Dating is hard.
Not only are you looking for a special connection, but most of us are also ticking off an internal list of qualities that we want, and don’t want, in our future partner.
Some qualities – like whether your date has a dog or likes pineapple on pizza – are up for debate, but the fundamentals such as whether they are stable, treat you well and are trustworthy are can be deal-breakers for many.
The dating website eHarmony has analysed eight years worth of data among users aged 18 to 34, in order to find out exactly which character traits are ‘must-haves’.
On the flipside, the research also produced a definitive list of qualities that people ‘can’t stand’.
According to the data, young people want someone who can have a laugh, likes giving and receiving affection and is reliable.
More specifically, someone they can ‘count on to always support’ them (54%).
Over half (53%) also said they wanted to be ‘deeply in love with and attracted’ to their partner, which technically doesn’t count – it’s not a quality someone can possess.
Kindness also ranked highly (50%), as did listening skills (51%).
Top 10 ‘must-haves’ qualities in a partner
- Sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life (77%)
- Comfortable giving and receiving affection (61%)
- Someone I can count on to always support me (54%)
- I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner (53%)
- Good at talking and listening (51%)
- Gentle and kind (50%)
- Emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else (41%)
- Willing to explore sexual desires with passion and understanding (35%)
- Honest and strong enough to do the right thing (34%)
- Can handle life’s frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady demeanour (33%)
Top 10 ‘cant stand’ qualities in a partner
- Lies to anyone – especially to me (74%)
- Takes advantage of people (69%)
- Someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation (57%)
- Isn’t clean (50%)
- Engages in sex outside a committed relationship (42%)
- Has a devious nature and is mean to others (40%)
- Uses illegal recreational drugs (38%)
- Can’t manage their anger or bottles it up inside (38%)
- Likes to spend excessive time sleeping, resting or being a couch potato (33%)
- Someone who is intolerant of others (31%)
Meanwhile, as for the worst qualities some are pretty self-explanatory.
Lying topped the list with almost three quarters of people saying they can’t stand it, while just 69% aren’t keen on someone who ‘takes advantage of people’ or is ‘belittling, impatient or hateful’ (57%).
The least offensive quality was intolerance – only one third of people would be bothered by it.
Most surprisingly perhaps is that cheating (42%) ranked lower on the scale compared to being clean (50%).
At least the cleanliness can be solved with a quick shower…
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