I can’t take full credit of this letter to GC as the idea came to me after watching a YouTube video suggesting that the next instalment of Mario Kart should/could feature the ‘Ultimate’ moniker, akin to the new Smash Bros. proclaiming ‘Everyone is here!’
Now the said video suggested all past racers and tracks should be included, which I think is great but at the same time just as Smash Bros. has transcended into something that celebrates video gaming icons in general I think it’d be a triumphant return for the racer if we had ‘A New Racer Revs Their Engine!’ approach to the series.
As my niece debated “It wouldn’t be Super Mario Kart then would it?” And I agree, but it would be Mario Kart Ultimate!
Let’s put our foot down and do away with all the sub-par clones by strapping everybody in just as Smash Bros has done, Solid Snake, Pikachu, Zelda, Samus, Rayman, Master Chief (Microsoft, c’mon now, stop playing with our emotions, he can have a Warthog and Mongoose as a motorbike equivalent) the return of Donkey Kong Jr. (hey, he’s an original!), Sonic of course, that nasty Crash Bandicoot everybody seems to love bar me (boy would I have some imaginative insults for him and his rubber-banding exploits I’ve kept reserved for my regular and frequent co-racers since the beginning of time, language I’ve used to describe my beloved gaming characters would make Conker blush!). Talking of Conker, throw him into the mix too, I’d welcome them all with open arms AND a red shell!
Hell, let’s see Captain Falcon in a Kart, it’s not like he uses the Blue Falcon so much anymore. That futuristic hover car is better placed in a classic car museum these days!
Let’s keep this mascot massacre alive, I’d buy paid DLC to light up half of these washed up has-beens with a well-timed lightning strike and add insult to injury as I pass by flipping them the death stare after squashing them flat!
See you in the pit lane, Pit!
Hasta la vista Bubsy the Wombat!
Second place is first loser MagiKoopa!
That reminds me, where has Birdo been hiding all these years…
Bad Edit
