Amelia, 80
The sexual attraction is instantaneous: when we embrace I switch on to a level of arousal I cannot remember having with anybody else
I had not had sex for 20 years before I met Hugh. I’d been married for 51 years but my husband couldn’t stand my snoring and suggested I sleep elsewhere, which I did. That was the end of our sex life. But because I was so busy living life with my ageing husband and looking after him, sex was the last thing on my mind.
When he died three years ago, it didn’t occur to me to go out looking for sex, or indeed another relationship. I have a very full life and I never felt there was anything lacking. But last year my niece encouraged me to join a dating website, which is how I met Hugh. We’ve known each other for only 15 weeks but in this short time, I’ve not only rediscovered my sexual side, but also a sexual energy that I simply didn’t have before, even though I was very promiscuous as a young woman.
The sexual attraction is instantaneous: when he arrives at my house, we embrace and my breasts and nipples immediately switch on to a level of arousal I cannot remember having with anybody else.
Our sexual relationship has evolved over the weeks. Very soon after we met I had a major operation, and I had huge anxiety over whether I would be able to have penetrative sex. So during my recovery we would explore each other gently with our hands, lips, and tongues, and an awful lot of body rubbing. We would lie naked together and he would rub his penis against my clitoris, which was utterly glorious.
We have done things together that we’ve never done with other people. We do quite a lot of topping and tailing, and he has a very active, energetic tongue, which he uses to great effect. Thank God we are both very fit, as we normally see each other two or three nights a week and we have sex each morning and night. And often we have sex on the sofa in the afternoon.
We’re like a couple of 18-year-olds – but with far more knowledge and experience. There’s a confidence in being this age and thinking I have absolutely nothing to lose. To find such sexual communion at this stage in life feels like the ultimate bonus.
Hugh, 78
The emotional and psychological connection was so strong that the physical became a tidal wave
Before I met Amelia I had to face the question of whether I’d reached the end of my sex life. I’d previously been married for 30 years and probably hadn’t had sex for the last five years. At my age I was uncertain about my ability to do it, whether I could achieve an erection at the age of 78.
My doctor prescribed me Viagra, but that’s only part of the issue. Sex isn’t mechanical or pharmaceutical, it’s much more about emotions. I only really understood that fully when I met Amelia. The emotional and psychological connection was so strong that the physical became a tidal wave. From the start, I found her humour, intelligence, openness, and love of fun very attractive. That was a real turn on for me. So the whole question of the erection was forgotten. I didn’t have to worry because my penis took over, really.
At the beginning we were cautious, we wanted to see how things would evolve. We began exploring each other through the use of our tongues and fingers. I’m very creative in the use of my tongue, it’s a bit like a musical instrument. So using that is very powerful, as is the use of a pause here or there to create anticipation. We enjoy many aspects of making love, not purely penetration. The Kama Sutra talked about toes I think – we haven’t tried it yet, but I would do. It’s just a question of getting round to it.
Having no work at 78 is fantastic, as we have got lots of time for love making. Normally it’ll be at least an hour each time, twice a day.
The assumption that you can’t make love when you get to your 70s is complete nonsense. The expertise we’ve gained over the years helps us to be much better lovers. We’re also both fit, which helps. I have practised yoga for 50 years, which has given me incredible flexibility.
