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To celebrate the return of the Comedy Store we look at some of the best-known comedians’ earliest gags


THERE has not been much to laugh about.

But the iconic Comedy Store – a breeding ground for stand-ups since the 1950s – has found innovative ways of bringing back the smiles.

 To celebrate the return of the Comedy Store Ben Griffiths looks at some of the best-known stars’ earliest gags
To celebrate the return of the Comedy Store Ben Griffiths looks at some of the best-known stars’ earliest gagsCredit: Alamy

Not only is it running online gigs, it has also set up a string of socially distanced drive-in events outdoors around the country this summer, where punters will be able to arrive in their cars.

But the main UK club – based in central London – has not announced when it will re-open.

To celebrate the return of the Comedy Store – a launchpad for comics including Peter Kay, Jack Dee and Jimmy Carr – Ben Griffiths looks at some of the best-known stars’ earliest gags.

Eddie Izzard , 1988

 The Comedy Store was a launchpad for comics like Eddie Izzard
The Comedy Store was a launchpad for comics like Eddie IzzardCredit: EPA

PUBERTY is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you’re just noticing members of the opposite sex:

“Girls, girls… oooh.” Naturally you just want to look your best, and God says, “No! You will look the worst you’ve ever looked in your life!”

Al Murray, 1995

 The iconic Comedy Store has been a breeding ground for stand-ups since the 1950s
The iconic Comedy Store has been a breeding ground for stand-ups since the 1950sCredit: Getty – Contributor

WE do not go in for philosophy in this country. We have our own way of thinking. It’s called wondering.

Peter Kay, 1999

 Peter Kay is one of Britain's best known comics
Peter Kay is one of Britain’s best known comicsCredit: Alamy

OLD people always say, “When there’s a death, there’s a birth, it comes in threes.” One year we had Ayrton Senna, Frankie Howerd and my uncle Graham all in the space of five months.

If you hang on long enough, of course, it comes in threes!

Sarah Millican, 2010

 The comedy store has set up a string of socially distanced drive-in events outdoors around the country this summer
The comedy store has set up a string of socially distanced drive-in events outdoors around the country this summerCredit: Not known, clear with picture desk

I’M not used to country living. Every time I see someone with a big marquee tent in their garden, I don’t think, “Oooh, someone’s having a nice summer party. I think, “Oooh, someone’s been murdered.”

Paul Merton, 1972

 Punters will be able to arrive in their cars to watch stand up comedians
Punters will be able to arrive in their cars to watch stand up comediansCredit: Corbis – Getty

DID you know the Romans wore condoms made out of the guts of sheep? Horrible thought but true. I imagine this guy walking along the Colosseum stuck on a sheep.

And someone says, “What are you doing?” He says, “I’m wearing a condom, I just couldn’t be bothered to take it out of the packet.”

Michael McIntyre, 1999

 The main UK Comedy Club – based in central London – has not announced when it will re-open
The main UK Comedy Club – based in central London – has not announced when it will re-openCredit: BBC

I’VE just had a baby – my biggest achievement. It’s not easy naming a baby. I think the worst name for a child is Aaron. Aaron is the first name in the baby- names book. How lazy do your parents have to be?

Lucy Porter, 2002

 Lucy Porter has made her name as one of the UK's best comic
Lucy Porter has made her name as one of the UK’s best comicCredit: Handout

IN your thirties your friends just disappear. I don’t mean they die. They all move to Birmingham, which is worse.

Jack Dee, 1986

 Jack Dee performed at the Comedy Club in his early days as a comic
Jack Dee performed at the Comedy Club in his early days as a comicCredit: Alamy

I DID a book signing this afternoon. Managed to scribble my name in three encyclopaedias before I got thrown out of the shop.

Jimmy Carr, 2001

 Jimmy Carr made gags at the iconic London club in 2001
Jimmy Carr made gags at the iconic London club in 2001Credit: PA:Press Association

DID you know you are ten times more likely to get mugged in London than in New York City? That’s because you don’t live in New York City.

Comedian Des Bishop takes on TikTok dance challenge and says he’s ‘still in the game’ at 44







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