Samantha Bee delivered a scathing class in sex education on Full Frontal Wednesday as states like Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, Ohio and more try to curtail or outright ban abortions.
Bee noted that many of the predominately male state legislators behind these measures don’t seem to have any understanding of how the internal reproductive system works. So, donning a cheery teacher’s denim vest, complete with penis and vagina patches, Bee went about explaining all the obvious basics, like the fact that a woman cannot immediately detect whether or not she’s pregnant, and that doctors calculate how far along a woman is based not on the moment of conception, but the first day of the last period.
“Bet you didn’t know uteruses were also time travelers — that’s science, bitch!” Bee cracked.
Bee also schooled a particularly daft Ohio state representative, who claimed you could reimplant an ectopic pregnancy, then unloaded on the efforts of the Georgia legislature to pass a measure that would allow investigations into women who miscarry to determine whether they had an abortion. Pointing out that miscarriages are extremely common, Bee tried to put it in perspective for the male senators: “It would be like if cops showed up every time you miracle-whipped into your wife’s good towels and accused you of genocide. Except different, because you never wanted to bring your shame tadpoles to term.”
Bee closed her lesson by noting that not only do many of these state legislators not know what an abortion actually is, but even politicians on the left, like Bernie Sanders and Beto O’Rourke, have flubbed answers about late-term abortions that have given the right ammunition to make absurd claims.
“Look, these laws are designed to oppress and control and ultimately overturn Roe vs. Wade,” Bee said. “And if they succeed, they will result in death and poverty for women and other vulnerable people. But it is especially fucked up that the people doing the regulating wouldn’t recognize a vulva if it bit them in the face.”
