LIFE can be lonely when all your friends are coupled up and you find yourself a single parent.
New app Frolo aims to change that by hooking up single mums and dads with other lone parents in their area. So far, 4,000 people have joined the Frolo community and numbers are rising.
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Frolo founder Zoe Desmond said: “Shortly after my son Billy, who’s three, had his first birthday, his dad and I ended our relationship. Breakups are tough. But when the relationship is with your child’s other parent, for me the heartbreak and all the other emotions tied in with it were amplified. What I was not prepared for was the loneliness and isolation I would feel.
“I didn’t know any other single parents. I began to dread the weekends. I would start to panic about how to get by and fill the days.
“What I longed for was to meet people who were going through similar experiences. I assumed there must be an app or an online community to help me find this, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for. It was at that point I began to dream up the idea of Frolo.”
Here, four single mums from Leeds, who are all good friends, tell how important it is to be able to rely on other single parents.
Frolo friends
FROLO aims to connect single mums and dads with others in their area, giving access to support, guidance and advice via the news feed.
It also offers in-app private messaging and the ability to create meet-ups at local events.
The community is for all single mums and dads, whether in those circumstances through the death of a loved one, a relationship breakdown or whether you decided to go it alone via a sperm donor.
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Frolo friends
FROLO aims to connect single mums and dads with others in their area, giving access to support, guidance and advice via the news feed.
It also offers in-app private messaging and the ability to create meet-ups at local events.
The community is for all single mums and dads, whether in those circumstances through the death of a loved one, a relationship breakdown or whether you decided to go it alone via a sperm donor.
‘My friends had no idea what I was going through’
RECRUITMENT consultant Clare Miles, 41, is mum to Ellie, 15, Jonah, six, and four-year-old Jaxon. She says:
“I’VE been a single mum twice. I had my daughter Ellie in 2004 but broke up with her dad when she was three months old.
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“I was a single mum for over a year and at that time I found it very hard. Most of my friends didn’t have children and had no idea what I was going through trying to look after a baby. It was tough.
“When Ellie was 18 months old, I met a new partner and we had two boys together, Jonah and Jaxon. Sadly, that didn’t work out either and when Jaxon was nearly three I found myself single again, this time with three children.
“It’s not how you imagine your life to pan out, yet I was determined to make the most of it. My single-mum friends have really helped me to do that. They mean the world to me.
“We met via mutual friends but because we were single mums, we really hit it off. None of us has a partner to go home to and moan to, so often we’ll meet up for a coffee and chat. We chat on the phone or WhatsApp every day. We all just “get it” and there’s no need to explain ourselves.
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“We go for play dates but also go out for wine and giggles, it’s a great balance.
“Going on holiday with children can be lonely, as when they play or go to bed, there’s no one to talk to. So next year us mums hope to go away together with our kids. Being a single mum can be a lonely place, but thanks to these wonderful ladies I don’t feel that way.”
‘I didn’t know many single mums and felt very alone’
BUSINESS improvement manager Rebecca Staunton, 39, lives near Leeds with her children Darci, eight, Quinn, six, and Woody, two. She says:
“I’VE only been a single mum since May and, when it happened, most of my friends were either married or in long-term relationships. I didn’t know many single mums and felt very alone. I’ve known Clare for several years but we were both with our husbands before and didn’t see each other often so weren’t that close.
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“When I left my partner, she reached out and has been an incredible source of support.
“She introduced me to the other girls and we just gelled – we talk every day. Sometimes one of the girls will message just to check I’m OK, as it’s all still quite raw for me.
“Friends who are in marriages try to be supportive, and it’s not that they are unkind, they just don’t “get it” in the same way.
“We have mums’ nights out and it’s a great chance to let your hair down and have a giggle.
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“Our children are all quite similar in age, too, so we often meet at soft- plays centres or a park.
“It has all really helped me when it comes to getting over the break-up.
“I spend 50 per cent of my time with the children but the rest of the time I am very much alone.
“When you’re going through something like this and you haven’t got your kids around you, it can be very lonely.
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“There is a lot of stigma around being a single mum.
“It was my choice to leave my partner, so often people think I’m the bad person.
“But what I’m going through isn’t easy.
“I have to put all that aside, though, and start to rebuild my life.
“It’s these mums that are helping me do that.”
‘Meeting other single mums has helped me get my life back on track’
GEORGINA Tolson, 27, is a fashion designer and mum to two-year-old Paris. She says:
“I’VE been a single mum for 17 months. When it first happened, it was my worst nightmare and came out of the blue.
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“My partner left me when my son was only six months old. It was the last thing I ever wanted to happen.
“A lot of my friends were in long-term relationships and, though they were really supportive, they’d never been through what I was facing.
“It was hard for them to understand exactly how I was feeling.
“It’s been difficult but, over time, things have got easier – and one of the things which has really helped me get my life back on track was meeting this great bunch of single mums.
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“When I’m with them they know exactly what I’m going through, as they’ve already been through it.
“I’ve known Clare a long time, as she was my best friend’s sister, but we had never really spoken properly. We grew close when I found myself a single mum.
“Clare was great and offered me a lot of advice. Now she knows every last detail about my life. I speak to her about everything and she’s been an incredible shoulder for me to lean on.
“I met the other girls through Clare and they have all been so supportive.
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“There’s definitely a stigma around being a single mum. People think we are a problem in society and assume we have brought it all on ourselves.
“They think single mums are just young girls who had a baby too early. That’s not always the case. Single mums do a fantastic job of raising children, often with little support from day to day. What they do should be celebrated and people should think before they judge.”
‘You have to ignore the stigma and move on with life’
JILL Hamer, 40, is a self-employed property renovator and mother to Tilly, eight and Edward, six. She says:
“AS a single mum, I’ve become very close to these ladies. I know the other girls through Clare and know that being a single mum can be extremely daunting. We worry constantly. How will our kids cope? Will it damage them emotionally if Mummy and Daddy don’t live together?
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“Somehow, all of us just make it work.
“When you are on top of everything, life can feel great. At other times, we muddle through. You have all the ups and downs of being mums and we stay sane by sharing a glass of wine here and there.
“We live in a world where you are expected to get married and stay together, but life doesn’t always work that way.
“If you are in an unhappy relationship, it’s better for you and your children to get out of it.
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“You have to ignore the stigma and move on with life, making the best out of every situation.
“My kids are both non-stop comedy and both are very loving, so I’m very lucky. Tilly and Edward’s dad is still fantastic with them and I also have an amazing family. But I’d be lost without my girls.
“We all live quite near each other and one of the things I’ve learned about being a single mum is that you have to ask other people for favours, no matter how embarrassing it may be.
“Life as a single mum is getting better. There are more clubs for single mums, support groups, even holidays.
“It’s great to hear that an app is helping single mums find friends in similar situations to them – what a fabulous idea.”
