Dear Coleen: My wife asked the woman I slept with to come to her birthday party

Dear Coleen

My wife turns 40 in a couple of months and she’s decided she wants to go away with a few friends for a weekend.

My problem is, one of the wives she wants to invite is someone I slept with a couple of years ago when we were both going through a rocky patch in our marriages.

The affair didn’t last very long – we both realised it was just about sex and a bit of excitement and, when that went off the boil, we stopped seeing each other.

My wife went to uni with her husband, so we’ve stayed friends and meet up now and again for dinner or have a Sunday roast with our kids. It’s always fine, but a bit different to being away for the weekend together.

My wife doesn’t know what went on and I don’t want her to find out – she’ll go mad and probably end our marriage.

I’m worried I’ll accidentally give the game away. If it wasn’t her 40th birthday I’d just make some excuse about wanting to go away on our own. Any ideas?

One of the wives she wants to invite is someone I slept with a couple of years ago (file photo)

Coleen says

Well, it’s a bit trickier to wriggle out of because it’s her 40th, but it’s not impossible. Why not suggest you go out with these friends for dinner or have a party, and then book a romantic trip for the two of you somewhere she’s always wanted to go?

I think your mistake (apart from the affair, obviously) was staying close to this couple when you probably should have put some distance between you.

But I guess you were probably paranoid about avoiding them in case your wife smelled a rat!

If your wife really insists on this birthday weekend with other couples, then you might just have to grin and bear it I’m afraid and hope it’s uneventful. The trouble with lying is that it generally catches up with you at some point.

It sounds as if your marriage is back on track so, if you get away with this, make sure you keep making the effort to nurture your marriage and, the next time you hit a rocky patch, don’t fall into someone else’s bed.


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