Christophe Robin’s Cleansing Purifying Scrub with Sea Salt is a glittering paste that looks like it’s made of crushed opals. It was developed by a lanky French colorist whose Paris salon adjoins Le Meurice Hotel, where a one-night stay costs upwards of one thousand dollars and Catherine Deneuve can be seen walking the corridors on her way to and from root touch-ups. To be consistent with Christophe Robin’s fancy brand values, this scalp scrub retails for £53 for 250 milliliters (which is about a third of a can of Coke, for reference).
YOU’RE SAYING: What a royal scam, £53 dollars for… what even is this?
ME: It’s a shampoo.
YOU: £53 for a shampoo!
ME: Yes, but it’s not the shampoo you’re used to. It uses abrasive salt crystals suspended in a conditioning paste that is meant to treat your scalp, which happens to be the fleshy bedrock on which your hair is built. This scrub cleanses your scalp of dead skin and product buildup, while also stimulating blood flow in the scalp. After using it, your hair will look fuller, more vibrant, and generally excellent. Meanwhile, you aren’t stripping your hair of all of the natural stuff that makes it gleam in direct sunlight.
CHRISTOPHE ROBIN: Yes, c’est vrai, this is all correct, and it is ideal for those who frequently color their hair. The hydrating ingredients treat the barren, post-apocalyptic landscape of a bleach-scorched scalp without interfering with a fresh gloss.
ME: You don’t have to use it every shampoo to get the benefits. Even if you do, the tub lasts forever. I gave my mom one three years ago, and she still has half of the jar left.
YOUR REPLY: (Nothing. There are no further questions.)
Christophe Robin’s Cleansing Purifying Scrub with Sea Salt is available for £53.
