It’s turtle time, friends.
The Real Housewives franchise has given us so much over the years, from iconic fights to legendary vacations to line after line of Housewife-approved products. But perhaps the best gift they’ve given is their quotes, often accompanied by GIFs that have become universal ways of expressing ourselves on the internet.
We’ve taken a look back through the years and compiled a list of some of the best, most quotable lines from all the Real Housewives cities, from clapbacks to jokes to lines that made you say “What the f*&!?” and then rewind to be astonished all over again. (Prostitution Whore!)
You’re gonna want to scroll on down to see the quotes that made our list, and if you’ve got an issue with it, just be cool. Don’t be all, like, uncool.
It’s a big weekend for all of the Real Housewives, as BravoCon begins tomorrow in New York City with appearances by 88 stars (and former stars) of the network and more than 50 events, with Andy Cohen presiding over many festivities. Watch What Happens Live will film its biggest episode ever, with more stars than ever on the stage at the same time, on Friday night, and you can bet there will be some reminiscing over some of the biggest franchise moments, including a few of those listed below!
Bravo
Dorinda Medley, Real Housewives of New York City
“I’ll tell you how I’m doing: Not well, bitch!”
Dorinda Medley is a whole mood.
Nino Munoz/Bravo
Caroline Manzo, Real Housewives of New Jersey
“You’re a clown.” and “When I called you garbage, I meant that you were garbage.”
Caroline Manzo’s final meeting with Danielle Staub (until the reunion) ended with some magical words and their delivery was spot on.
Bravo
Sheree Whitfield, Real Housewives of Atlanta
“Who gon’ check me, boo?”
There is really nothing to say about this one. You know this one. It speaks for itself.
Bravo
NeNe Leakes, Real Housewives of Atlanta
“So nasty and so rude.”
Has somebody wronged you? Don’t like their behavior? NeNe’s reunion line instantly became a hit, it even made it into her tagline for the following season. Here’s the GIF for your needs.
BRAVO
Briana Culberson, Real Housewives of Orange County
“He told me that his nickname was Girth Brooks.”
DISGUSTING. Briana said Brooks Ayers, her mother’s ex-boyfriend who fabricated cancer treatment documents, hit on her while she was super pregnant and at Vicki’s birthday party. Briana said he wanted to show her his penis and revealed his nickname…
Bravo
Yolanda Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
“Who is Adrienne Maloof in this world?”
Well, who is she?
Bravo
Ramona Singer, Real Housewives of Orange County
“It’s Turtle Time.”
Booze + Ramona = Classic lines. Another Scary Island moment that is now synonymous with getting your drank on.
Bravo
Bethenny Frankel, Real Housewives of New York City
“Get off my jock.”
Bethenny’s catchphrase from RHONY season seven when she felt cornered.
Bravo
Ramona Singer, Real Housewives of New York City
“Calm down! Take a Xanax!”
This was prompted by Aviva Drescher’s vacation breakdown, but it’s really appropriate for anytime you’re around somebody who is being super dramatic.
Rachel Murray/Getty Images for Life & Style
Kim Richards, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
“You’re a slut pig!”
Early Kim Richards on RHOBH provided some fascinating lines, including this insult hurled at Brandi Glanville when the sisters Richards were united.
Bravo
Jill Zarin, Real Housewives of New York City
“Surprrriiiissseeeeee, Hiiiii!”
Just when Scary Island couldn’t get any more dramatic, Jill Zarin showed up and shocked everybody. Her arrival caused Alex McCord to have a breakdown, Bethenny Frankel sat in silence and a rift between Ramona Singer and Jill was formed. Classic.
Bravo
NeNe Leakes, Real Housewives of Atlanta
“Bye wig!”
Once upon a time NeNe and Kim did not get along. NeNe started referring to Kim as “wig” for obvious reasons and it has become an important part of our pop culture lexicon, naturally.
Mathieu Young/Bravo
Luann de Lesseps, Real Housewives of New York City
Luann de Lesseps: “You came in, in your Herman Munster shoes…”
Alex McCord: “They’re Louis Vuitton.”
Luann: “Well, even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes.”
Alex McCord came down the stairs in Morocco like a buffalo, according to Luann, but the real gold came when they sat down to discuss their issues. Do you own a pair of Herman Munster shoes?
Bravo
Bethenny Frankel, Real Housewives of New York City
“GO TO SLEEP!”
Scary Island gave viewers so much, including Bethenny Frankel shouting at Kelly Bensimon—who was having a moment of some kind—to go to sleep. GO TO SLEEP!
Bravo
Kelly Bensimon, Real Housewives of New York City
“OK, satchels of gold.”
??? And jellybeans for all.
Bravo
Danielle Staub, Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Pay attention, puh-lease.”
The moment that started it all. It being Teresa Giudice’s freakout over the book and Danielle Staub in general.
Bravo
Teresa Giudice, Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Prostitution whore!”
OK, really Teresa’s whole table flip speech should be here, because it’s a work of art, this is just the most obvious choice. But for your own enjoyment: “I am paying attention! Obviously there has to be something else. It’s just not name change and arrested. There has to be something else. Are you stripping? You were stripping. Prostitution whore! You were f—king engaged 19 times! You f—king stupid bitch!”
Paul Drinkwater/Bravo
Tamra Judge, Real Housewives of Orange County
“You are psychotic, Jesus Jugs!”
Before Tamra Judge found religion, she called Alexis Bellino this wonderful name at a RHOC reunion.
Bravo
Sonja Morgan, Real Housewives of New York City
“What are you doing here without Dorinda?”
What is anybody doing at Beautique without Dorinda? It’s the only reason to go to Beautique. Sonja Morgan spotted Dorinda Medley’s man, John, there without her and, well, confronted him. The rest is history.
NBCUniversal
NeNe Leakes, Real Housewives of Atlanta
“I am very rich, bitch.”
She’s got that Trump check, guys.
Charles Sykes/Bravo
Teresa Giudice, Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Is ‘bitch’ better?”
Teresa Giudice called Danielle Staub honey, which Danielle had an issue with. Naturally. And Teresa’s from Paterson. Don’t you forget.
Bravo
NeNe Leakes, Real Housewives of Atlanta
“Close your legs to married men.”
Words to live by.
Bravo
Luann de Lesseps, Real Housewives of New York City
“Be cool. Don’t be all, like…uncool.”
Instantly iconic the moment viewers got a glimpse of this scene in the trailer. Luann even made a song about it. Sort of. Acceptable to use when your friends are being drama queens.
Stay tuned to E! News for the lastest from BravoCon this weekend!
Bravo and E! are both part of the NBC Universal family.
