If you felt triggered by pineapple on pizza, then this one isn’t for you. In fact, we’re not quite sure who this is for, because it concerns pizza slaughter of the highest form.
Remember Jadakiss? He’s the American rapper responsible for tracks We Gonna Make It, Letter to B.I.G and that other song where he accused Bush of orchestrating 9/11. He also has a rather iconic laugh that he slathered over most of his tracks.
These days, it’s his niche culinary interests keeping his name afloat.
New York pizzeria Cuts & Slices recently posted an image of Jadakiss’ go-to pizza order, captioned: ‘Special request for @threalkiss! Who else like Crust only?’
As you can see, this is the Cats live-action film of meal modifications. The perfectly good pizza is missing its entire centre thanks to one dexterous pizza wheel and hand.
There are three ketchup containers planted in the middle of the pizza necklace thing, which is about the only thing that makes sense here. Personally, dipping crusts in a garlic aioli or ranch sauce is nicer, but it’s the element of liquid and ritualistic dipping motion that counts here, so ketchup is fine.
He’s since come out defending his pizza preferences, issuing a video to TMZ saying the crust has been his favourite since he was a child.
Some have labelled his crust-only order as poetic act of protest. ‘A powerful rebuke to a culture that tells u to discard the crust,’ said @trillmoregirls.
Others have not been so kind.
somebody tell jadakiss about breadsticks lmfao
— .onesm∆rtniglet (@yaaboy_lent) July 16, 2019
Jadakiss eating an all crust pizza doesn’t surprise me I knew he was different when he was fantasizing about dancing w/ this girl at the club but all he could think about was her messing up the collar to his white tee
— Alphonse (@Al_Peeair) July 16, 2019
In a world where we’ve recognised that isolating parts of a pizza can be heavenly (see: buttery dough balls) is this that bad?
Well, he is wasting most of the pizza. If he’d had those crusts baked to order, it’d be different tale.
Only one answerable question remains: are we calling this crust-only pizza or pizza-less pizza? Right, ‘culinary treason’ or ‘pizzacide’ also seem fitting.
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