The first rule of writing is that you should never read the comments.
Whether it’s a personal slight against the writer’s looks, or a snide comment about the quality of the writing, comment sections are known for being stressful places, where interesting and nuanced observations are drowned out by rudeness.
Now, a new initiative has arrived to try to reclaim the comment section, spearheaded by campaigner Aye Haightmen, a polyamorous feminist 26-year old student from Brighton.
Aye is writing a thesis titled ‘Why straight white men are everything that is wrong with the world today’.
As part of her research she launched a campaign to have all straight white men banned from the comments section of any and every site on the internet.
The project, which is being rolled out internationally before 1 April 2019 will see anyone who wants to leave a comment subjected to a privilege quiz.
Questions include: ‘Do you think that ‘gammon’ is a slur?’, ‘Do you own a wide variety of waistcoats?’, ‘Do you feel that the Black Panther film was mostly about ‘showing off’?’, and ‘Have you ever thought that actually yes, Piers Morgan might have a point?’
All your privilege points are totted up (being white, straight, male and privately educated carry the most points) and your privilege score is calculated.
You can also win back woke points for having facial piercings, coloured hair or living in a commune.
Anyone with a privilege score of over 10 will be unable to leave comments on publications.
It’s an answer to cries of ”you can’t say anything these days’. The campaign says no, if you are a straight white man (AKA the true victim of modern day society), you indeed cannot say anything. At least not online.
The news hasn’t been popular across the board. Gary Ammon told Metro.co.uk: ‘It’s political correctness gone mad. You can’t say anything these days without a fat ugly snowflake accusing you of being rude.’
However others have responded positively to the news. Gaia Estrella Moncler de Monfort, who runs the not-for-profit feminist ‘zine Fanny Letter said: ‘For too long men have had access to both computers and smartphones, and they’ve proved that they cannot be trusted. It’s best that we remove temptation from them.’
Hundreds of publications have already signed up to this exciting initiative which will go live before 12pm today.
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