A DAD has posted a hilarious take on his daughter’s school newsletter by sharing his own version online.
Paul Callan, a doctor from Manchester, joked his little girl would end up “needing a PA” thanks to the long list of requests, dates and reminders included in the weekly newsletter.
3
Posting on a parenting group on Facebook, he shared his own spoof version, writing: “Do other schools send out weekly newsletters like this? I’ve had to hire a PA for my daughter.
“Dear Parents, a reminder that on Monday the children are asked to wear coloured contact lenses to raise awareness of the critically endangered Guatemalan colour blind tree gecko. Please bring a £1 donation.
“Tuesday is the start of Medieval Ruins Awareness month. Please bring a 1:8 scale model of your child’s favourite 11th century Roman fortress.
“Don’t forget your £1 donation to support our Historical Reenactment society.
3
“On Wednesday Mr Bachelor, head of PHSE, will be trying to eat as many cup-a-soups as he can in an hour to raise money to repair the roof of the sports hall, which was damaged during last year’s Hog Roast for the Hard of Hearing. Please bring a £1 donation.”
The dad went on to joke that the kids had been making Christmas pictures, perfect for relatives “who bought them slime” last year.
“The children have been busy making Christmas pictures out of felt and glitter,” he continued.
“These half-finished abominations can be printed onto a tea towel (£17) or mouse mat (£13).
“They would make wonderful gifts for any relatives who thought it would be a good idea to buy your child a slime making kit as a present last year.
“If we have any budding Paul Hollywoods or Prue Leiths amongst the parents, it would be a great help if you could make 50-100 gluten-free, nut-free, diabetic-friendly mince pies for the upcoming Christmas Fair.
“If not, you can still help by donating any unwanted tickets for an all-inclusive family holiday for four, or a nearly new Ford Fiesta for the tombola.
“We are aware of the stresses and strains of modern family life. That’s why we have started mindfulness and meditation sessions for parents starting this Friday at 5.30am in the school hall.
“Due to an administrative oversight, you will share the hall with the Year 6 British Bulldog taster session.
“Please bring a helmet and shinpads, as well as your £1 donation. Have a great week!”
3
And other parents could certainly relate, with several finding it hilarious.
One wrote: “I wish they had just said in September – give us £50 and we will leave you alone.”
While another commented: “And also if you just deposit your life savings into our account we would massively appreciate it.”
One mum pointed out: “You forgot the awful school photos for £125!”
Can you relate to this?
In other parenting news, we told you one mum was outraged after restaurant staff brand her two-year-old daughter ‘terrifying’ on her bill.
We also revealed one mum asks if it’s okay to feed 22-month-old pizza for breakfast insisting it’s no different to cheese and tomato on toast.
And we showed you how one ‘lazy’ mum-of-six says she only bathes her kids three times a week and lets them eat with their hands.
