Brexit: 5 terrible things that'll definitely happen as Britain explodes tonight

Tell your family you love them. Pack your bags. And put your fingers tightly in your little ears.

For at the stroke of 11pm tonight, Britain will explode.

Tonight is the night we unBrexit, we fail to leave the EU, we extend again.

It’s likely you’ll see nothing change at all. Your trains will still run. The Port of Dover will remain open. Nigel Farage will keep talking.

But the moral fabric of Britain entire will be shredded from top to bottom. That’s if you believe some of these predictions, anyway.

Here are 5 things people predicted would happen if Brexit didn’t happen at 11pm tonight.


1. Britain will ‘explode’

Take a bow, Tory Brexiteer Mark Francois

Tub-thumping Tory Brexiteer Mark Francois warned Britain would explode last month if we didn’t leave the EU on October 31.

He told the BBC: “As a principle you should comply with the law, but as I understand it people are looking extremely carefully at the [Benn] Act to see what it does or does not mandate you to do.

“I think if we don’t leave on 31st of October, this country will explode.”

It’s fair to say Twitter has had a bit of fun with the promise.

One armchair pundit, Richard May, posted an empty box of PG Tips on Twitter saying: “Oh sweet Jesus, it’s happening #Britainhasexploded.”

Another shared the image of “chaos and anarchy” – a tipped-up lawn chair. A third posted a picture of a mapie with a cigarette, because why not.

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2. The Tory party will be ‘finished’

Yes, this is Mark Francois again. Sorry.

He made the claim when describing a meeting with Boris Johnson .

He said: “I looked him in the eye, I’ve known him 20 years, and said, ‘Boris if you become prime minister, do you give me your word we’ll leave on the 31st of October, come hell or high water?’

“And he said, ‘look Mark, we’ve got to leave, otherwise the Tory Party is finished. We’re leaving.’ That swung it for me.”


3. Katie Hopkins will drink tea naked with Farage nipples

Katie Hopkins, there, everyone

Right-wing provocateur and hate figure Katie Hopkins tweeted on October 4: “We are out on 31 Oct.

“If I am proved wrong I will drink a pot of tea naked in the Apprentice losers cafe with Farages face on each nipple.”

After a delay she appeared to confirm she’d do it. “Thanks for this Boris.”

4. There’ll be civil unrest and a ‘violent popular uprising’


Tory chairman James Cleverly said last month: “Civil unrest could happen. I’m not saying it will or that it’s even likely but it is possible.”

But an anonymous Tory Cabinet minister went much further.

They told The Times it could lead to a “violent, popular uprising”.

Obviously, the risk of violence and rioting must always be taken seriously. But an extension has since been endorsed, however begrudingly, by Boris Johnosn. As of 1.30pm on Thursday, the extent of pro-Brexit protests in Parliament Square appeared to be a few dozen people with Union flags.

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General election 2019

5. Boris Johnson will die in a ditch

Or not

Asked if he’d delay beyond October 31 last month, Boris Johnson said: “I’d rather be dead in a ditch.”

Except, well, he won’t.

Because even at the time he didn’t confirm this would mean him resigning. And he’s carried on, vowing to make Brexit happen by January 31.

He’s tried to blame Jeremy Corbyn but Labour’s leader replied: “He has failed and that failure is his alone.”


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