Jonathan on Matt
What were you hoping for?
The loss of my boxers at a yet undisclosed secondary location.
First impressions?
Oh Christ, he’s cute. Are we wearing the same outfit?
What did you talk about?
I knew we were off to a good start when I confessed to having a tinnie of rose on the tube before the date, and he said he’d been to a Spoons alone.
Any awkward moments?
We drunkenly lost each other after the third or fourth bar, so I spent 20 minutes stumbling around Soho listening to Madonna deep cuts trying to find him.
Good table manners?
Impeccable, he was great with his hands.
Best thing about Matt?
He’s kind, but still has a filthy sense of humour.
Would you introduce him to your friends?
I already did, in the morning.
Describe Matt in three words
Funny, handsome, messy.
What do you think he made of you?
I reckon he would probably place me somewhere between Boris Johnson at a Jennifer Arcuri business launch party and Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.
Did you go on somewhere?
I think the order was: pub to see his friend, pub to see his flatmate, gay bar, gay bar, gay bar, Uber, bus, Uber, undisclosed secondary location.
And… did you kiss?
What do you think?
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
One of us got stopped by a police officer, that probably could have been avoided. Luckily, the only charge was having too much fun.
Marks out of 10?
9.
Would you meet again?
Seeing him on Sunday.
Matt on Jonathan
What were you hoping for?
A laugh and a free meal.
First impressions?
I thought he was handsome.
What did you talk about?
Our most embarrassing stories, travel and our shared love of Berlin. We had a lot in common; we’ve lived in the same places and worked for very similar organisations.
Any awkward moments?
We were wearing the same shirt.
Good table manners?
Terrible. But so are mine, so it took the pressure off.
Best thing about Jonathan?
He’s just a really lovely human being.
Would you introduce him to your friends?
I did, and they loved him!
Describe Jonathan in three words
Kind, fun, cute.
What do you think he made of you?
He probably thinks I’m bat-shit crazy.
Did you go on somewhere?
We lost each other at 4am. My phone had died, so I got the bus home, got undressed and got into bed. When my phone charged, I phoned Jonathan and we decided I should get an Uber to his house. I ran out of the door, forgetting to put on a T-shirt.
And… did you kiss?
Yes. Loads.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
We should have treated the meal as a meal, not as pre-drinks.
Marks out of 10?
9.
Would you meet again?
Definitely. I need to give him back the T-shirt he lent me to go home in.
• Jonathan and Matt ate at Casa Pastor, Coal Drops Yard, London N1.
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