Lifestyle

The ‘lady drawer’ is the worst idea ever


Is that a dildo? (Picture: Twitter/@DaddyAllDay)

The baked bean pizza; asking your partner to calm down during an argument; Pickle Rick condoms.

All examples of very bad ideas.

But, none of them is worse than the idea posed by Twitter user DaddyAllDay this week that advises all straight men should have something called a ‘lady drawer’.

In a tweet, they said: ‘I feel like every guy needs a “lady drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests’ alongside a picture of said lady drawer.

In there are some genuinely useful products, along with some not go useful ones which have resulted in DaddyAllDay’s post going viral for all the wrong reasons.

As well as tampons and wet wipes, there was a dildo and some pregnancy tests. Just in case you want to share sex toys with the last ‘guest’ or make sure that you’re not with child before you head to bed.

This reply may have summed it up best: ‘Ah yes the classic etiquette advice: make all your female friends, family, and hookups feel at home with (checks notes) two bottles of nail polish remover, an open pregnancy test and a used dildo.’

Yet aside from the obvious weirdness of some of the additions, I still think the well-meaning idea of a drawer of miscellaneous items for your sexual partners is a terrible one.

If you’re in a situation where it’s a casual hookup, you’re faced with the fact that you might be brushing your hair with the same brush that’s been through the locks of however many more people who’ve done the same.

Absolutely no shaming here on body counts or so-called ‘promiscuity’, but I am more than happy to highlight the fact that communal doesn’t translate well to personal hygiene products.

The more the merrier is not a phrase I want to associate with a scrunchie or a pack of wipes I use to clean my face. Even less so for a dildo.

Then, if you’re entering more emotional territory with the person whose house – and drawer – it is, you have a reminder of their past dating habits every time you reach for a hair bobble.

We all need to acknowledge our partners’ pasts, but do you really have to have a creepy drawer filled with nail polish remover left behind by a former flame to help you do it?

It has a vibe that’s transactional and impersonal. Tampons are a brilliant thing to have lying around, and surely everyone should have a hairbrush

But it takes away any semblance of thoughtfulness when it’s placed in a designated drawer for females, and sends the sterile message that you’re at some airport hotel

‘Here is your identikit toiletry pack, customer number 576760’.

Is he going to fold the loo roll into a point and put a chocolate on the pillow too? Because these things would be far better and not make me feel like I’m in the home of someone who has a tarpaulin laid on downstairs to murder me without ruining the carpet.

If you’ve ever been on a date with someone who has clearly-practised pick up lines or recommends a venue that they’ve clearly been to with dates numerous times before then you’ll know what I mean.

The place might be nice, the joke might make you laugh. But once you realise it wasn’t personalised for you, you’ll end up feeling like another product on their conveyer belt of shagging.

Women, ladies, females. Say it loud and say it proud: ‘We are not a monolith, and do not require your drawer of pink, used tat’.

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