A woman who became a mum at the age of 49, by adopting a newborn, feels she has fulfilled her ‘destiny’ – but trolls have called her ‘selfish’.
Kris Monsour shared her decade-long journey to motherhood on TikTok.
While many people have been supportive, others have attacked her for becoming a first-time mother nearly in her 50s.
According to Kris, from Ohio, US, the ageist comments are mostly coming from women, too.
‘You are going to die before she graduates. Selfish’, one person wrote. ‘Very selfish, that child is going struggle,’ said another.
‘I shared my story via TikTok and had a lot of trolls come out of nowhere saying that I wasn’t suitable to be a mum, that I was too old, that I was being selfish,’ Kris said.
‘I’ve never seen it that way and know that a long life is never guaranteed no matter how young or old you are.
‘I do have some worries that I won’t see some of Ainsley’s achievements, but we’re taking everything one day at a time, and trying to live and thrive within every moment.’
This hasn’t stopped Kris from sharing updates from her family, as she said she ‘felt whole’ after becoming a mom.
Posting under ‘thevintageparents’, Kris has called out the commenters for their ageist remarks. Reassuringly, most of the top comments on her original video – which now has over a million views – are positive.
The pov style video reveals that doctors told Kris she would never be a mother and that she should ‘accept her fate’. Flash forward and the 51-year-old is holding her two-year-old child.
After multiple miscarriages, 48-year-old executive insurance director Kris had accepted that she might never have kids… then a single text changed her life.
A distant relative reached out asking if she and her partner Clay, 47, wanted to adopt as a kin ship (a system where a relative raises a child because the biological parents were unable to). They said yes.
After a long, gruelling legal process that cost £15k, they were granted official custody of Ainsley in March 2020.
While Kris had made peace with the fact she may never become a mother, she never really gave up hope. For more than seven years, she still desired motherhood.
‘During my first marriage, I really wanted children, but I suffered a miscarriage at 38,’ Kris said. ‘My ex-partner and I discussed IVF and other routes, but never went ahead with the process as our marriage ended up falling apart due to it being quite toxic.
‘When I met my current husband, Clay I got pregnant very quickly, but lost the baby at the three-month mark.
‘A doctor ended up basically telling me that I should just stop trying and that I was never going to be a mother.
‘It was a huge gut punch, but I was determined to focus on my job.’
Then one afternoon in 2019, that text arrived.
‘We were there every step of the way during the pregnancy and the birth,’ Kris recalled.
‘We were there for the ultrasound, and at the hospital when she was born, I even got to cut the cord.
‘We left the hospital with Ainsley, and we officially adopted her in March 2020.
‘The process was longwinded as there were lots of legal fees and we had to pay social services to come and do checks.
‘So the overall adoption process cost about £15,300 all together.’
Ainsley has been welcomed ‘with open arms’ by Kris’ extended family. ‘We love the fact she’s got so much love around her,’ Kris said.
Kris plans to tell Ainsley that she is adopted as soon as it feels right. For now, she is ignoring the social media trolls and continuing to make videos about motherhood for TikTok.
Anything she earns from the platform is going straight to Fairfield Foster Closet, a charity that provides foster children and adopted kids with clothes.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
MORE : Soap star Mat Stevenson adopting a trans teen shows what parenting means – love and support
MORE : Mums share the most unexpected joys and horrors of motherhood
MORE : The physical reminders of a miscarriage and how to deal with lasting symptoms
