The new faces of self-love: meet the 10 inspirational coverstars of GLAMOUR’s second annual Self-Love issue

A This is such an interesting question and I feel if I were a supermodel or just someone who was deemed by the world as beautiful, I wouldn’t be asked what beauty means to me, as it wouldn’t matter – I would just be beautiful, something to aspire to or envy. I find that beauty is placed on the shoulders of those who are not conventionally attractive to define beauty, to carry the weight of everyone else’s obsession with beauty and also bear the brunt of the fallacy that is the pretty universally accepted “standard of beauty” (white, abled-bodied, cisgender, thin, etc). Folks who don’t fit into that made-up scheme are otherwise forgotten, washed away in a sea of colonial standards that continue to get regurgitated, despite our existence.

A I think a major turning point was realising that the focus of self-acceptance is not a linear path with a certificate at the end, it is an ongoing process that goes beyond the body that I am. I also feel like it matters less than: how do the systems we live in care about people and their bodies? It’s a lot of emphasis put on the individual and how we feel, but the focus on the individual is fleeting, superficial.

At the end of day in a white supremacist, capitalist world, we are supposed to hate our bodies, to work ourselves to death to fit into clothes, buy stuff because larger structures want to fulfil capitalism, which requires the focus to becomes less about ecological destruction and environmental injustice, the disproportionately vast racial wealth gap, wage theft, exploitation of workers, especially Black trans/gnc and queer folks. The messaging is that fitting in clothes and bodies being represented in advertising campaigns and in media is not to change the system, but to change your body. It wants you to focus on yourself and less about other people; that you’re the problem that needs to be fixed via self acceptance, not the world that doesn’t provide people the space, time and financial resource to decide for themselves what self-love means.

It would be a whole lot easier for folks to love and accept themselves if they had a liveable, equitable wage. If rent was cancelled during a global pandemic in one of the hardest hit places like the US where evictions take place in some of the most gentrified cities. If the police didn’t kill Black people with immunity. If political prisoners were freed. If prisons were abolished… the list goes on.

A Well, I’m a Black non-binary queer femme and immediately most people usually take issue with that, all over the world, but especially in the US. Beyond the obvious historical context, “Black is beautiful”, a phrase with roots in Black revolutionary political and cultural movements from Negritude of the 1930s to anti-apartheid in South Africa to the Black Panthers in Oakland in the 60s. It arose as a counter narrative to the myth-making that whiteness and white institutions used to rationalise racial imperialism and violence against Black people that still happens today. I’m not exempt from that. To be clear, racism is not a challenge to me accepting my own beauty, it’s a challenge to the systems and people that sustain themselves on the very premise that white is the only beauty that can and should exist.

A I think I’m still exploring what is healthy for me, listening to my body and honestly, trying to survive has made me not really think about the meaning of it theoretically as often. I’m trying to live out what I think it means for me and what normally takes precedence over that are the conditions that I live in that could cause me stress, anxiety or impede upon my physical and mental health.

A I try to move my body, go to therapy regularly, drink water, not be fatphobic to myself or to others, do yoga, read and practise my English accent by watching Love Island UK!

A You don’t have to love yourself – agitate to dismantle the structures that hate you.

A Throughout my life, I always dealt with my body very well, I had made some changes because I wanted to, not because I was ashamed of my body, simply because I wanted to make some changes and I liked the result. With each passing year my relationship with beauty becomes more and more peaceful, for example I never had a problem exposing what people call ‘imperfections’. Each body is a body the way it is.

A Not caring what others say!

A I never cared about it, it never bothered me, so in fact body image was never a prison for me. I was doing what I thought would do me good, but it never made me a prisoner or interrupted something in my life. I always accepted myself and I never submitted to the beauty industry and the perfect body.

I have had a lot of plastic surgeries. It’s not that I don’t accept my imperfections, because I mean, for example, cellulite, that’s something that I have more than oxygen inside me, more than water. I have cellulite more than anything else in my body. There’s no such treatment that can change this reality. I can do diets, which I hate, I can work out, which I also hat. So I’m not going to have a life that I don’t like just to take all my cellulite.

I prefer to live with that, to accept it and say, ‘OK, if you don’t like it, it’s your problem.’ I’m not going to take this problem to me. I don’t hide it. I don’t feel like, “Oh my God, let me hide my cellulite.” I just put it in the music video, if people like, fine. If they don’t, fine too.

People are always like, ‘love yourself’. But then they never say when they changed something. If you want to change, go there and change it, don’t waste your time caring about it and what other people think. I have some friends that are like, “Oh, I wish I could change this or that. But I’m so afraid of what people are going to say.” I’m like, “What? You don’t change, because of what people are going to say?!” I think it’s important more on the internet, because the internet makes teenagers and young people feel like that. Nobody’s going to post, “Hello, today I woke up so sad,” people are going to post beautiful things. I always tell my audience, don’t take internet life like real life.

A Being healthy for me means being well mentally and with your own body.

A I am very active, I am always exercising myself mentally and physically. On my days off I like to be next to my family and friends, I like to travel, to meet people and get to know places. I also try not to care what people say about me.

A I think people should look in the mirror and believe that they are perfect just the way they are, without comparisons, because there is no one like anyone. And the most important thing is to love themselves and respect others.

A Beauty to me, is to be yourself. Once we are our true selves we are beautiful. Beauty is being beautiful internally as well as externally; it’s the energy we exude as individuals.

A My relationship with beauty has changed immensely as I have got older. I used to believe that beauty was solely based upon how a person looked. During my early teenage years, I never saw any representation of myself within the media and in the magazines I read. Growing up, I did not think that I was beautiful. I would always base beauty on the way someone looked, however it is so much deeper than this.

A turning point for me was when I began to accept who I was: Nyome, and all of the greatness I possess. I made more time for self care, introspection and nurturing my mental health. All of these important acts of self-love have helped to cultivate and shape me into the beautiful person I am today and I allow myself to say, “I am beauty” without feeling bad about it.

A The most challenging aspect I have faced was listening to other people’s opinions surrounding my beauty. I was told I was not beautiful because I am a big-bodied Black woman, as if the two are mutually exclusive. Once I had learnt to accept all parts of my being, the disrespectful comments no longer had the same impact on me. I had to fight to be respected, to be seen and carve a path for myself, because slim white women are seen as the ultimate pinnacle of what beauty is and what is deemed to be beautiful.

A I am now aware that having a positive body image is the most important. We only have one body our whole lives and we need to respect ourselves and to honour the vessel that carries us and keeps us alive. I have found that having a positive outlook on how we view ourselves is the pinnacle of achieving self-love. Learning about the ‘fat liberation movement’ showed me that body image and how we see ourselves is the most important thing, especially if a bigger body is the vessel. People will always have something to say about body image – more so in relation to fat bodies – so learning to have a positive view on it really helped me, especially when I experienced an eating disorder during my school years.

A Health is not just just a physical thing, it is the marriage of mind, body and spirit. Once they are all encompassed, I believe that is when we are most healthy.

A I look after my physical health by walking every day. I am also a keen swimmer; before Covid, my mum and I would swim three times a week at 6am to start the day. For my mental health, I go to therapy two times a month and this has helped me immensely. I also practise grounding, guided meditations and speak self affirmations of love to myself. I have placed affirmations around my room so I can remind myself to start the day by saying positive things.

A Firstly, do not be hard on yourself if you are at the beginning of your journey with self-love and are finding it difficult; it takes a lot of practice and a plethora of little steps and daily practises to master complete self-love. Find activities that centre you, practise positive words of affirmation daily. Make you the centre of your universe so that you are aware of what you need to love yourself unconditionally and without apology.

A Beauty to me, means living in love. It means having love for your completely authentic self, while embracing and loving others for who they are and what they want to be. Whether it be on the inside or outside, when people embrace what makes them THEM and what makes them different, something powerful happens. When we embrace and celebrate others’ differences, things become magical – and that, to me, is beauty.

A Growing up, I was genuinely convinced that I was “ugly” because I was “a ginger”. Being raised in Florida, I always wanted to be tan and have any other hair colour than “bright orange” in the Florida sun. I was even told in school, by a friend’s sister, that I would never find love because “guys don’t ever want to date a ginger”, which is hilarious to me now, but heartbreaking at the time. I homeschooled my eighth-grade year because of the bullying, and my mom allowed me to join acting classes to hopefully boost my confidence.

Being around a lot of artists, who also felt different in their lives, was life changing. We were able to lift each other up and embrace each other’s differences, inside and out. It was then, that I started to realise that what made me different, was actually special. I also started my journey of self acceptance, and realised that it had to start from within. Due to always having negative comments about my appearance, it was my main insecurity, but I also quickly realised that it had become my main focus in that year. I decided to put that on the backburner and begin to love me for whatever I looked like. Outward appearance evolves and changes throughout your life, and it is a slippery slope when you make that your identity. When I began to love me ‘for me’, I found what beautiful felt like.

A Redhead jokes still exist. People still think that they have a free pass to say whatever they want at your expense, even though that is how you were born. I think that when you are picked on (for whatever it may be) from a young age, as much as you grow and heal from it, there will always be a part of you that remembers that hurting child. I would be lying if I said I don’t revert back to that insecure, bullied me for moments at a time, before I pick myself up out of it. But in those moments, I do remember those feelings of wishing I could look the same as everyone else, especially when people make jokes that they deem as harmless. But that is also a reminder to me of how far I have come in my self acceptance journey – and that is just what it is, a journey.

A I have no patience for body shaming. I think society and the media puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on women to have the ‘trendy’ body type. And I say trendy, because the ideal body type changes every decade. What is celebrated today, is going to be shamed in nine years, and vice versa. I have heard countless stories from women who finally had enough because they were killing themselves with diets, exercise and even surgery for a certain type of body that is not natural/healthy for them.

All power to you, if you are enjoying the process and loving the results for YOU, but the minute it becomes anxiety driven and unhealthy, it’s time to check in with yourself. I am not going to exclude myself in this, either. It is an everyday effort to remind myself of the reality of body trends and what works for my body. I think at one point or another, every woman has felt this pressure, and the pit in their stomach from not physically being ‘enough’. I am excited to see where society is heading when it comes to this issue.

A Balance is key as well. If you want that cake, and that will make you feel good for that day, go eat that cake. The same goes for mental and spiritual health. When I tune into something that’s making me feel bad, I am able to make decisions that will help me get to where I am feeling good. I remember when I learnt that, it made ‘healthy’ a lot simpler for me.

A Running for me, is my escape from reality. It is the only time my mind really feels quiet and at ease, especially in such a loud, very stimulating world. It is not always fun or something I want to do, but it is an act of self-love for me, as it benefits both my physical and mental health.

I am also a huge advocate for therapy. I think everyone and their mother needs to go to therapy. Therapy is a way to process life events with a non-biased professional who then can give you tools going forward. It helps you understand yourself and others. I also think that there are so many misconceptions about what it really is and who qualifies to go. ANYONE can go. It is definitely beneficial for people who are dealing with hardships in their lives, but let’s be honest, I think every single person has had some kind of hardship in their life. And if they say they haven’t, they, too, need therapy.

A I think the most important practice of self-love is periodically checking in with yourself. Sitting back and assessing how certain situations make you feel, while being honest with yourself regardless of what others may think, is the first step of self-love. In my opinion, once you conquer this first step, you are off to the races. I like to picture each of us having a cup that is being filled or depleted on a daily basis. Each of us has a responsibility to determine what causes our fullness or emptiness. We simply cannot pour into another’s cup if our own is empty. And sometimes people continue to take when we are running on empty, but how could they ever know if we never point out when it is time to go fill up? It is our responsibility to set boundaries, and put ourselves first.

Finding what fills you up, putting yourself first, and practising this form of self-love, I believe, is actually one of the most important things you can do for other people as well. Through loving yourself and filling your cup, you are giving yourself the opportunity to pour into other people who are still on their journey and have not yet discovered this powerful tool.

A It sounds awfully clichéd, but someone is beautiful when they’re kind to others and unapologetically themselves. There’s so much beauty and bravery in loving yourself and not caring what other people think.

A I grew up believing that beauty meant perfection, looking as aesthetically perfect as possible and using whatever means possible to achieve that. As I’ve got older though, I’ve realised perfection doesn’t exist, and the longer you spend chasing it, the unhappier you become. Instead, I’ve slowly learnt to love the bits I already have, and I use the rest of my energy on enjoying life.

A I used to self-sabotage and gravitate towards people who would make me feel sh*t about myself – whether that was in a romantic or platonic sense. I can tell you that loving and accepting yourself becomes much, much harder when you surround yourself with people who enjoy seeing you miserable. Being sad affects your wellbeing in so many ways. Cutting toxic people out is a challenge, but it is desperately needed in order to feel beautiful from within.

A I didn’t think it was possible to *truly* love yourself. I thought it was something that a lucky few were born with. Now I know a happy body image comes with working on yourself, by keeping yourself healthy both physically and mentally, and fighting against what society says is “ugly” or wrong.

A Healthy, to me, is feeling content, a ‘flatline’ sorta feeling. It’s not about having a six pack physically, or feeling extreme highs mentally (not all the time, anyway, and feeling ok with that!). It’s about keeping your physical health and emotions on a level that feels safe, rational and good for you.

A I walk every day without fail. I think because of Covid, it’s become very easy to stay at home and let your thoughts get the better of you. I definitely get anxiety when I don’t move my body! I notice that whenever I feel down, I tend to hide away from my friends so I consciously make an effort to reach out to friends and remain as sociable as I possibly can to boost my mental health. Even a ten minute phone call can lift my spirits. If I’m feeling particularly anxious, I also find staying off social media makes me feel way better.

A Don’t rely on anyone else to make you happy. You have to learn to do that yourself. Once (and if) you learn to believe in yourself, and start telling yourself how wonderful you are, I guarantee you’ll start believing it.

A Beauty can be deconstructed and reconstructed at any moment, it is simply a forever-changing idea and reflection of our society. Growing up, I learnt that beauty was something that I wasn’t, and as I got older, I realised that I could redefine it for myself. Beauty is like a flower. Each of them are unique, much like a tulip and a rose. They are both flowers, yet they look completely different, nonetheless they are both beautiful. That is how I see beauty, although ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’! In my eyes, beauty is also strength and confidence. It is also growth; in fact, the process of learning to love yourself can be ‘beauty’ itself.

A In high school, I was very shy and extremely insecure. I hated myself and my body, more specifically I hated being hairy. I had chest hair (since the age of 11), it kept getting thicker and darker the more I tried to remove it. These negative thoughts and beliefs about myself became detrimental to my mental health. In that dark moment, I believed that I only had two choices: stay in this state or save myself. I decided to choose to get myself out of that dark place. That choice marked the beginning of my self-love journey.

Through prayer and working on myself, I slowly started to believe I was beautiful, but my relationship with my body was still not where I wanted it to be. Going to the aesthetician made me realise that when my chest hair was gone, it started to feel like it wasn’t me any more, but that I was ‘normal’ now. But seeing myself with it, and getting used to it, made me question my decisions and why I kept torturing my body.

In the beginning of university, I began a process of unlearning these detrimental ideas that had been destroying me for so long. Painting became a medium I used to deal with my struggles; I felt like I could express what I was going through with art, without having to speak. I have painted since I was 12 years old and found myself painting my body-image experiences later on.

In the summer of 2019, I was having a growing love for sewing and self-photography; I decided to create a self-liberating photography project called Lavender. A project about body hair and femininity, it questioned what being feminine meant while showing that body hair can be beautiful and that I can be beautiful with it. The pictures were posted on Instagram showcasing the lavender-coloured dress I made and wore while showing my chest hair for the first time. From then on, it has become a mission of mine to normalise body hair and to show it in a different perspective, all the while using my motto, ‘We wear our body hair with class.’ Ever since then, my idea of beauty has changed and my relationship with my body continues to develop as I watch my body hair grow and decorate my skin.

A The biggest challenge I faced in accepting my beauty was the war with myself and having to decide whether I wanted to continue removing my body hair or watch it grow, spread, get darker and thicker. Knowing that beauty standards have changed so many times, I had to realise that redefining beauty was possible; that, instead of conforming to those ideals, I could break free from them and create my own beauty. Understanding that I have that power and that we all hold it was a challenge. I believe that fear is also one of the biggest obstacles when it comes to making a decision for yourself; the fear of being judged and mocked. At that moment, I didn’t care whether people would accept or respect my beauty, I simply wanted to be free because I was in a dark place. Learning to love myself and seeing myself as beautiful made me understand that other people’s opinions of me shouldn’t matter and that they were only expressing the ideas society had programmed us to believe at a young age.

Education is important and helps others unlearn and understand these ideas that are anchored in society, and once people know, they get to make their own decision. Therefore, I didn’t blame them, though it is still scary sometimes going out unshaved because people have stared [at me] while talking among themselves. I try to remind myself of the reason why I made this decision and that if I feel beautiful it doesn’t matter what others think. I won’t force the world to love or respect me and I will simply keep doing what I do.

Also, having the support of my parents helped me a lot, including having my mother encouraging me growing up and teaching me how to be confident. Now I continue making self-photography series because I realised how important it was, that others like myself are stuck in that dark place and that my images can help them, inspire them and set them free as they did for me. My purpose became bigger and receiving messages from around the world from women and others, and knowing how much I’ve helped them, keeps me motivated.

A On social media, I got to see different body types and different types of beauty around the world, which helped expand my thoughts on body image. As a kid, I remember watching a documentary where a woman decided to keep her beard; seeing women like that on social media – women who decided to love and accept themselves as they are – changed the way I saw that concept. Now that all bodies are slowly being accepted or put into light, I realise that body image can be changed when we are tired of feeling so unworthy, unloved and unbeautiful.

I saw that there were communities of women who were changing things. I also got to analyse what I was being fed through magazines and television. I started to understand the power of photography and media, and also whose pockets were being filled by the propagation of these beauty standards. My idea of body image also continued to change as I learnt that in my great grandmother’s time, in my tribe, Wè (Côte-d’Ivoire) women were hairy and were seen as beautiful.

I realised that my body image went far deeper and was also now connected to my personal identity. My perception of my own body image completely changed and societal standards could not hold me down any more. As society has picked and chosen what was deemed beautiful and acceptable, we all have the freedom to do the same for ourselves while following inspiring role models who continue to fight and join this revolution.

A Healthy can mean whether or not you feel good in your body, or whether you are sick or not, in the most literal definition. A healthy person is one who is well and in shape according to society. I believe that I am healthy when I eat well and drink enough water, and simply take care of myself. But I am also aware that what is ‘healthy’ is whatever society has set for all of us and that what is set may be different elsewhere in the world as well.

For example, my Haitian grandmother didn’t see me as healthy because for her as a Black woman I shouldn’t be so skinny. While going to school, I was seen as healthy just because I was skinny; when being skinny doesn’t mean that you are healthy, we all know that. I could be eating junk food all day and still look thin. Another example would be when my Ivorian grandmother saw how hairy I was and let my father know that I was as hairy as a Wè [as before] woman (woman of my Ivorian tribe), while for others my excessive body hair makes them believe that I am not normal and therefore I am sick, when I am not.

When I think about what is healthy, it is much more complex than I make it seem and it can’t be expressed in a small paragraph. In my opinion, the simplest way I can define what is healthy for myself is how well I feel in my own body. ‘Healthy’ is often associated with what is normal in a society, and normal – much like beauty standards – is forever changing.

A I take care of my physical health by showering every day, putting cream on my body, making sure I put deodorant on when I get out of the house – the most basic things. I try my best to not eat too much junk food, and drink enough water. I also let myself rest when I feel that my body is hurting from overworking it. I take care of my physical body by complimenting it [more on that later] as well, which is similar to how I take care of my mental health.

My mental health is very important, in fact, I need to be in a good mental state to paint, to create art in general and to work. I have also become aware of my inner circle and how much they affect my mental health, so I chose to be aware of who I let in and tend to make sure I’m surrounded by optimistic people, who speak positivity in their lives. Praying and talking to my God, Yehovah, is the most important part of my mental health and without Him I wouldn’t still be here today.

Every time I feel down, I vent to Him and ask Him to take my pain away, which He does. I also ask Him to help me make better decisions, help me improve myself and work on myself to become a better version every day. He helped me realise that there was nothing wrong with me, but with society itself. Lastly, talking to my mom helps as well. Talking with her and hearing her encourage me brings me more confidence.

A The best advice would be to be aware that self-love is a process and that it won’t change in a day, that you must work towards it every day. It is important to have goals in this journey that you can reach. Also, knowing that you are your own biggest enemy helps you understand that part of you doesn’t want you to win for an odd reason. But following inspiring people that have worked towards it and defeated some of the negative thoughts helps encourage you to continue, and helps you believe that it is possible to love yourself fully.

There are simple exercises that you can do that I like to teach on my YouTube channel, Queen Esie’s Diary Of A Hairy Woman, of which complimenting yourself and encouraging yourself in the mirror every morning is one. The process is also a rollercoaster; you won’t love yourself every day, but getting into the habit of seeing yourself as someone else and being kind to yourself – knowing that your body needs to hear kind words – will help. Lastly, know that you have the power to redefine beauty for yourself.

A To me, it means confidence, happiness, comfort. We need to see to recognise that beauty is such a simple concept we all have in common.

A It got completely amplified. Acknowledging that I won’t be at the top of anyone’s standards but my own is hard to accept at first. However, it is something I now consider as an important value to even teach at school.

A My perception of myself colliding against someone else’s point of view about me, while trying to avoid the bad habit of needing to explain my existence to others who won’t comprehend it or accept the way it is.

A It turned more patient and tolerant, and left behind the draining and demanding feelings it used to have. Now, my body does not need anyone’s suggestions, but mine, which can be hard to process before you start to understand the power you have regarding the way you are able to see yourself.

A It means taking care of yourself; from saying “I love you” in front of a mirror, to letting yourself enjoy your well-deserved meal. And from cutting off toxic environments in your life, to letting others know your feelings.

A I do what I want and need to do. My goals change as I develop my life, so I ask myself every single day ‘What do I want and need to feel comfy, happier with myself and to feel enough?’ You are allowed to evolve whenever you want. Just have in mind to always do it to maintain or expand your wellness, not decrease it.

A Start putting yourself in first place, you aren’t here to please anyone. Cut mentally exhausting relationships and ask yourself what you truly need at the moment. But never forget that it takes time and effort, and that it’s OK to not feel good when you are trying your best. Everything will be alright, believe in your power.

A The meaning of beauty has gone through many different stages in my life. It’s a love/hate relationship with understanding what it actually means to me. Love, because I am someone that sees beauty in everything in this world; it’s very easy for me to hyperfocus on little things in life and feel absolute gratitude towards those moments. Then hate, well, to be honest, deep dislike comes from the reality of knowing how sometimes society can warp what beauty means and create a fake perception to categorise people into groups. That’s hurting people emotionally during extremely sensitive times in their lives. Personally, for me there is beauty in absolutely everything. In moments where I am vulnerable with myself and in moments where I feel extremely strong.

A My relationship with beauty can only be described as a rollercoaster of emotions. I have definitely learnt and grown as an individual to appreciate those moments. I am more self-aware and I am trying to be more gentle with myself in regards to how I perceive myself physically and how I show the world. I grew up with a lot of physical insecurities for my body. Especially when there wasn’t anyone I was able to pinpoint in magazines or on television growing up. I honestly couldn’t relate to anyone that was being reflected back at me.

So with those things at the forefront of my mind, I was very insecure, and felt like I did not belong – and that my body was otherworldly and not accepted in the world that I lived in – because representation was just not there. So, my mind immediately concluded and assumed that I did not matter; thus having deep insecurities about the way my body looked and what beauty meant to me, and that my body wasn’t beautiful enough, because I didn’t see anyone with my body type/form loving their body.

I clearly remember the moment where the turning point happened in my life, when I woke up feeling extremely tired of feeling this way. I knew that something didn’t feel right and that these feelings were not how I really felt inside. I woke up that morning and just stared at myself. I began to cry and told myself that from here on out, I will be more appreciative of the life that I was given; that this body is mine and nobody else’s, so I am the only one who has power over it and turned that power into self acceptance.

Every bit of my body and I began to feel gratitude for having it. With every single inch and centimetre, I gave it a mental hug. I remember actually hugging myself that day. I wanted to feel safe within myself, no matter the lack of representation that I saw on these platforms. It’s definitely been an uphill battle, but a battle that has given me such a beautiful perspective and I am forever grateful that I was able to enter that mindset and be the representation that I was looking for.

A I think the biggest challenge probably has to be feeling that I am not worthy of feeling beautiful or being a part of society because I have a physical disability, which can be very different for those who have never seen someone like myself. To have empathy for those people and not get mad for getting rejected because of something that I cannot control. I choose to educate people about self acceptance while living with a disability.

I don’t have to, but when I do it’s beautiful how I can stop and appreciate how far I’ve come. Social media sometimes can be a very tough environment for those who are like myself dealing with negative comments – or people who are extremely insecure and project their own insecurities to people who are confident and understand the true meaning of beauty. Beauty that has many different layers and dimensions. Beauty can make you feel warm and free. Not many get there, but the majority of us know that feeling and let me tell you, it’s a beautiful one.

A Growing up there were a lot of misconceptions about body image. I come from a family where there have been many times when our Latin bodies are put under microscopes and are dissected in such a way that it removes the human altogether. So we grow up with a lot of insecurities, when in reality we should be celebrating all types of bodies, because there is literally so much room for all of them to fit in one place. How has it changed? By self-acceptance of my own body, loving it and caring for it every single day, but also giving space and loving people who have different kinds of bodies as well, without judgment.

A Being healthy means someone who has gone to the doctor and the doctor has approved of them living a healthy lifestyle. My personal health is one that consists of being a vegetarian, but I am not in the position to judge what healthy means to anybody else but myself and my doctor.

A As I get older I’ve learnt how important my physical and mental health is. I do my best to exercise as much as possible or as much as my body allows it. I don’t exercise to look a certain way; I do it to strengthen my muscles so I can do every-day activities that can be easy for others, but harder for myself living with a physical disability and muscular dystrophy. My exercises are personalised to me on what I can do: I don’t go further and I don’t go less. It’s also very freeing and adrenaline-pumping after every session.

As far as mental health, I have learnt this year how crucial and important it is to look after it. I do my best to meditate in the morning before I even check my phone, whether that is three minutes or 10 minutes, I do my best to start the day as calm and as ready as possible to meet with the things that I need to do that day. It’s not the easiest thing when your mind is running at all times and if I do miss a day, I tell myself that that is alright as well. Journalling has also re-entered my life and if it’s a few sentences or six pages, I do my best to write as much as I can. I am definitely the kind of person who also throws in a few trinkets and drawings to give a full picture of what’s happening.

I also have started to go to a therapist and talk about things that are either happening at the moment or revisiting moments or traumas that have affected me. My therapist gives me tools to better my mental state and to be the best person I can be. Trust me, anybody who goes to a therapist knows how important it is to talk to someone who is a professional and can give you guidance to be the best person for yourself.

It has saved me. I have so much gratitude for my therapist and for therapists out there whose job it is to guide people in the best direction possible. Something else that has been helping, as far as physical and mental health at the same time, is choosing the people who you surround yourself with. Bad or negative energy is a place I know very well and has not helped me at all, so I do my best to check with myself and who I surround myself with. It’s become extremely important to me. The love that you give should equal the love that you receive.

A Gratitude. Feeling gratitude for everything that you have, for every inch of your body, for every breath that you take, and for that moment when you acknowledge how beautiful you are: that there is not one single person out there who is exactly like you and that in itself is unique. You are the rarest of stones. Practising affirmation, giving yourself hugs, knowing how beautiful this opportunity of living and breathing is – that’s how I personally practise self-love. I do my best to tell myself and remind myself as much as possible. If you understand love, then you understand how powerful it can be. And I love myself.

A To me, beauty spans beyond a set of idealised physical attributes. Beauty is a feeling, a perception. Confidence, resilience, strength, empowerment and uniqueness – those things are beautiful.

A At 13, and newly diagnosed with ulcerative colitis – an incurable, chronic bowel condition (something perceived as far from beautiful) – to me, beauty meant having a thigh gap, backcombed hair, 20 layers of mascara and, importantly, whatever other people and the media said was beautiful.

Bowel habits, scars, surgery, non-filtered bodies and a host of other things that I now wear with pride definitely weren’t part of what I envisaged. Over time and through my experiences, my relationship with beauty has changed. Ironically now, without the first half of that list (nothing against them), but with part of my bowel poking out of my tummy, I feel and see more beauty than I ever have in both myself and others.

A Initially, when I had my surgery, I didn’t know what a stoma was, but I was pleased that it was making me feel considerably better. It was actually when I started recognising the stigmas and stereotypes among others that I started to realise my new forever body wasn’t perceived ‘normal’. By which point, I had already started sharing my journey – and recognising how much that it was helping both myself and others, I could only hope that it was helping crush those stigmas, too. Needless to say, I’ve not really looked back since.

Although we have come a long way and made some remarkable moves in terms of broadening perceptions and raising awareness, there are still plenty of present stigmas and stereotypes. We have some way to go. Thank you to the likes of GLAMOUR for playing a part in that journey through sharing such stories and images.

A Health is wealth and health does not have one look. Being healthy and, importantly, happy, comes in many different shapes and sizes. I have realised that what other people think about your body image is least important. How you feel within yourself is what is most important.

A Feeling strong, fit and well enough to do the day-to-day basics – anything extra is a bonus. I think having the ability to do the ‘normal’ day-to-day things stripped from you due to your health makes you realise how much of a privilege the small things (eating, moving, learning, socialising) are. Having strong, healthy and understanding relationships with those around you who can understand and carry you through the tougher times is also really important to me. It’s not always easy for those who’ve not been through something similar to understand that, some days; it’s not that you don’t want to spend time with them, it’s that you physically can’t.

A By understanding that neither physical or mental health are linear journeys. Learning to accept that has been a big thing for me. I like to stay active, stay in routine, continue learning new things and, importantly, but easier said than done, listen to my body.

A “Beyond every cloud, there is a rainbow” – there are good days and there are not-so-good days. Some days are just days. But that’s OK, that’s normal. Just know that beyond it all, you – as you are – are enough. You are worthy (*as much of a reminder to myself as it is to you reading this).

A Beauty to me is internal. It’s self-acceptance and what lies in your soul and heart. It’s realising that society’s detrimental, unrealistic, constantly changing ideas of beauty standards is what’s ugly and not you! Beauty is what you want it to be. It’s your choice.

A My relationship with beauty has definitely had a dramatic change over the years. At 16, I used makeup and baggy clothing to hide my chronic skin condition, and felt unworthy and underrepresented. But fast forward to the present day, I’ve realised that society’s beauty will never be representative of all of us; there are too many inherited deep-rooted issues that continue to divide us and constantly have us comparing ourselves to each other. Realising this, I decided to be the representation that me and so many others alike needed.

A I think for me, the biggest challenge was my own limited perception of myself. I was almost looking at myself in a clouded mirror. No matter how much the people around me told me I was beautiful, I just couldn’t seem to see past the fog. Getting rid of that inner voice always eating away at me at the back of my head was definitely a struggle. I still find days where the voice seems to claw its way back to the forefront of my mind, but it’s something I continue to work on.

In terms of other people respecting my beauty, it’s still an on-going challenge I face today, with society so under the gaze of a system built to divide us and make use feel unworthy. I think people seeing me challenge this and gain confidence in not being society’s beauty ideal, I get unwarranted and vile comments daily. From people telling me I look like a burns victim, to constantly telling me I look 60 when I’m 27 years old. But I refuse to be a victim of harassment and online bullying; just because I am a public figure doesn’t warrant people to be allowed to just say and do whatever they want to others. I am unapologetically myself and I will not be sorry about it.

A The world has become overly obsessed with our outer appearance. Every few years, there is a new ‘ideal’ body type. Back in the ’90s it was beautiful to be slim, have a small ass and light skin. Now? It’s completely the opposite, with people altering their bodies to have curvy shapes and a caramel complexion. We can’t keep changing the way our bodies naturally are every other decade. It’s a tragedy we are made to feel disgusted when we look at ourselves.

So for me, my relationship with body image has definitely changed for the better – being self-accepting that my natural petite body will never look like the models portrayed all over the media; getting rid of the view that we should all look the same and behave the same way; knowing individuality is where it is at; and seeing the beauty that my body is just a vessel here to keep me ‘alive and thriving’ has helped me so much with my relationship to my body.

A Being healthy to me not only means taking care of our bodies physically, but mentally and socially as well. It’s not just getting rid of disease or “abnormalities”. Being healthy means different things to different people. There is not one right answer. It’s the steps you take in your life to care for a better you. Whether that is through food, exercise, gaining knowledge on how to live a better lifestyle, finding happiness and togetherness with others in a community or taking care of your mental wellbeing. They all go hand-in-hand for me towards being a “healthier” person.

A When it comes to my mental and physical health, keeping on top of these is not necessarily my strongest suit; I definitely still struggle to find a good balance for myself. I’m still learning how to cope on my down days, but have realised that there are certain things I can do throughout the day to get me through. For example, even though exercise for me is a whole other world, by taking walks during this pandemic – and making sure I achieve a certain number of steps through the day – I know I am keeping my muscles active and working, and I don’t need a full-on exercise plan.

Mentally, I have found comfort in meditating and deep-breathing exercises. I suffer a lot from depression and anxiety, and these little 10-20 minute breaks in my day or before I go to bed help me re-centre myself and gain clarity. I also find a lot of comfort in just speaking to and being in the presence of my closest friends. It doesn’t always have to be me venting and spilling my heart out to them, just having a laugh and being together helps – and even though I haven’t been able to do this as well through the pandemic, knowing they are a FaceTime call away still significantly comforts me.

A Honestly, self-love comes from within. No one can make you love yourself, but you. No one can want you loving yourself more than you want it. RuPaul once said, “If they ain’t paying your bills, pay them bitches no mind.” I fully live by this and the fact that other people’s perception of you has nothing to do with you. It’s none of your business, that’s their problem, and they have to deal with it; you carry on living your unpressed, thriving life. Find comfort in a community that represents you and understands you the way people in your main life may not.

I’ve also realised that self-love means understanding and allowing yourself to go through your emotions, whether it’s happy, sad or angry. Allow the time for you and your body to process it, instead of burying it in the ground. Let yourself cry. Crying is a massive release of self-love to me, because you need to and must let it out for your body and mind to continue. Just manifesting self-love is not enough, either, you have to actively try to make your life better and actually put the work in. I know people say the world doesn’t revolve around you, but your world does revolve around you – and you have to make that world around you a better place, not only for yourself, but for others before and after you.