Stefflon Don ft Lil Baby
Phone Down
The premise of Stefflon Don’s best single in two years is that Steff’s fancyman has a telephone (probably one of those fancy cordless ones although it’s not explicitly stated), and he enjoys looking at it – but Steff needs attention. A bit rich considering Steff seems to have her own head buried in a book, specifically a rhyming dictionary: “Why you always got your phone in your hand?” she asks. “I swear it’s feeling like I ain’t got a man / I just want to take it, run it over with a van.” WITH A VAN.
Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello
Señorita
You know I Know What You Did Last Summer, what Shawn and Camila did four summers ago? For the sequel – with Cashmere Cat, Benny Blanco, Charli XCX and Jack off Clean Bandit among this song’s cast of thousands – the Gen Z Sandy and Danny relate the story of a holiday romance that begins with indecisiveness on Shawn’s part (“It felt like ooh-la-la-la – yeah, no”) and ends, as I suppose these things sometimes do, with intercourse in a hotel room. In fragile masculinity news, the giveaway that the chorus was originally written for a solo female artist is the “I love it when you call me señorita” chorus hook, where you can hear Shawn’s voice suddenly drop out on the “me”.
Zara Larsson
All the Time
Check out Zara Larsson’s new Daft Punk-referencing single All the Time if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.
ThisisNAMASTE
Exactly What You Want
Has a former Rita Ora backing vocalist and the daughter of two dentists (???) gone and knocked out one of the sturdiest pop debuts of the year? Quite possibly, but the main point is that ThisisNAMASTE seems like a ropey pop star moniker until you realise her real name is Natasha Marie Stewart, and that a pop career involving the word “namaste” was inevitable and, I would argue, compulsory.
Freddie Mercury
Time Waits for No One
The story behind this is so boring it will make you yearn for the excitement of a 19-hour Live Aid reconstruction, but long story short: this originally came out decades ago and they have twiddled around with old vocals, invented a new version and given it artwork resembling a meme your mum shares on Facebook. I was intending to use this space for a spirited defence of I Was Born to Love You, ie the best song Fredreth ever made, but to be honest I’m still reeling from that Stefflon Don lyric about the van.
