As Danny Cipriani mourns his tragic ex-girlfriend, he is calling on people to follow Caroline Flack’s shining example and simply “be kind”.
In an emotional tribute, the rugby union star has opened his heart about the care she showed him – even after they split following last year’s romance.
The 32-year-old told how Caroline made him feel “safe” and was always there for him, right up to her final days.
Urging people to share their “embarrassing and shameful moments” rather than bottle things up, he revealed he too has battled “severe depression”.
He even admitted that 10 years ago he was so low he tried to buy a gun so that he could kill himself – a dark secret he had shared with Caroline.
And praising the tragic star, who ended her life aged 40 last Saturday, as a “loving” figure he encouraged everyone to be just like her – and simply “be kind”.
(Image: Instagram)
Danny spoke in a powerful 18-minute video he released on social media.
Exhaling deeply to get out his words, the shadows under his eyes showed how he has struggled since Caroline’s body was found at her London flat.
Fighting back tears, he said the former Love Island host – who he claims tried to call and message him on Valentine’s Day, the day before her death – sent him a voice message 15 days ago.
In it, he says despite her own woes she asked about his wellbeing.
Gloucester player Danny said: “If I play you the voice note she sent me when she was broken… She spent the last 20 seconds asking how I am and ‘How’s rugby?’ and ‘How’s this?’.”
He also spoke of how he was vulnerable when they met but she helped him open up. Danny said: “I told her all the things I was embarrassed and shameful about.
“And she made me feel OK and ultimately it was embarrassment and shame that killed her.
“So I’m telling everyone what my most embarrassing, shameful moments are because I know she knew I had the strength to do this and we had spoken about how things had to change.”
Of his attempt to buy a gun to end his life 10 years ago, Danny said: “I couldn’t do it because I had some fight in me.”
He said he had told Caroline and now feels “strong enough to share my moments of vulnerability” thanks, in part, to her.
Danny said: “I am just asking we are kind and if you have vulnerable moments, and you have people you care about, share it with them.”
Danny admitted to sending Caroline messages since her death that “she is not going to read”, adding: “I can see clearly now and I hate the fact it has taken someone so kind and so beautiful and had just as many faults as me and you… But never malicious. She was kind, she was loving.”
(Image: Caroline Flack/Instagram)
Caroline ended her life ahead of a trial for an alleged attack on boyfriend Lewis Burton, 27.
The fallout over the case had led to her quitting her beloved presenting role on ITV hit Love Island. As Danny spoke out to honour her yesterday, he became the latest in a growing throng of voices praising Caroline and calling for greater kindness in society.
Yesterday, her friend Simon Carroll described spending Valentine’s Day with her, chatting as they walked around Stoke Newington Cemetery, a peaceful place that Caroline loved.
Simon warned against a blame game over her death and spoke of how he and other friends are concentrating on spreading “joy and love, because we are her people”. He said: “Keep sharing her joy and let us all hear HER voice.”
Reading Caroline’s 2015 autobiography, Storm In A C Cup, it appears her caring nature was there from the start.
(Image: Instagram)
She wrote of how she and twin Jody used to visit a farm near their Norfolk home as kids. And tellingly, the animals Caroline made a beeline for every time were blind pigs kept in a pen away from the rest, because she felt sorry for them.
She said: “We’d get in with them and stroke their ears and generally give them as much love and affection as we could.”
And when a baby blackbird fell from its nest in her garden, she cared for it, although it only survived a week. She was desperate for pets, a living thing she could care for. The wish to comfort and protect others, especially those more vulnerable, seems to have been instinctive.
Caroline described herself as the “wild child”, less organised and more emotional than Jody. But that emotion came hand in hand with a big heart.
(Image: Mike Marsland/WireImage)
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In tributes since her death, the word kindness appears again and again.
Repeatedly, so many of her friends, like Danny, have spoken of the care Caroline, who was open about her own emotional turmoil over the years, showed – even when she was suffering.
Pop star Louise Redknapp, 45, called Caroline the “kindest” friend she had in showbiz.
She posted: “Caroline, when things were tough and you were going through equally such a tough time you reached out to me.
“It takes a certain soul to be able to reach out to someone who they don’t really know that well and speak from the heart but you did.”
Reality TV star Vicky Pattison, 32, said: “A couple years ago when I was having a hard time, Caroline was one of the first people to reach out. She used to message and call every day to make sure I was OK. Her kindness and caring nature floored me.”
(Image: Getty Images Europe)
TV and radio star Zoe Hardman, 37, again chose the word “kindness” to reflect on the girl she met in an audition 20 years ago.
And TV chef Gizzi Erskine, 40, recalled her as one of the most “kind-hearted people I know”, admitting Caroline had “quite literally saved my life once when I was going through hell”.
It all points to protecting those close to her being top of Caroline’s priorities. When she wrote her autobiography, she even sent a copy to everyone she mentioned before publication to make sure they were happy.
Caroline said: “I let them read certain bits and said if there was anything they didn’t like, I’d take it out.” And, of course, there was dedication for her family.
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She dropped everything to be with her dad when her parents split because he was abroad and alone. And she rushed to be with Jody when she had her first child.
But perhaps most tellingly, this instinctive compassion was not reserved for friends and family. Whether it was X Factor or Love Island, Caroline seemed to have genuinely cared for the contestants she worked with.
In her autobiography, she shows a protectiveness towards them, stressing she would never “take the mickey” in interviews.
She said: “Have fun with them, yes, but don’t look down your nose. Let them tell their story. If it’s funny, laugh – or say, ‘You wally!’ But no rolling of eyeballs with that ‘I’m better than you are’ look at the camera.”
Empathy was her strength and Love Island contestant Amy Hart is one of many to praise the care she had from “kindest soul” Caroline.
She said: “From putting us at ease on day one, to squeezing my hand when I didn’t know I needed it most, to inviting me to her dressing room for showtune karaoke, to giving me the pep talk of all pep talks at Aftersun, she kept me calm at the reunion and kept reassuring me.
“She didn’t HAVE to do any of that and she did.”
*Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org
