Michelle Obama is (probably) not going to be the next president
I hope youâre not squeamish, because we are about to journey into the murky depths of the rightwing mind where brain worms abound.
First up is the Republican preoccupation du jour: the Taylor Swift election-interference psyop rumours. According to a recent poll, nearly one in five Americans (and one in three Republicans) believe the pop star is part of an elaborate deep-state conspiracy to help Joe Biden win re-election in 2024. Fox News has naturally helped to amplify those rumours. Last month, host Jesse Watters told viewers that âaround four years ago, the Pentagonâs psychological operations unit floated turning Taylor Swift into an assetâ. (Thereâs no doubt, of course, that Bidenâs team would love Swiftâs extremely valuable endorsement, but chasing celebrity support is not exactly some sort of nefarious plot.)
Despite thinking that Swift is somehow brainwashing us all into getting Biden re-elected, an increasing number of Republicans also seem convinced that Michelle Obama is actually going to be the next president. There have been misogynistic rumblings about this for a while now in conservative circles. Last May, for example, Kurt Schlichter at Townhall said that Republicans are âright to dreadâ the idea that we might see another Obama in the White House. âThe kind of Chardonnay-swilling, overly credentialed and undereducated, sexually unsatisfied suburban wine women who adore Michelle Obama are going to be a key demographic in 2024, and Michelle owns them lock, stock and Häagen-Dazs,â Schlichter proclaimed in a stunningly sexist speech.
Ted Cruz also said last September he thinks the âodds are very significantâ that Biden will be thrown off the ticket at the Democratic national convention this summer and Obama will be parachuted in as the nominee instead. And in January, far-right congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene told The Benny Show she thinks Democrats will try to replace Biden with Obama.
While the 2024 theories have been circulating for a while now, theyâve been supercharged in recent weeks â so much so that theyâre trending and CNN is now debating the rumours.
To be fair, the idea that we might see Michelle Obama in the White House isnât as bonkers as many other rightwing conspiracy theories. Biden, after all, isnât exactly instilling confidence right now. Young voters (and anyone with a conscience) are dismayed that âGenocide Joeâ is giving a blank cheque to Israel as it commits what the International Court of Justice has said is a âplausibleâ genocide in Gaza. An NBC poll from December found that 70% of voters aged 18-34 oppose his Gaza policy, and that has contributed to Bidenâs low approval ratings.
Then thereâs the question of Bidenâs age and mental competency. Earlier this month a report from the justice department characterized the president as an âelderly man with a poor memoryâ who couldnât even recall when his older son, Beau, had died. An outraged Biden defended his memory in a speech spurred by the report ⦠and then immediately confused Mexico with Egypt.
In short: it is certainly plausible that Democrats have considered who they might parachute in to replace Biden if his health forces him from the ballot. Itâs also plausible that Michelle Obamaâs name has been raised as a possibility. After all, there isnât a great list of possible replacements out there, is there? Kamala Harris (who recently told the Wall Street Journal she is âready to serveâ if need be) has terrible approval ratings. Gavin Newsom, the Democratic governor of California, is a possibility, but heâs untested on a national level. The same is true of Gretchen Whitmer, the governor of Michigan, who has been floated as a possible candidate.
But while the idea that we might see Michelle Obama as the nominee is not impossible, itâs incredibly unlikely. Still, you can expect to see Republicans continuing to spout the theory as much as they possibly can because it gives them an opportunity to engage in their two favourite pastimes: being racist and misogynistic.
Elon Musk is tweeting about how âboobs just rockâ
There was once a viral post describing Elon Musk as what happens when the ghost of a 14-year-old boy who died in 2011 and a 19th-century oil baron try to possess the same body. Iâm not sure anything describes the puerile billionaire better. This week he tweeted a meme about how much he loves âboobs,â which follows on from earlier immature jokes heâs made about âtitsâ. Can you imagine being a woman and working for this man? Itâs not surprising his companies are constantly dealing with accusations of sexual harassment.
Greece becomes first Orthodox Christian country to legalize same-sex marriage
While this is a massive step forward, LGBTQ+ groups have also criticized the new law for not going far enough. The bill lets same-sex couples adopt children but only allows single women and straight couples to have access to assisted reproduction, for example.
Single stingrays are doing it (reproduction) for themselves
Charlotte has lived in an aquarium in North Carolina for most of her life and hasnât shared a tank of water with a male of her species in at least eight years. Somehow, however, she is pregnant with four little stingrays. While this may seem confounding to those of us who are not aquatic experts, marine biologists are taking it in their stride. âIâm not surprised,â one research scientist told the Guardian. âNature finds a way of having this happen.â
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Caitlin Clark: the supernova driving womenâs basketball to new heights
The University of Iowa star is smashing records and, says the Guardian, is âfront and center of a boom time that is lifting the womenâs game to uncharted commercial heightsâ.
âIâm so scared, please come!â begged Hind Rajab, a six-year-old Gaza girl
Her pleas for help were recorded on the Palestinian Red Crescent Society switchboard as she was trapped in a car with her dead family, under Israeli fire. Her decomposing body was later found along with the rescuers who had tried to save her. Little Hind is one of more than 28,000 children who have been killed by the relentless Israeli assault on Gaza. Meanwhile, it is estimated that more than 10 children a day lose one or both of their legs during the bombardment. Shame on all the cowardly world leaders shrugging their shoulder as this horror show continues.
Paris mayor launches legal action after being targeted with sexist insults
Anne Hidalgo was targeted with sexist insults and homophobic chants by some Paris Saint-Germain fans during a French league football match.
School uniforms may be barrier to physical activity among younger girls
Thatâs according to a new study by the University of Cambridge. It builds on earlier (fairly obvious) findings that girls feel less comfortable participating in active play if theyâre wearing restrictive clothes like skirts or dresses.
The beekeepers of Sine-Saloum
Al Jazeera has a nice piece on an all-women team tending to the bees that help pollinate a mangrove forest in Senegal.
The week in pawtriarchy
Weâve seen emotional-support dogs, horses, guinea pigs and even alligators. Now meet the âemotional support monkeyâ. A woman in San Antonio recently brought two spider monkeys to a doctorâs appointment at a military clinic. While people have successfully claimed that their monkeys are service animals (one man even flies with his), this particular encounter didnât go well. Turns out the military is not fond of people monkeying around.