I have only one consistent criterion for judging shows about childbirth and newborns and that is: are they honest? Specifically, are they more honest than the supposedly revolutionary Channel 4 series, One Born Every Minute? Which, of course, was nothing of the sort. The editing was so selective that vaginas across the country should have sued for misrepresentation.
Another way of formulating the question would be: does this perpetuate or challenge the myth that childbirth is generally OK? Intense, sure, and occasionally dramatic, but essentially OK. How close does it come to the responsible reporting ideal, which would be to have a news ticker running along the bottom of the screen during every scene of a swaddled newborn with a handknitted cap on its head, saying things like: “We had to discard 85% of footage after things took a turn too hellish to be broadcast”; and “23 perineums were torn during the making of this programme, OMFG; here is the number for your local family planning clinic, have it tattooed somewhere visible at all times.”
The Baby Has Landed (BBC Two) is a four-part series, which is promising “a window into modern family life” by following six couples from the few days before birth, through the birth, and then into the first six weeks of life as new parents; that strange time, somewhere between war and penal servitude. The opening episode concentrates mainly on Syler and Mohamed Nicholson-Bayoumi who are expecting their first baby, unplanned but imminent; the Pierces, who are expecting their fifth (Nigel would have been happy with none, Helen always wanted a large family. “Marriage is a compromise, isn’t it?” he says. Oh, Nigel); Paul and Craig Saunders, who are expecting twins by their workmate Mel, who offered her services to them; and Hermisha and Shabazz Nkrumah, whose third child is overdue and making her mother very tearful, much to the consternation of her two boys, Ezrah and Elijah, who jump up and raid the house for tissues.
Syler gives birth first, slightly before Mo has his head fully in the game. Having grown up in a culture that keeps men well away from the expulsion process, he is reluctant to attend the birth. But a talking-to or three from Syler’s mum, Sara, is enough to put him there and he doesn’t seem to regret it.
Helen is up next. She and Nigel do the crossword together until it’s time for her to hop into the birthing pool and pop out Abigail. It’s a good job that Hermisha, still waiting in growing discomfort, can’t see her. They take Abigail home. “That’s a new baby!” cries four-year-old Edward, and he is absolutely right; it is fascinating to watch her being seamlessly absorbed into the controlled chaos. Nigel is a naturally organised type and seems to approach every new addition as another welcome challenge to his skills, whereas Syler hovers over her precious only, alert to every chirrup or slightly raspy breath through the night.
We end with Hermisha in the first stages of labour (“Stop saying the same thing,” she advises Shabazz, who is stuck in a loop somewhere between joy and panic) and the Saunders rubbing Mel’s bump and marvelling at the miracle within. Her face suggested that she herself was stuck – perhaps only momentarily, perhaps not – somewhere between fear and grief, and I doubt I was the only viewer to feel a tremor of trepidation at the sight.
So far, it seems just about honest enough, but not brutally so. We see hints of discontent, gestures towards areas of conflict between the couples (especially Syler and Mo), but no full-throttle rows or tears. Yet. And the births have gone well so far. It is not that I would wish it otherwise for the individuals concerned, of course. But television has great power to influence the stories we tell ourselves and each other, and to both shore up and dismantle the myths accrued round elemental parts of our lives. So it has a great responsibility to choose its path carefully and know that what it chooses to show or not show can have lasting consequences. Birth, motherhood and fatherhood are sites of much that is wonderful and needs protecting, and much that is toxic rubbish that needs to be cleared away. I hope the next three weeks get the balance right.
