Woman battling loneliness after losing husband reveals mantra which keeps her going

According to Age UK, for a growing number of people in later life, loneliness is having a significant impact on their health.

The stress from feeling disconnected can lead to depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, stroke and heart disease.

Loneliness can have many causes, from living alone, to poor health, being a full-time carer, divorce, or the most common – losing a loved one.

And it is often the everyday things such as having a simple conversation that are missed the most.

But there are things you can do to start to connect with other people, says ex-Olympic champion Dorothy Shirley-Emerson, who is a member of Oddfellows, the UK’s biggest friendly society which supports people through difficult times.

1 Get out and socialise

It’s often hardest to make the first step to socialise with others – be brave, says Dorothy
(Image: Getty Images)

This can be far easier said than done, but small steps can take you a long way over a period of time.

Just do what is comfortable to you.

‘The first steps are hard – you might not feel like you want to get out and socialise, but you have to make that brave first move,’ says Dorothy.

2 Try something new

Dorothy (right) with other members of the friendly society Oddfellows

Maybe there is something you’ve always wanted to try – you may have a hidden skill or talent which is waiting to unleash itself.

If you don’t try, you will never know.

It may require some effort but Dorothy’s mantra is: ‘I’m glad I tried.’

Repeating this gives her the courage needed to go out, speak to new people and try new things even when she doesn’t feel like it.

3 Talk about it

Don’t be afraid to tell others how you feel, they may be able to help.

If there isn’t someone who you can talk to, Dorothy suggests getting in touch with a befriending service like The Silver Line.

Click HERE for more information on The Silver Line, or call 0800 4 70 80 90.

If you’re good at gardening, you could offer your services to others
(Image: Getty Images)

4 Buddy up

Call on someone you know to try out that new thing or go to that new place with you, even if only for the first few times for moral support.

This will give you some much-needed confidence.

But if there is no one to go with you, don’t let that put you off.

There are things you can do to reduce any anxieties you might have, like ringing ahead.

‘Most groups are very welcoming and can pair you up with someone understanding,’ says Dorothy.

Think about things you’d like to try – like cooking – and join a group
(Image: Getty Images/Blend Images)

5 Use your skills

We’re all good at something, whether it’s organising, cooking, gardening, DIY or making cups of tea.

Think about what you once enjoyed doing or would like to try.

You can use your skills to volunteer at services such as Oddfellows. For more information on Oddfellows, click HERE or call the membership team on 0800 028 1810.

6 Believe in yourself

Be confident and brave.

Dorothy Says, ‘Loneliness can eat away at your confidence, but you’re an amazing person who people will love to meet.

‘You just need to go out and find them!’

Activities to help reduce the feelings of loneliness

Aqua class/water aerobics

A weekly exercise class like aqua aerobics gives you something to look forward to
(Image: Getty Images/Blend Images RM)

Choose an age appropriate class.

It can be something to look forward to weekly or more often if you choose.

It’s also a group activity as well as gentle exercise.

Volunteer

You can volunteer with a local charity at their coffee mornings and in their stores.

If you drive and have a car, many charities use volunteers to collect donations from people, whether its books, clothes or household goods.

Get online

Ask someone to show you the ropes if you’re unsure about online, then explore the many apps at your disposal.

Local libraries often run online/computer training courses.

Libraries often have computer and online training courses
(Image: Getty Images)

Walking football

Aimed at older people with the purpose of recreation, physical exercise and competition.

Go singing

Join your local choir – music has that feel-good factor you’ll make friends, and belting out a few tunes will lift your spirits.

Loneliness facts

Joining a choir can help you make friends, and the singing will lift your mood
(Image: Getty Images)

● Loneliness, living alone and poor social connections are as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

● Lonely people are more likely to suffer from dementia, heart disease and depression.

● The number of older people experiencing loneliness is set to reach two million by 2025/6. This compares to around 1.4 million in 2016/7 – a 49% increase.

● Half a million elderly people go at least five or six days a week without seeing or speaking to anyone at all.

● Two fifths of all older people say the television is their main company.