Let’s make something clear from the get-go: pineapple penis does not involve shoving your dick inside an exotic fruit.
Doing so could harm your precious cargo and it is not recommended.
That being said, there is a sexual scenario that involves pineapples, but more on that later.
For now, please step away from the fruit and pull your boxers up before you keep reading.
Contrary to its name, pineapple penis doesn’t actually involve, er, pineapple – but has much more to do with pubic hair.
So, how do you know if you have it?
If you shave the pubes at the base of your dick, and leave it for a few weeks, it is very likely that your penis will be magically transformed into a make-shift pineapple.
The hair forms the leaves, also known as the ‘crown’, while your penis – especially when erect – is the glorious fruit itself.
Urban Dictionary explains it as follows: ‘One to two weeks after shaving your pubes/base of dick. The hairs remind you of the pricks on a pineapple, resulting in a pineapple penis.’
As it turns out, there are a lot of pineapple references when it comes to genitals.
There’s also the ‘dirty pineapple’, which has two meanings.
The first is when a woman has a hairy vagina with very coarse hair, which, once again, resembles the leaves.
The second has nothing to do with pubic hair and everything to do with a sexual myth that involves pineapples.
In this scenario, a man slides his penis through a pineapple slice and then has sex with a woman. The idea is that the juice from fruit will act as a clitoral stimulant, as well as add a tasty flavour to the dick.
The man can also accomplish the dirty pineapple on his own, by masturbating with the juice.
Note: this is a very bad idea and you should not use the fruit, its leaves or juices near your own or your partner’s genitals.
If you really want your genitals to taste like pineapple, might we suggest a safe lubricant manufactured for this very purpose, instead?
Pineapple penis on the other hand is completely safe.
MORE: Women want their ideal partner to have an average penis, not a big one – why?
