When you think massage, you don’t typically tend to think of our nether regions but it might just be the area we’re missing from our wellness routine. We’re all familiar with the Swedish, hot stone, aromatherapy and deep tissue massage, but the Yoni massage is quietly becoming the latest step in women’s self-care regimes.
We spoke to head girl Ellie at the leading tantric massage brand, Karma Tantric, to have every single question we have about yoni massage answered.
What exactly is a yoni massage?
A Yoni massage is a massage that stimulates the female sacred space or genital area, known in Sanskrit as the ‘Yoni’.
All providers offer slightly different styles of massage, both in technique and choreography. This is a reflection on the personal preference, creativity and experience of your chosen masseuse. After talking with many tantric masseuses, we can assume the following general idea on what your tantric massage would involve.
- Grounding Touches
For most professional tantric massages, you can expect yourself and your masseuse to be totally nude, however you will usually start by lying face down with a towel over your body. Your masseuse will start with grounding touch movements or presses which are mostly performed with the hands. These are designed to awaken your body through blunt pressure, stretching the muscles and generating blood flow throughout the body.
- Energy Spread
Once the towel is removed, your masseuse will begin to massage the back of your body, using warm oils and her hands moving in a free flowing motion. You will experience a wonderful touch sensation on your back, shoulders, and arms all the way down to your buttocks and rear thighs. Your masseuse will spread her energy over your body from head to toe, activating your kundalini energy.
- Erotic Awakening
At this point, your masseuse will begin to use other parts of her body to caress and stimulate you. You may feel the soft brush of her pelvis against your leg or her breasts softly moving up and down your back in a rhythmic type fashion very similar to that experienced during sex. All the while, her hands will also be searching and caressing every part of you, edging nearer to your lower buttocks and inner thighs.
- Turning Over
When asked, you will turn over to lay on your back and your pillows should be adjusted to support your head. You are now in a position to expose you pelvic area to the masseuse and also be able to enjoy the visuals of the massage as she massages you using body to body massage slides. Now you are facing your masseuse, expect lots of eye gazing which will create a very erotic and deep connection.
- The Lingham or Yoni Massage
Even though the genital area would have already received some stimulation, especially around the perineum, the massage will increasingly now focus more on the lingham or yoni. Touch techniques that focus on different parts of the genitals will be performed in order to build up your arousal and ‘energise’ your erogenous zone. These may be sensations that you have never felt before and can be extremely pleasurable!
- Energy Release
Authentic tantric practitioners would hope to achieve a full body orgasm that does not include physical ejaculation, however in modern tantric sessions this is not generally the case. The energy release is certainly included in a modern tantric massage and should be expected unless stated otherwise. As you would have been riding ‘waves of pleasure’ throughout the massage, this should be a very intense climax indeed.
- Cool Down
Once you have achieved climax, the sensations of touch you feel will be much softer as your body will be in a very sensitive state. At this point your masseuse should leave you in a place of peace and bliss, to bring you back down to reality and close off the session. Many masseuses will incorporate hot towels to rub your body down and remove oils as you relax.
Can you tell me about the history of the yoni massage?
Yoni massage history is closely entwined with the history of Tantra, as Yoni massage is actually derived from Tantric Massage. First recorded texts that relate to tantric practice date back as far as 300CE and are evident in Hinduism and Buddhism.
What are the benefits of the yoni massage?
In my experience providing Yoni Massage to my clients, many women visit me to help with:
Painful menstruation: As the massage stimulates the blood flow in the area.
Painful sexual intercourse: Yoni massage helps to awaken the genital area, using breathing techniques to relax the muscles around the vagina and allow more relaxed intercourse.
Improvement of sexual relationships: I have worked with many clients to help unlock a fear of intimacy and touch, improve trust, confidence and develop an increase in sex drive.
Releasing energy: Yoni massage techniques promote unblocking of channels to achieve a greater connection with the mind, body and soul. My clients feel more connected after a session, with their mind and their body.
Achieving more intense orgasms: Yoni massage creates connection and a balance of the body. The mind is cleared and together this allows for a more intense, ‘cleaner’ orgasm that can be far superior to anything my clients may have felt before.
How long does the yoni massage last?
Usually I recommend a Yoni massage session to last 90 minutes, however I can perform one in 60 minutes if time is an issue. Any less than 60mins is simply not enough time to gain the full benefits of the session.
Is the massage usually done by a female or male masseuse?
Yoni massage can be performed equally well by either a male or female masseuse. As long as they are properly trained of course. Some females prefer a female to perform the massage as they feel more at ease and less vulnerable in the company of a female. Yoni massage is often performed by women, on women, which raises questions like ‘Am I a lesbian if I let a female massage my Yoni?’. Of course the answer is no, all types of females can enjoy a Yoni massage without specifically being aroused by female company.
In a recent survey we conducted, we found that 60% of straight women said they would consider a Yoni massage performed by another woman. It’s more about being in touch with your own body and mind, letting go of your anxieties and blockages that stop you from being you.
It’s useful to note that many men and couples also come to see me to learn how to perform Yoni massage on their partners. Learning to please your partner in this way can be very rewarding and help to reestablish a sensual connection in your relationship that may have faded.
Do you think the yoni massage itself is a form of feminist relaxation?
I think that Yoni massage is an excellent way for females to relax in any aspect as well as empower themselves. Taking control of your body and mind is a tool that females should embrace and that Yoni massage can help women achieve. I believe we need to start seeing this type of therapy as a professional, viable and accessible practice to improve sexual health, the same way we see psychology or osteopathy. The entanglement of female shame within sexuality is holding many females back from accessing the incredible benefits of this type of massage.
Why do you think there’s such a stigma surrounding the yoni massage?
I think anything that even touches on sexuality can be seen as either exciting or taboo in our world and with that comes feelings of shame or judgment. Even if it is therapeutic with regards to sexual health, it is sometimes frowned upon in our ‘British’ culture. The truth is, behind the scenes, there is a vibrant sexual movement that means many people enjoy the benefits of services such as this, it’s just not openly spoken about. The boundaries that separate sexual health practices such as Yoni massage compared to other services such as escorting or prostitution are certainly not clear to most of society. We need to eradicate the shame we feel for wanting to be sexual or for attending to our sexual health needs.
What do women enjoy most about it?
After working in the industry for over 10 years, I have certainly had many compliments from my Yoni clients.
One client that comes to mind is a lady who came to me with very low self-esteem after her divorcing her husband where she was in a mentally abusive relationship.
Her confidence levels were very low and she had developed a fear of intimate touch. She was also particularly self conscious about her body and had gained weight as a result of the bad head space she was in.
Our sessions lasted just over 6 months where we worked on all the areas that she was struggling with. One day she called to explain that she would not wish to visit me any further for the time being. I was a little taken aback as I was certain we had made incredible progress working together, so I asked if she would be so kind as to explain why.
It seems that our work together had given her the confidence to start dating again and she had now found a partner. I was really very pleased, proud and so flattered that she had made it out of the negative space she was in and could not pursue a happy future with her new partner.