Woman going through miscarriage worries she’s ‘heartless’ because she feels fine and thinks other people ‘sensationalise it’

A WOMAN going through a miscarriage has revealed her fears that she is “heartless” because she feels “fine”.

Writing on Mumsnet, she suggested that other people may “sensationalise” the devastation of expectant mums who lose their baby.

A woman has asked if she's "heartless" because she feels "fine" following her miscarriage — A woman has asked if she’s “heartless” because she feels “fine” following her miscarriageCredit: Getty – Contributor

In a post titled ‘Feeling like I’m the only one who feels like this about miscarriage’, she explained matter-of-factly how she was experiencing a miscarriage – which is the loss of a pregnancy during the first 23 weeks – and had been researching online whether she needed painkillers or scans.

“I’m probably just being REALLY awful by saying this, but am I the only person who seems to think that miscarriage is a pretty normal thing?” she admitted.

“As in – it happens to 1 in 4 people…. The support websites just don’t seem to normalise it and instead, I don’t know what the word is….but sensationalising it comes to mind?!

“I totally understand that miscarriage is extremely upsetting for most people, however, I’m eight weeks pregnant, its not a baby, its some chromosomes that are incompatible and were never going to become a baby.

The Mumsnet user said she felt like it was "pretty normal" and that people "sensationalise it" — The Mumsnet user said she felt like it was “pretty normal” and that people “sensationalise it”Credit: Getty – Contributor

“I have not lost something that ‘could have been’. I feel fine about the entire thing.”

The woman went on to add: “Its normal. It happens all the time.

“Yet everywhere I look are photos and videos of sobbing women and its just making me feel like a total freak who doesn’t have a heart.”

She went on to ask Mumsnet users if she was “totally heartless” and if “anyone else had a miscarriage and actually just been ok about the whole thing”.

Fellow users told her that it was ok to feel this way - but that other women may react differently — Fellow users told her that it was ok to feel this way – but that other women may react differentlyCredit: Getty – Contributor

The woman added: “I’m truly sorry if this offends anyone and I am not saying people should not be upset. Its just, I’m not. And that doesn’t seem to be ok with the rest of the world.”

Mumsnet users sympathised with her dilemma, and shared their own heart-breaking stories as they pointed out that different women may deal with a miscarriage differently.

One wrote: “I get what you’re saying. I was similar with my first. Second one I felt very differently – essentially very distraught.”

Another commented: “My miscarriage was a missed one so the foetus had died around the seven week point but hung around for another four weeks and I had no idea.

A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy during the first 23 weeksCredit: Alamy

“It was incredibly painful, upsetting and affected me and my relationship with DH for ages because his reaction was like yours. I think it shows it’s horses for courses really.”

A third shared: “I really see where you are coming from. I’ve had two miscarriages, one was an ectopic and the other probably chromosomal (it’s being tested at the moment).

“I was really shocked with the first one, but the second one, once my consultant explained that mmc after seeing a heartbeat are 99 per cent cause by chromosomal problems, I felt ok about it and glad I didn’t have to make a difficult decision further along has the pregnancy somehow progressed.”

And a fourth added: “I’ve felt both ways. I’ve lost six pregnancies and I do think it’s perfectly reasonable to be ok with it.”