Six 'ingredients' for a successful marriage – and it's not all about love

When it comes to relationships, each one is very different.

Despite this, there are several steps we can all take to try and make our romantic relationships healthier and ensure they last longer.

One couple recently revealed they’ve taken some of these steps and created a concise set of rules that have allowed them to experience marital success.

And now they’re sharing their relationship recipe with the people of the internet, in the hopes of helping other men and women improve their marriages.

Marriage can be difficult, but there are some things you can do to make it easier (stock photo)


Ryan Stephens, the creator of Dialed In Men, posted his and his wife Alaina’s six rules for being a “good teammate” to each other in their marriage.

His posts quickly went viral on Twitter garnering thousands of likes and retweets and hundreds of comments.

He wrote: “My wife and I have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for marital success.

“Here’s a quick thread on the six rules we try to follow to be a good teammate to each other in our marriage.”


The couple’s first rule is not to bad mouth your partner to other people.

Ryan explained: “No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you. It’s one thing to joke with friends about something trivial and quite another to demean your spouse’s character.

“Know the difference and always discuss the latter with your spouse and no one else.”

Their second rule is all about communication, as obviously, we can’t actually read our partner’s mind – even if they think we can.

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Ryan recommends over communicating, never assuming that the other person knows what you meant and giving the benefit of the doubt when miscommunication occurs.

The third rule is all about trying new things together.

He writes: “Trying new things gets an individual out of their comfort zone and is often easier as a couple, allowing you to both grow stronger together.”

Next, he emphasises the importance of celebrating wins and encouraging the other person.

The husband suggests: “Bring home champagne after a promotion at work, back each other up when engaging in that battle with your heathen toddler, work out together, etc.”


For the fifth rule, the focus is on being grateful for the other person and their contributions, be it “money, time, chores, childcare” or anything else.

Ryan says: “No one contribution is greater than another and don’t keep score.

“If you truly value each other’s input then the scorecard shouldn’t (and doesn’t matter).”

And last but not least the couple’s sixth rule is simply to trust and respect each other – especially in front of other people.


He adds: “Marriage, or any long-term relationship is not all about love and romance.

“It’s about working at it day in and day out. It’s about choosing your partner every day.”

People on Twitter were incredibly moved by the couple’s rules and were quick to tell them so.

One person wrote: “Well said!”

Another commented: “I love all the pointers, so true I can attest to this in my marriage. It’s so important to over communicate to avoid hidden assumptions which kills a lot of relationships.”

“Solid list,” added a third.

If you’d like to read more of Ryan and Alaina’s wisdom, you can check out their website here.

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