Parenting

The biggest stresses for parents are a messy house and not enough sleep


Parenting stress is very normal (Picture: Shutterstock)

Childcare.co.uk has found that the majority of parents stress about the tidiness of their home more than anything else.

The findings come from a survery of more than 4,000 parents, which found that a lack of sleep and childcare issues were also top stress triggers for them.

As well as what causes them the most stress, parents were asked about their mental health, with two-fifths of parents believing that their mental health has negatively affected their parenting at some stage.

The stress of the cleanliness of their house was a bigger trigger than a parent than their child’s behaviour, or losing their child in a crowd.

60% of parents surveyed said that the state of their house causes them the most stress as a parent, compared to 55%, who said a lack of sleep was their biggest worry, and 30% said it was finding appropriate childcare.

The research results support statistics from the Mental Health Foundation who have found that approximately 68% of women and 57% of men with mental health problems are parents.

Richard Conway, founder of Childcare.co.uk said: ‘As a parent of two myself, I definitely know how it feels to be stressed.

‘There’s plenty of stressors involved in raising children, but it’s interesting to see that parents mostly stress about the tidiness of their house. Maybe this is because it’s a common cause that most parents experience daily.

Maintaining a house is one of the top stresses (Picture: Shutterstock)

‘What was even more interesting was how parents felt about their mental health and how they feel it has a direct impact on their parenting.

‘Hopefully this survey can start a conversation on stress as well as other mental health problems, and encourage parents to reach out and find the support they need.’

Parenting can be incredibly stressful – especially for new parents who are missing out on sleep, getting used to being a parent and adjusting to life with a baby.

But author and celebrity nanny Nanny Connie says there are ways to combat the stress – and that parents shouldn’t feel guilty for relaxing or taking time for themselves.

Connie said: ‘All new parents worry that they’re “messing it up”, when they should be relaxing. This fear is the biggest source of stress.’

She added that being verbal with how you are feeling is an important way to handle stress.

She said: ‘It is completely normal to feel tired from lack of sleep or anxious that you are not doing a good job.

‘Don’t keep your feelings hidden, be open about them and discuss them with your network – whether that be your doctor, family or friends.

‘If they are made aware, they can actively work to help you overcome obstacles that might be both physical or emotional.’

Another tip is treating yourself – something like a massage, a manicure, a haircut or just an afternoon of doing nothing. This is particularly relevant for new mums.

Connie says: ‘Feeling pampered is vital for your post-partum mental rejuvenation. Similarly, buying new outfits that aren’t maternity clothes are critical for that mental transition. For the last nine months of pregnancy you have undergone a significant emotional transition.’

Connie adds that sleep is so, so important.

‘Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest struggles of having a newborn, and this is particularly true for mothers. Sleep is essential for both you and the baby,’ she said.

‘To maintain a reasonable idea of how much sleep both you and your baby are managing, keep a sleep journal for the first couple of months.

‘This will help you track the amount of sleep you’re actually getting, and should be used as a guide to make sure there’s a steady increase as time passes.’

And finally, to combat stress, you really need to allow yourself peace of mind.

It’s totally normal to be stressing about your child, checking up on them and worrying about them. But it can also be a difficult experience for a parent.

Connie explained: ‘As a new parent, it’s normal to be constantly checking that your little one is okay while they’re sleeping.

‘However, this can be a draining experience for parents as they are in need of quality sleep just as much as their babies.

‘There have been great advancements in baby technology that allow parents to have a peace of mind whilst their baby is asleep.’

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