THE mum-of-four talks family life in her weekly column. Today Peta, married to cyclist Mark Cavendish, discusses positive mental attitude . . . .
POSITIVE mental attitude slogans are posted on every Instagram page worth its salt and emblazoned across stationery, kitchenware and accessories. But is a positive mindset something you can choose to have? I am not so sure.
Stewart Williams – The Sun
I am aware that I am a very lucky with lots to be grateful for and plenty to keep me positive. I do not live feeling sorry for myself.
However, I am a worrier by nature. I am great at chucking a life jacket to other people while I casually drown myself in a well of worry.
I have found the real test over the years to be illness and injury – both my own, and that of members of my clique.
When my face was a constant swollen moon, I struggled to see how I would ever feel like me again. But by far my journey with my three-year-old boy Frey has been one of the hardest things for me as there were so many unknowns and I had so little control.
Stewart Williams – The Sun
As a baby, Frey was very poorly with suspected sepsis. He was left almost completely deaf and has had surgeries since to correct this. He has a communication delay of around a year, and has had speech and language therapy from 15 months.
He is so happy, funny and brave but, man, has being his mum made me feel like I couldn’t protect him well enough.
I constantly worried I’d let him down or not fight hard enough.
I was often told, “just think positive” – words meant to comfort me but that had the opposite effect, filling me with rage and resentment.
Stewart Williams – The Sun
It was not that simple. Could having a positive mindset fix Frey’s medical problems? No. So how dare people be so flippant. This was my baby.
During this time I probably let myself slip to one of my lowest points.
But I had other people to think about. I had to keep my family above water.
At times I felt like my negativity was seeping into my other children, husband and friends. I pretended to be upbeat and positive while scrambling for as much control as I could.
Stewart Williams – The Sun
I wanted to replace my worries with “Five things every day to be grateful for” but I felt like under such torrential rain I couldn’t feel the sun.
Thankfully, Frey has come through the worst of it, and I have got better at balancing my worries.
It’s not that I’ve become a more positive person, but more practical.
I can see what a waste of energy it is to worry about every possible scenario – and it’s certainly not on trend these days to be a pessimist.
But being “woke”, “mindful” or ‘grateful’ does not happen with the flick of a switch.
I am surrounded by people who are positive, full of good energy and I love it. I’m very lucky to have the family and friends I have.
But am I a glass half full gal?
Nope. I’m constantly dehydrated.
But I’m working on it one sunshiny step at a time . . .
