Football

From deep fried pizzas to a s**t Tesco sandwich, we celebrate the return of football by revealing the UK’s best chants


IT’S just ten days until English footie is back on our screens as the Premier League returns.

But with all games being behind closed doors, fans will have to make do with simulated crowd noises supplied by TV broadcasters.

 The Premier League returns to our screens in just ten days time and we reveal some of footie’s best chants

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The Premier League returns to our screens in just ten days time and we reveal some of footie’s best chantsCredit: AFP

To celebrate our nation’s great ability to devise a witty chant, we reveal some of footie’s best . . .

Walsall

 Walsall fans watch the match from the stands at Forest Green

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Walsall fans watch the match from the stands at Forest GreenCredit: Rex Features

WALSALL supporters poked fun at an injured Forest Green Rovers player rolling around on the ground.

Forest Green is the Football League’s “greenest” ground and all food sold at the stadium is plant-based.

“That vegan b*****d, he’s eating our grass.”

Ipswich Town

 Away fans had a pop when Ipswich Town goalkeeper Dean Gerken was deemed at fault for a goal

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Away fans had a pop when Ipswich Town goalkeeper Dean Gerken was deemed at fault for a goalCredit: Action Images – Reuters

AWAY FANS had a dig when Ipswich Town goalkeeper Dean Gerken was deemed at fault for a goal and chanted . . .

“Stayed in a burger. You should have stayed in a burger.”

Man City

 Man City’s crowd mock their own ground which rarely sells out with a chant to the Beautiful South’s Rotterdam

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Man City’s crowd mock their own ground which rarely sells out with a chant to the Beautiful South’s RotterdamCredit: Getty – Contributor

MAN CITY’s crowd like to mock their own ground, which rarely sells out, with a chant to the Beautiful South’s Rotterdam.

“We’ve been to Rotterdam and Monaco,

“Napoli and Rome,

“We’ve still got blue empty seats,

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“Empty seats at hooooome,

“Empty seat at home.”

Chelsea

 Chelsea fans have dubbed their Spanish captain Cesar Azpilicueta’s Dave as they cannot pronounce his name

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Chelsea fans have dubbed their Spanish captain Cesar Azpilicueta’s Dave as they cannot pronounce his nameCredit: Getty Images – Getty

CHELSEA supporters struggle to pronounce their Spanish captain Cesar Azpilicueta’s name.

“We’ll just call him Dave, We’ll just call him Daa-aave.

“Az-pili-cueta. We’ll just call him Dave.”

West Ham

 Newcastle’s Jonjo Shelvey was called the double of Harry Potter’s nemesis Lord Voldermort by West Ham fans

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Newcastle’s Jonjo Shelvey was called the double of Harry Potter’s nemesis Lord Voldermort by West Ham fansCredit: Reuters

WEST HAM fans thought Newcastle’s Jonjo Shelvey is a double for Harry Potter’s nemesis Lord Voldermort.

“Harry Potter, he’s coming for you.”

France and Man City

 France and Man City defender Sylvain Distin has been the subject of taunts by away fans after having a fling with a blonde

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France and Man City defender Sylvain Distin has been the subject of taunts by away fans after having a fling with a blondeCredit: PA:Press Association

AWAY FANS’ taunt to France and Man City defender Sylvain Distin after we reported he had a three-year fling with a blonde woman while claiming to be a milkman.

“He’s up at half four, he’s up at half four, oh Sylvain Distin he’s up at half four.”

Everton

 Brazillian star Richarlison of Everton — 'He only cost £50million'

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Brazillian star Richarlison of Everton — ‘He only cost £50million’Credit: Rex Features

EVERTON’S Richarlison de Andrade may never have heard of She’s Electric by Oasis until his fans invented this song about him.

“He’s Brazilian, He only cost £50million, And we think he’s f***ing brilliant . . . Richarlison.”

Scotland

 Scotland’s Tartan Army mockingly threatened Italy fans when they played them away

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Scotland’s Tartan Army mockingly threatened Italy fans when they played them awayCredit: PA:Press Association

SCOTLAND’s Tartan Army mockingly threatened Italy fans when they played them away.

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“Deep fry yer pizzas, We’re gonna deep fry yer pizzas.”

Forest Green Rovers

 Dagenham goalkeeper Elliot Justham was taunted about his name

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Dagenham goalkeeper Elliot Justham was taunted about his nameCredit: Rex Features

FOREST GREEN ROVERS taunted Dagenham goalkeeper Elliot Justham about his name.

“You’re just a s**t Tesco sandwich.”

Derby County

 Derby County fans had a funny take on the Spurs song about star striker Harry Kane

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Derby County fans had a funny take on the Spurs song about star striker Harry KaneCredit: PA:Press Association

DERBY COUNTY fans had a funny take on the Spurs song “He’s one of our own” about star striker Harry Kane after fielding a team made up largely of borrowed players.

“He’s one of our loans, he’s one of our loans . . .”

Everton

 Everton fans have struggled to pronounce Russian star Diniyar Bilyaletdinov's name

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Everton fans have struggled to pronounce Russian star Diniyar Bilyaletdinov’s nameCredit: Getty Images – Getty

EVERTON fans about its former Russian star Diniyar Bilyaletdinov.

“He’s quick, he’s tame, we can’t pronounce his name, Russian lad, Russian lad!”

Premier League TV fixtures announced as Man Utd visit Tottenham and Man City host Arsenal



 





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