IT is 7pm on a Monday, the band is loud and the bar is packed.
There are people dancing on tables, hoisted up on shoulders and at one point I even spot somebody CROWD-SURFING.
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No wonder they call Chambre Neuf, with its Swedish house band No Limits, the best après ski bar in town. Located in the homely Hotel Gustavia, it has an infectious vibe and all human life is here — from loved-up couples and chalet kids to snowboarding hipsters, veterans in salopettes and even the odd stag do.
This is the French Alpine resort of Chamonix in a nutshell. Folk from all over all doing the same wonderful thing. Mostly, of course, that is riding the mountains that the town in a dramatic way.
Chief among them is Mont Blanc, Western Europe’s highest mountain, which at 4,808m dominates the skyline and can be seen from the top of almost every run. The resort’s various mountains have 157km of trails, from easy nursery slopes to “you’d better have good insurance”- steep black runs.
When there is enough snow, there are acres of off-piste skiing. I spent most of my time at Le Tour, the rolling mountains at the end of the valley, a 20-minute (free) bus ride from central Chamonix.
Here you can find a good mix of runs for all levels, plus a snow park with jumps for scaredy-cats and show-offs alike. It was two years since I last went snowboarding, so I booked a couple of lessons with Evolution2 (150 euros for two hours’ private tuition).
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The snow wasn’t brilliant during our week in January (it had last snowed before Christmas) so we stuck to the groomed pistes where they blow fresh snow overnight.
It is worth getting a guide if you plan on doing some serious off-piste skiing. Also, check your insurance. Some winter-sports policies won’t cover it without a guide.
Luca was a dream coach, watching my efforts before pointing out gently where I went wrong. I’ve used the main ESF (Ecole du Ski Français) before and while they certainly know what they are doing, some instructors are unforgiving.
Luca suggested an afternoon on Grand Montets after one lesson. This mountain is not for the fain-hearted. If you take the cable cars to the highest point, you can ski right to the valley floor from 3,275m. But the first section is entirely black runs.
I opted to board down from Bochard, at a mere 2,765m. That was hard enough but the sense of achievement, if you get to the bottom without crashing, is pretty powerful. You have definitely earned that biere blonde.
Of course, mountain holidays are not just about sliding down hills and smashing the après ski.
In Chamonix, restaurants are in abundance and you must sample the local Savoyarde cuisine. Its main attraction is copious amounts of melted cheese.
We enjoyed a delicious fondue at a cosy place called Le Fine Bouche in the centre. We started with onion soup, which was so delicious my “vegetarian” travel buddy overlooked the beef stock it was made with.
With the fondue — melted local cheese such as Reblochon and Comté in white wine — a shared pud and a 50cl carafe of local white wine, the bill was just 90 euros, including service.
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We were so full we couldn’t eat breakfast the next day. But if you don’t fancy the artery-clogging stuff, try Monkey, a cool bar and restaurant a short-ish walk from the centre.
It boasts a Mexican menu, craft beers and a DJ. It is open until 1am too. We also got a sensational pizza from Pizzeria des Moulins — but do book, as it is very popular.
There are several decent Japanese and Italian restaurants and burger joints. If you like fish and don’t mind pushing your budget, try Josephine, a Grand Café-style shrine to Josephine Baker, where you can spend up to 500 euros on a seafood extravaganza.
They also serve some great beers. Watch out — some will blow your head off.
Veggie and vegan food is easy to come by but watch out in traditional places, as they seem to put bacon in everything. Chamonix is a shopper’s paradise too, with everything from high-end clobber — such as Moncler, where a puffa jacket costs 1,000 euros — to budget brand Decathlon.
And there are chocolate shops to die for. Seek out Aux Petit Gourmands for its signature Mont Blanc chocs. If you stay at the low-lit, cosy hotel Gustavia, as we did, insist on one of the newly decorated rooms. They are simply beautiful.
And as No Limits are all done by 9pm, they won’t interrupt your sleep. Just lie back and let the crisp mountain air send you off.
GO: CHAMONIX
GETTING/STAYING THERE: Three nights’ half board at the 3H Hotel Gustavia is from £622pp based on two adults sharing including flights from Gatwick to Geneva and transfers.
See crystalski.co.uk or call 020 8610 3123.
