Health

Dear Coleen: Dad admitted to affair but mum didn’t throw him out



Dear Coleen

I’m a 24-year-old woman and a couple of weeks ago I found out my dad was having an affair with a younger woman, who’s a friend of my mum’s.

I was so shocked because I never had my dad down as that kind of man.

It came out when a friend of mine told me she’d seen them kissing at a Christmas party and I confronted my dad, who admitted everything, including the fact that the affair had been going on for several months.

Since then he’s told my mum, who is completely devastated.

She works hard and blames herself for taking her eye off the ball and being absent so much, which is absolutely ridiculous. He’s the only one to blame here.

I expected her to throw him out, at least until they’d resolved things somehow, but she hasn’t. She says it’s probably a midlife crisis and that he hadn’t been himself for a while.

She also said he’d never done that kind of thing before and they owed it to ­themselves, and to me, to try to work things out.

He’s ended the affair, which is good, but I’m still so angry with him. I’m living at home at the moment, so it’s not easy.

What’s your advice?

Coleen says

I understand you being angry, but it’s your parents’ decision and, ­ultimately, you have to accept that and support them in whatever way you can. I don’t think you getting angry is going to help the situation – it’ll just add even more stress to the mix.

However, I think you should speak to your dad and tell him how you feel. Open up a conversation rather than letting these destructive emotions build up inside.

READ  Grim video shows mushrooms growing inside woman’s ear after she complained it was sore and itchy

Your parents sound as if they’re handling things in a very calm and mature way, which I’m sure is partly with you in mind.

I think what your mum is getting at is that an affair is often the symptom of something that’s already broken in a ­relationship, rather than the reason your parents are having problems.

It sounds as if their marriage was in trouble before this affair and it’s those issues your parents have to address if they have a chance of staying together.

Talk to your dad and support your mum, and let them get on with trying to repair their marriage.

What happened is sad and it’ll take time to resolve, but you can get through it, whatever the outcome. You need to be honest and communicate.





READ SOURCE

Leave a Reply

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you accept our use of cookies.