Thank you very much for joining me. A lovely roundup will soon drop.
Full-time results
Croatia 0-3 Austria
France 1-2 Denmark
Kazakhstan 2-0 Azerbaijan
Belarus 0-1 Slovakia
Latvia 3-0 Andorra
Liechtenstein 0-2 Moldova
Belgium 1-4 Netherlands
Mr Jolly strikes again.
Roberto Martinez is the only manager to lose games by three goals to Louis van Gaal in both the Premier League and the Nations League.
— Richard Jolly 🇺🇦 (@RichJolly) June 3, 2022
Full-time! Belgium 1-4 Netherlands
Netherlands: good, Belgium: bad, Boyata: atrocious.
Full-time! France 1-2 Denmark
A wonderful night for the Danes and Cornelius.
GOAL! Belgium 1-4 Netherlands (Batshuayi, 90+3)
Who cares?
Belgium 0-4 Netherlands: I still can’t believe Roberto Mancini used to pick Boyata over Nedum Onuoha.
“Boyata has been a weak link in the ‘Golden Generation’ for some time,” says Dan Christmas. “All those excellent players, but Belgium just needed one or two more very good players to really look world class. If that makes sense…”
He’s been ruddy awful.
France 1-2 Denmark: Hojberg is caught late and looks in a lot of pain on the deck.
France 1-2 Denmark: A chance for an immediate equaliser as an unmarked Rabiot sends a weak header straight at Schmeichel.
GOAL! France 1-2 Denmark (Cornelius, 89)
Speaking of … Cornelius races onto a pass over the top, takes a couple of touches while holding off the defender and whacks the ball into the roof of the net.
France 1-1 Denmark: The Danes are looking good going forward …
France 1-1 Denmark: Kante takes aim from 30 yards, curling his shot beyond Schmeichel but the ball bounces back off the post.
Belgium 0-4 Netherlands: The ball is in the back of the net. Batshuayi is found the wrong side of the defence, he shovels the ball at goal but Cillesen saves it, only to see Castagne tap home. The celebrations are muted as Batshuayi knows what VAR confirms: he is offside.
Belgium 0-4 Netherlands: De Bruyne looks pretty annoyed to still be on the pitch for this shitshow.
France 1-1 Denmark: What a save! Olsen cuts in from the right and hammers a left-footed shot from 25 yards which Lloris flings himself at to stop it going into the top corner.
GOAL! Belgium 0-4 Netherlands (Depay, 66)
Boyata is having a stinker. Blind sees space to run into, he heads a long ball into the path of Depay, who is in about 10 yards of space as Boyata has completely lost him, and he volleys home.
GOAL! France 1-1 Denmark (Cornelius, 68)
The big man stays onside to volley a looped ball over the France defence.
The Benzema goal for UK readers …
The GENIUS that is Karim Benzema on full display again! 🤯
Absolutely outstanding dribbling and finish, set up by a beautiful flick from Nkunku, and France are in front 🇫🇷 pic.twitter.com/5T2zLkmCCu
— Premier Sports (@PremierSportsTV) June 3, 2022
Belgium 0-3 Netherlands: To be fair to Belgium, De Bruyne did announce beforehand that he did not care about these matches. Ban football in June!
GOAL! Belgium 0-3 Netherlands (Dumfries, 62)
All over in Brussels. Berghuis curls a shot from the edge of the box which Mignolet palms into Blind’s path from where he crosses for Dumfries to tap home a third.
Belgium 0-2 Netherlands: Cillesen finally makes a save! A lovely through ball reaches Trossard who thwacks a shot at goal from inside the box but the goalkeeper is behind it.
Belgium 0-2 Netherlands: Belgium are currently playing like a team who find the Nations League beneath them.
Thoughts are prayers with my good friend James who is recovering after eating some reheated rice on Wednesday.
France 1-0 Denmark: Varane is the latest France player to hit the deck. He looks like a man who has just remembered he is a Manchester United defender as he awaits treatment. Looks live he might have knacked his calf.
Belgium 0-2 Netherlands: Vertonghen pings a bicycle kick well over the bar from six yards.
“I don’t disagree that technology has moved on, but I’m still not sure I see the point of non-alcoholic beer?” asks Tom Hopkins. “There are so many other flavours to explore, why stick with the same on drinking and non-drinking nights?
“Sorry, I was trying to come up with another example of a weak, watery version of something vital for comparison, but I’m coming up blank.”
I think it’s the reassuring nature of it. I also do not actually often drink beer at home.
GOAL! Belgium 0-2 Netherlands (Depay, 51)
Depay races into space vacated by Boyata and whips a shot almost through Mignolet.
GOAL! France 1-0 Denmark (Benzema, 51)
WHAT A GOAL! The striker dribbles into the box from the right flank, plays a quick one-two, then bamboozles three defenders with ludicrously quick feet before slotting into the corner. Incredible stuff from an incredible player.
Belgium 0-1 Netherlands: Mertens, who came on at half-time, makes an instant impact by scraping his studs down Blind’s calf to earn a booking.
“Your choice of halftime refreshment makes me realise that the Nations League is kind of like non-alcoholic beer,” Peter Oh says. “Not horrible, but not very good either. A bit of a funny aftertaste, and none of the feeling you associate with the real thing. Something you wouldn’t choose but could put up with given no other options.”
You should get hold of some Adnam’s Ghost Ship 0.5%.
France 0-0 Denmark: Benzema volleys from close range but Schmeichel makes himself big to repel the Frenchman’s effort and the defenders scramble the ball away.
Second half
Here we go again!
With France v Denmark live on Box Nation in the UK, I fear what channel are showing Liechtenstein v Moldova. Good Food?
Over the past 10 years, I think the improvement in non-alcoholic beer and over chips, really has changed the world for the better.
Just having a non-alcoholic beer and a piece of brownie. I am living the platinum jubilee dream.
Kári Tulinius emails: “I’m not saying I’m having a hard time staying engaged, but I started reading the Wikipedia entry on the Belgian stadium’s namesake, and it’s never a good sign, ethics-wise, when one of the subsections is about another person’s murder. Nice goal, mind you, by some Dutch guy. Enjoy the match!”
I AM DOING MY BEST.
Half time
An emotional 45 minutes concludes around Europe. France and Denmark is still goalless but we do have a goal in Belgium.
Scores:
Croatia 0-1 Austria
France 0-0 Denmark
Result: Kazakhstan 2-0 Azerbaijan
Belarus 0-0 Slovakia
Result: Latvia 3-0 Andorra
Liechtenstein 0-1 Moldova
Belgium 0-1 Netherlands
France 0-0 Denmark: Mbappe is on the turf looking relatively dejected while shaking his head. He gets to his feet but doesn’t look happy and is wandering around the pitch. He seemed to hurt himself with no one around him …
Belgium 0-1 Netherlands: Dumfries gets down the right and crosses into the box. The ball whacks Castagne in the face and the referee awards a penalty. It goes to VAR who instruct the referee to go over to the monitor and he rightly overturns it.
“If I were Timber I would sign for Forest over United, for obvious reasons,” says Peter Oh.
I think Forest are in favour of keep trees up, not cutting them down.
GOAL! Belgium 0-1 Netherlands (Bergwijn, 40)
A wonderful strike from Bergwijn. He receives he ball with his back to goal 30 yards from goal, turns, gets it out of his feet and fires a powerful shot into the corner.
Belgium 0-0 Netherlands: De Bruyne has an opportunity to shoot from a free-kick 25 yards from goal. He lifts the ball over the wall but straight into Cillesen’s hands.
Belgium 0-0 Netherlands. The Dutch are on top – the home fans are even starting to boo. Depay is the latest to let fly but his dipping shot bounces safely into Mignolet’s hands.
Belgium 0-0 Netherlands: Another chance for Berghuis. Bergwijn lays the ball off to an onrushing Berghuis but he curls a rising shot high and wide.
We are past the half-hour mark and only Liechtenstein v Moldova has a goal.
