Parenting

White woman lists all the things she’s learned since marrying a Black man and having a mixed-race daughter


Mum Pamela shared a list of things she’s learned as a white woman with a Black man in America (Picture: Pamela Chandler)

A mum in an interracial marriage has shared the lessons she’s learned while being married to a Black man in America.

Pamela Chandler, from Ohio, was getting tired of people denying racism and complaining of being tired of the Black Lives Matter movement.

To show that racism is indeed a thing that affects people every day, Pamela listed all the things that are different for her and her husband.

Since becoming a mum to a mixed-race daughter, too, Pamela has also learned other valuable lessons about what life is like for those who are not white.

The open letter she wrote explained how Pamela has to handle all public interactions, drive if they’re going outside of the ‘safe’ neighbourhoods, and all the ways her husband Walter has to minimise himself.

The letter went viral on Facebook where it has been shared more than 120,000 times.

Pamela later lamented that it was her words – the experiences of a white woman – that went viral instead of the plethora of accounts by people of colour talking out against racism.

But she is still hopeful people took away something from her letter.

This post went viral (Picture: Pamela Chandler)

In the letter, she wrote: ‘So as a white woman married to a Black man and raising a biracial child I’ve had to unlearn a lot of things. I’ve also had to LEARN twice as much. I’ve had to become aware and start to notice things my mind never would have before.

‘I have to handle store clerks, returns, getting documents signed, anything with any federal building or administrative work, I get further with any type of “paperwork” thing that needs to be handled, people listen to me and are much more agreeable than with him.’

Pamela added that it’s not just her husband that life is a little harder for. The mum said her daughter is also impacted by her skin colour.

She wrote: ‘When doll shopping our daughter gets 25 white options and one or two Black or mixed-race doll options.

Pamela continued: ‘The same people who stop us daily to say how adorable our daughter is, are the same people who would cross the street if Walter was walking alone.’

Since the viral post, Pamela began a separate blogging page, The Chandler Crew, to detail her family life and also share resources about racial injustice in America.

It’s also a chance for other interracial families to join and connect.

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Email metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk to tell us more.

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