A SIGN telling mums to put down their phones while breastfeeding babies has caused outrage at one hospital’s baby unit.
It read: “Mummy & Daddy . . . Please look at ME when I am feeding. I am much more interesting than your phone!” Bosses at Yeovil District Hospital in Somerset said the poster was to “encourage bonding” and strengthen a mother’s milk flow.
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But parents have reacted angrily – saying keeping in touch with friends and family was a lifeline while poorly babies were receiving care. Lynsey Hope, from West Malling, Kent is expecting her third child and here argues why no mum should be shamed this way.
IN an ideal world, all mums would breastfeed their babies in a dimly-lit room while listening to relaxing music and gazing lovingly at their newborn’s perfect face. Sadly though, for many, that is not the reality of motherhood.
Breastfeeding can be an amazing experience and one that has been championed by the NHS for its health benefits, for both mother and baby. But, as any new mum would tell you, it is not easy. If you are one of the lucky ones who manages to feed successfully, well done. But that’s a big if.
Britain has some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world, with around half of new mums stopping before their baby is six weeks old. Only 34 per cent of babies are still receiving breastmilk at six months.
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If you can feed — but it takes an age and you want to chat on your phone or do internet browsing at the same time — you should not be shamed for doing so. When I had my son Jacob in July 2014, he had a healthy appetite. He fed every three hours and each time would take a good hour — that’s eight hours a day.
And some mums have babies who cluster-feed over a few hours, during which time they are pretty much chained to their little one. Needless to say, breastfeeding can seem, at times, like a full-time job. With Jacob, I was changing nappies, doing washing, taking baby out and going to groups during the day.
Often, around 2am or 3am, I’d be WhatsApping friends with babies. Night-feeding was often the only chance I’d have to talk to mates. We’d laugh about all being up in the middle of the night, joke about who was going to have to take their baby out in the car to get them back to sleep again, arrange catch-ups, play dates and coffees.
It gave me a lifeline and made me feel less alone. I knew I was not in this haze of sleep-deprived motherhood alone. New mums already feel isolated enough, so anything that can make us feel more connected and less alone should be encouraged.
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Often while feeding, I’d find myself Googling baby-related stuff: Why is my baby’s poo green? When do babies start teething? At what age do babies start rolling? It was the only chance I had to research things I had no idea about.
On top of that, there would be nappies to order and baby classes to book. Usually, Jacob was sleepy anyway, so I don’t understand the experts who say that having eye contact with your baby while breastfeeding is important for bonding.
My babies rarely fed with their eyes open, so this was an opportunity to tick off my to-do list rather than when my babies were alert and I was trying to get a smile out of them. When my Olive was born in March 2017 I was diagnosed with sepsis during labour and had to remain in hospital for several days.
My husband couldn’t stay as he had to care for Jacob. It would have been a very lonely time without a phone to keep in touch. I was even able to speak to my little boy while feeding Olive. Once home, the phone and feed multitasking got more necessary. There was even less time and even more jobs to do with two children.
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Between feeds I built train tracks or read stories to Jacob, or prepared his tea. I had a two-year-old who’d wake at 5am, plus a newborn who liked to be up all night. Falling asleep while feeding was a real risk — and of course it can be dangerous.
Looking at my phone was one way of keeping awake. I’d also be catching up on my son’s pre-school admin such as paying invoices, buying World Book Day costumes, all while feeding Olive.
She didn’t seem to mind and it meant fewer jobs to do during the day, giving me more time to play with my kids. I was working for myself by this point too, so had very little time off. I needed all the time I could get to email and make calls for work — even while Olive was feeding.
It’s only the same as celebrities like Gisele Bundchen getting her hair and make-up done while breastfeeding.
I’m expecting my third child in April, and I suspect I’ll have to do even more multitasking. If I want to phone a friend and ask advice or jump on social media to see what’s going on in the outside world, I’m not going to beat myself up.
The simple act of having her on me, feeding her, hugging her and loving her — regardless of what else I need to do — is all the bonding I’ll need.”
