Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which means that unlike normal Thursdays, you can spend September 19 sounding like a salty sea dog and living your best life as a Jack Sparrow impersonator – and no one should judge (technically).
Started in 1995 on a YMCA racquetball court in Albany, Oregon by friends John ‘Ol’ Chumbucket’ Baur and his friend Mark ‘Cap’n Slappy’, the Talk Like a Pirate Day movement has slowly grown in popularity over the last two and a half decades, before becoming an International day of fun and pirate-themed frolics in 2002.
It’s now become a tradition for many, so to find out how to incorporate some sea sailing, loot plundering, rum drinking pirate swagger into your workday, read on.
Talk Like a Pirate Day quotes and phrases
Blow me down – Oh my god
Avast ye – Look at this
Heave Ho – Put your back into to it
Pillage – Rob or plunder
Savvy? – Do you understand or do you agree?
Thar she blows! – When you see a whale
Shiver me timbers! – Oh my god
Scallywag – mild insult akin to rapscallion or rogue
Hornswaggle – to defraud or cheat out of money or belongings
Landlubber – big, slow clumsy person who doesn’t know how to sail
Scurvy dog – the pirate is talking directly to you with mild insult
Cleave him to the brisket – to cut across the chest, from one shoulder to the lower abdomen
Dead men tell no tales – phrase indicating to leave no survivors
Scuttle – to sink a ship
Seadog – old pirate or sailor
Old Salt – an experienced sailor
Three sheets to the wind – someone who is very drunk. One sheet is mildly drunk and four sheets is passed out
Batten down the hatches – put everything away on the ship and tie everything down because a storm is brewing
Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! – the exhortation of discontent or disgust (not to be confused with ‘Arrr!’ which is a commonly used pirate sound used to express your, well, pirate-ness)
Ahoy! – Hello!
Ahoy, Matey – Hello, my friend!
The Black Spot – Death threat
Talk Like a Pirate Day jokes
While we could detail an endless list of rib-tickling one liners here, Talk Like A Pirate Day founder Mark ‘Cap’n Slappy’ summarises salty sea dog humour quite nicely: ‘Thar be only three pirate jokes in the world. The biggest one is the one that ends with someone usin’ “Arrr” in the punchline. Oh, sure, thar be plenty o’ these, but they’re all the same damn joke.’
On the official Talk Like a Pirate Day website, he details said pirate joke:
‘What’s the pirate movie rated? – Arrr!’
‘What kind o’ socks does a pirate wear? – Arrrrgyle!’
‘What’s the problem with the way a pirate speaks? – Arrrrticulation!’
…and so forth.’
He continues: ‘The second joke is the one wear the pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o’ his trousers. The bartender asks, “What the hell is that ships wheel for?” The pirate says, “I don’t know, but it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
‘And finally. A little boy is trick or treatin’ on Halloween by himself. He is dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, “Where are your buccaneers?” The little boy responds, “On either side o’ me ‘buccan’ head!”
‘And there ye have it. A symposium on pirate humor that’ll last ye a lifetime – so long as life is violent and short.’
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