England v India: first Test, day one – live!

13th over: India 21-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 9) Another maiden for Robinson, who gets just enough movement to trouble good players. But still no breakthrough, so the day belongs unmistakably to India, who skittled England and then showed them how to see off the new ball. The only thing India couldn’t manage was a decent over rate: we’ve lost half an hour’s entertainment. But, thanks to England’s feeble selection and flagrant rust, the game has moved along at pace.

Here’s Gary Naylor on Twitter. “England won’t know if Tom Haines, Jake Libby and (especially) Kiran Carlson are Test batsmen unless we give them a chance. Feels like it’s becoming a bit of an Old Boys’ Club.”

It’s a good shout… but not good enough – going down. England lose a review.

12th over: India 21-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 9) Here is Curran, with his bustling left-arm swing, his Phil Foden hair, and that look on his face that we saw earlier. His full length tempts Rahul twice outside off – first with a wide one, then with a beauty in the channel. That’s a maiden, but India survive and now there’s only five minutes left in the day.

11th over: India 21-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 9) Robinson certainly knows how to seal up an end. He finally concedes a run as Rahul works one to leg.

“It feels like I’m re-watching some Tests from the past,” says Arthur Graves, “where only Mike Atherton was scoring and everyone else had an early lunch appointment. Why does Chris Silverwood have all the jobs? Weren’t England paying him enough to do just the coaching?”

10th over: India 20-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 8) It’s still Broad, even though he’s the same kind of bowler as Robinson. Get Curran on!

9th over: India 19-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 7) More dots, from Robinson to Rohit. There’s an LBW appeal off the last ball, but it’s above the pad, never mind the knee roll. Come on England, bowl a yorker.

8th over: India 19-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 7) Broad stays on and strings together some dots, but the score keeps ticking over with a no-ball and a leg bye.

“As a Glawster boy,” says Matt Winter, “and having screamed for two years for James Bracey to get a run in the side, I now think he’s in the best possible place i.e. nowhere near Silverwood or this.”

7th over: India 17-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 7) A bowling change! Joe Root, who sometimes seems to be in thrall to the old firm, replaces Anderson with a younger model, Ollie Robinson. He starts with a maiden and very nearly persuades Rahul to offer a nick as he flails at a short ball.

A tweet from Ben Gardner of Wisden. “England’s 183,” he says, “is the highest score made on Sky Sports THE HUNDRED so far.” Ha.

6th over: India 17-0 (Rohit 9, Rahul 7) Rohit has a waft at Broad, then waits for something full and eases it past cover with his usual elegance. “Don’t bowl there to him,” says Dinesh Karthik. “Not many better in the world.” Broad, for all his lift and movement, has yet to bowl a single ball that would have hit the stumps.

5th over: India 13-0 (Rohit 5, Rahul 7) Anderson beats Rahul with a beauty, swinging like a suburban couple in the Seventies. But the next ball, also swinging away, is square-driven for four.

4th over: India 8-0 (Rohit 4, Rahul 3) Broad is bending his back. He extracts some sharp lift off a length, beating Rohit’s bat and eluding Buttler’s grab.

“Is anyone else who is listening to TMS,” wonders Peter Salmon, “finding it particularly cruel that the best batsman in England is doing the commentary for this schemozzle?” Ha. The Chef has his uses, but the best batsman in England, for the past couple of years, has been Ben Stokes.

3rd over: India 7-0 (Rohit 4, Rahul 3) After that insolent early four, what Anderson wants is a maiden. And he gets it.

“Look, this Silverwood thing, it”s a joke,” splutters Richard Rawlings. “There were four England ducks in the innings. Four. Who is going to pay money to watch this rabid game from England? The management need cleaning out. Why do we have to say this? Boycott could do a better job. If there are too many cricket venues through the year, rethink the game. But to sell this kind of performance and preparation as entertainment is a scam.”

2nd over: India 7-0 (Rohit 4, Rahul 3) Stuart Broad is grunting and reaching 86mph, but KL Rahul is equal to it, steering through the covers for three.

I’ve been too busy to look at Twitter, so apologies if your tweet has gone unnoticed. Here’s one from Guy Hornsby. “This is going predictably down the toilet,” he reckons. “As others have said, playing 6 batters is all well and good until they get out cheaply. And with a scoring rate so slow, when that happens you’re toast. It’s utterly mad that so many haven’t played red-ball cricket for weeks.” It is. Even in the squad that they picked, they could have plumped for Haseeb Hameed, who’s just made a hundred against the Indian bowlers, and Jack Leach, who got a six-for against Surrey in July.

1st over: India 4-0 (Rohit 4, Rahul 0) The ball Jimmy has in his hands is a deep red, like a glass of Malbec – at last, an England selection nobody can argue with. It swings right away and draws the edge, but Rohit Sharma manages to angle it past gully for four.

The players are out there and it’s going to be Jimmy Anderson, aged 39, in his 163rd Test, to take the new ball. He may be a slightly grumpy old man.

“How long,” asks Andrew Moreman, “before we realise the folly of Chris Silverwood as coach, manager, selector? Seems he is bringing the excellence of the 90s back. Four seamers, brittle batting, slow scoring, questionable tactics, crushing series defeats. All great stuff!”

That was an innings of two halves. For about 50 overs, England played Test cricket and managed to make it to 138 for 3. Then they played skittles and scraped 45 for 7, most of them to the admirably undaunted Sam Curran.

Bumrah finished with 4 for 46, Shami 3 for 28, so they grabbed 7 for 74, while the two fringe seamers, Siraj and Thakur, chipped in with 3 for 89 between them and Jadeja’s spin was barely needed. England’s decision to play seven batsmen and only four bowlers appears to have gone horribly wrong, but you never know until both sides have had a go.

Next ball, Bumrah gets the yorker bang on – base of off stump. Bowling, India.

A yorker from Bumrah smacks Jimmy on the boot, then hits the bat… but was it missing leg? It was!

65th over: England 183-9 (Curran 27, Anderson 1) Back comes Shami, and he’s got a full over at Anderson – who keeps him out, then shovels a single into the on side. He gets the biggest cheer accorded to anyone on 1 not out since Jack Leach’s finest hour. Curran, with only one ball to face, steps away and carves a lofted drive over the covers. He’s playing like the No 7 he should have been on the scorecard.

“Reasons to be cheerful,” says Brian Withington, channelling Ian Dury. “Before we all drown in English despair and displaced self-loathing, it’s perhaps worth recalling that this is a very fine Indian attack exploiting favourable conditions with considerable skill. And you’d need a heart of stone not to chuckle at Stuart Broad’s LBW, as Oscar Wilde might have said.” Ha, true. But, with no Ishant or Ashwin, it’s only a very fine new-ball pair, isn’t it?

64th over: England 178-9 (Curran 23, Anderson 0) Curran can’t nick a single off Bumrah’s last ball – but he can make room to cream it through the covers.

“Wow,” says Andrew Benton, “I just went out to eat a sandwich and wander aimlessly as a cloud for a few minutes, and it’s all over bar the India walkover victory. Would it do any good to call for Silverwood to depart immediately? England need new management, it’s all too cosy. If this were the Premiership, they’d have had a new manager in sharpish back in the early summer. Time to get him out?”

63rd over: England 174-9 (Curran 19, Anderson 0) Curran turns down a single, then makes room and lofts Thakur over midwicket for four. Come the fifth ball, he has a heave and almost gives a chance to third man. Anderson gets bat on ball for the first time, going back to block a short ball. Soon he’ll be reminding his partner that his highest score in Tests is the higher of the two.

“This is when England grasp the bull by the horns,” says Tom van der Gucht, “and wrestle the initiative back with a swashbuckling counter-attacking century from Curran. It’s about time he got to three figures.”

62nd over: England 169-9 (Curran 14, Anderson 0) Curran again steals a single off the last ball of the over – only to find that it’s a no-ball. But this time Bumrah’s yorker is outside off, so Anderson survives.

“What on earth is going on?” asks Christopher Pickles, channelling Fred Trueman. “How can it be that a Test match cricketer hasn’t faced a ball in

proper
red ball cricket… in August!”

61st over: England 167-9 (Curran 13, Anderson 0) So England are down to Sammy and Jimmy – and Sammy decides it’s time to have some fun. He goes down the track to Thakur and slogs him for six. Then he tries again and misses, but you can’t have everything. The last ball is a bouncer, and he manages to flip it for a single to keep the strike. There’s an old head behind that young face.

“I can’t be the only person,” says Simon Lacey, “who thinks that England’s batting woes could be solved by slotting in the women’s top order – they seem to have a bit of oomph about them. Obviously this would involve a lot of Life of Brian false beards and comedy gruff voices but it might work. Worth it anyway, to see Sophie Ecclestone trudging past, Joe Root slung across her shoulders, and grumbling ‘I haven’t got time to go to no cricket, he’s not well again’.” That’s a better plan than the one with which England went into this Test.

60th over: England 160-9 (Curran 6, Anderson 0) The only thing standing between England and ignominy is the look on Sam Curran’s face. He keeps Bumrah out, somehow, and squirts a single off the fifth ball to give Broad just one delivery to face. One too many, as it turns out.

A yorker, swinging away. That is a very plumb plumb, as Ralph Fiennes would say. So plumb that not even Broad is going to review it.

59th over: England 159-8 (Curran 5, Broad 4) From the moment when Bairstow fell, England lost five wickets for 17 in 51 balls. “This is hard to watch,” says Andrew Strauss. But here comes Stuart Broad, raising a cheer from his home crowd, having a go – and square-driving his first ball for four.

The procession continues! Ollie Robinson, who batted so well in his first Test, plays a half-hearted pull and gives a simple catch to mid-on.

The big one! Thakur finds some lavish swing on leg stump, and Root doesn’t bother to review.

58th over: England 155-6 (Root 64, Curran 5) Curran has that look on his face, like the kid trying the hardest in the Under-10s. He nicks Bumrah, but safely, and he gets four. The lights are on and the ball is swinging, but when he’s beaten, the ball thuds into his pad.

57th over: England 151-6 (Root 64, Curran 1) Sam Curran, like Bairstow and Buttler, is playing his first red-ball game of the summer, but unlike them he won’t go into his shell. He gets off the mark with a quick single, which hands the strike back to Root, who pulls Siraj off his nose for four. That brings up the 150, and the crowd respond with a chorus of Joe Root, to the tune of Hey Jude.

56th over: England 145-6 (Root 59, Curran 0) So Burns, Lawrence and Buttler have made 0 between them.

“I’m not sure it is the ‘ploy’ of playing 6 batsmen that is going wrong,” says El Nombre on Twitter. “That is what you should do, it’s the techniques of the ones picked.” I know what you mean, but it’s still the wrong policy. England have lots of good bowlers and hardly any Test batsmen. This selection plays to their weakness.

Well, it’s been coming. Bumrah’s outswinger draws the edge and puts Buttler out of his misery as he goes at the ball with hard white-ball hands. That was one of the worst innings you’ll ever see from such a gifted player.

55th over: England 144-5 (Root 58, Buttler 0) Root takes a single, which at least gets Buttler up the other end – but he still can’t buy a run. He has now faced 15 balls.

54th over: England 143-5 (Root 57, Buttler 0) Buttler, like Bairstow, comes into the Test without having faced a single red ball this season, and it’s showing. He plays and misses at Bumrah, then slices close to backward point, then misses a yorker, which somehow avoids the stumps – maybe it just felt sorry for him.

53rd over: England 143-5 (Root 57, Buttler 0) Root sees a half-volley from Shami and conjures some defiance with a square drive for four.

“Hello from Trent Bridge,” says Marv. “Poor approach from England all day I’m afraid, at no point have they sought to dominate the bowling attack (change bowlers in particular), despite the pitch not having any misbehaviour in it. This safety-first approach means Jos is pretty much our last hope of scoring more than 200. At least 100 short of par on this pitch.” I quite agree that they’ve been too defensive – starting with the selection – but I’m not so sure about the pitch. Hasn’t it offered the bowlers plenty?

52nd over: England 139-5 (Root 53, Buttler 0) Jos Buttler plays and misses as Bumrah angles one in and gets it to straighten off the seam. Suddenly India are all over England like a rash.

51st over: England 138-5 (Root 52, Buttler 0) Two wickets in the over for Shami. After a morning of mostly unrewarded excellence, that’s karma.

One brings two! Dan Lawrence falls over to the off side and gets a nick down leg. England’s ploy of playing six batsmen has gone wrong already.

Yes, three reds, as a full delivery thumped into the pads: another good call from the master of the Late Review, and Bairstow pays the price for the tweak to his technique that had him covering his off stump.

That’s tea, with England wobbling again after a fine partnership of 72, and Shami enjoying a cuppa with the well-deserved figures of 2-18 off 13.2 overs. As so often, England are relying rather too heavily on Joe Root getting a big one.

Another of those last-second decisions from Kohli. Could be out if there’s no nick…

50th over: England 137-3 (Root 51, Bairstow 29) Three singles off Bumrah’s over, plus a no-ball.

A push into the off side and Root jogs to his half-century, his first for six Tests – the longest drought in a fruitful career. It’s been a mixture of juicy fours, clunky chips and streaky edges: he’s been seeing off weeks of rust as well as some good bowling.

49th over: England 133-3 (Root 49, Bairstow 28) Siraj is in the doghouse after that 4-4-2, so Shami is back. He was too good to be successful this morning, repeatedly swinging the ball past the outside edge. Bairstow is watchful but picks up two with another clip off the pads. He’s looking comfortable now.

48th over: England 131-3 (Root 49, Bairstow 26) Bumrah is still getting that sharp movement back into the right-handers and it almost does for Root as he inside-edges just past the leg bail. Haven’t seen any stats, but I suspect Root’s false-shot percentage has been unusually high for him.

47th over: England 127-3 (Root 45, Bairstow 26) The real Bairstow stands up! Facing Siraj, he helps himself to a cover drive for four, a straight drive for four more, and a clip for two.

“Hopefully,” says Andrew Benton, “Bairstow is practising the not-getting-out-as-a-prerequisite-to-scoring-runs principle that England so often fail to remember. Fingers crossed.” It’s working for him so far today, and we love to see it, but only two Tests ago it stopped England trying to win a match that was well within their reach.

46th over: England 115-3 (Root 44, Bairstow 16) Kohli takes Thakur off and brings back Jasprit Bumrah, the human catapult. He has Root playing in the air again – that’s how rusty he is – but again the ball lands safely and that’s the fifty partnership, off 112 balls. It’s been vital.

45th over: England 115-3 (Root 44, Bairstow 16) Siraj, who’s been the most generous of India’s four seamers, gives each batsman something on his legs. Root settles for a single; Bairstow sprints back for two.

44th over: England 112-3 (Root 43, Bairstow 14) My telly’s on the blink so I’ve resorted to the radio. Andy Zaltzman pops up to report that this has been Bairstow’s slowest progress to 50 balls in his last 50 Test innings. He’s been unrecognisable from the big-hitting, crowd-pleasing, match-winning captain of Welsh Fire. Maybe, being at No 5, he’s decided to do a Stokes: plod along for five hours or so, then go crazy.

43rd over: England 110-3 (Root 42, Bairstow 13) Jadeja is taken off after just three overs. I hope he’s changing ends – otherwise the over rate will carry on being quite atrocious. Siraj returns, bearing singles.

42nd over: England 107-3 (Root 41, Bairstow 11) Thakur continues, and rightly so as he’s been persuading Root to mistime the ball. The chip shots from the previous over are now joined by a thick inside edge, most un-Root-like. Kohli, sniffing blood, posts a short cover. Root plays and misses at a jaffa, but he’s good enough to bounce back with a dab for two and a crunching square-drive for four. His average in England since May 2018 is only 32: is today going to be the day he does something about that?

41st over: England 101-3 (Root 35, Bairstow 11) And the cut was the only scoring shot off the over. Even with that four, Bairstow has only 11 off 44 balls. Are you Sibley in disguise?

Thanks Tanya, afternoon everyone and hello! Jonny Bairstow plays the shot he missed a few minutes ago, a cut off Jadeja, and that’s the hundred up. Off only 40.2 overs!!

40th over: England 97-3 (Bairstow 7, Root 35) An outswinger dispatched by Root with gentleness through third man for four. And that’s it from me, thanks for all the messages, sorry I haven’t got to them all. Tim de Lisle will lead you home.

39th over: England 93-3 (Bairstow 7, Root 31) A square drive off Jadeja, Root’s back leg stretched to the limit, which freestyles rapidly to the boundary. Then a terrible mix-up as Bairstow has to back-pedal from half way down the pitch going for a second. Let off the hook by a lacklustre throw. And that’s drinks mid-over as Root gets some treatment for something, but seems to be ok now.

“Hello from Trent Bridge,” taps James Wallace, “this Test cricket malarkey is quite absorbing isn’t it?! Not a firework, avatar or excitable commentator to be seen or heard. Sad to see Crawley and Sibley’s barren trots continue, but does give me the opportunity to shamelessly plug this on the OBO for those that might’ve missed it last week. Maybe one or both of them will start to adopt the Botham or Viv Richards approach?”

Ah yes, this is excellent:

38th over: England 87-3 (Bairstow 7, Root 25) Another Root drive, this time off Thakur, but it can’t beat the field and they pick up a couple. A quick single – Root always keeps it ticking over – to polish off the over. Patient accumulation. On the sofa, my dog wags her tail in her sleep.