THE bubbly is slowly getting warm and is in serious danger of spillage.
As the sun deck lives up to its name, two dozen bodies are contorting into improbable shapes, while clutching glasses and trying not to slosh fizz all over their feet.
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Yes, we’re sampling champagne yoga on a 5-star river cruise ship gliding along the majestic Rhine. As you do. Or as you don’t, in my case. Because I’m taking part in the alcohol bit and giving that downward-facing dog palaver a miss.
Although it’s a bit tongue in cheek, this unusual combination seems to sum up what you get on river ship AmaMora — a lot of luxury coupled with the opportunity to have some active fun.
The high-end boutique line AmaWaterways was the first to put a “wellness host” (fitness instructor to you and me) on board, and now has one on each of its 23 vessels.
So you can indulge in that traditional cruise pastime of all-day eating, but work off some of the calories with sun-deck activities like after-lunch “digestive walks”, stretching classes, high-intensity body-pump — or even a bit of that champagne yoga.
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Although there was a fair bit of Lycra on show, the half-hour workouts were easy- going, fun, and tailored for the participants by our good- natured wellness fella — a young PE teacher from Portugal called Marcello, who was apparently really fit in both senses of the word.
The theme continued off the ship too. On most trips, which are all included in the cruise price, there were three options — Easy, Normal and Active — so guests could go at their own pace.
There were great bike tours too. The ship carries about 30 cycles and we got the chance to go off and explore the towns and villages on route, led by expert local guides.
We did a ten-mile trundle around Cologne and a 15-miler in Strasbourg. Each time we stayed ashore with our bikes to explore on our own after the tour ended.
FAIRYTALE CASTLES
For the even more adventurous, there were options of some serious hilly off-roading and, out of the saddle, a lung-busting mega-hike through the Black Forest. All of which is probably why Ama is able to boast it has the youngest average guest age of all the river cruise lines.
Our seven-day Rhine trip took us through Holland, Germany, France and Switzerland, starting off in Amsterdam and ending in Basel.
It included a stretch known as the Rhine Gorge, where we spent a glorious afternoon on deck listening to commentary from the bridge as we glided past a never-ending string of fairytale castles that pepper the spectacular scenery.
We were on the christening cruise of the AmaMora, whose sister ship has already been voted the best on Europe’s rivers. And you can see why.
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Public spaces, like the huge lounge and the restaurant, are classy and comfortable. The whole top of the ship is a massive sundeck with loungers, chairs and sunshades. There’s even a small pool with a swim-up bar.
Our favourite spot was a small table right at the front where we could watch Germany and France slip by and marvel at the huge cargo barges we passed, while enjoying a beer in the sunshine.
Cabins are beautifully designed, with larger bathrooms than on ocean ships. Most have the Ama trademark of a dual balcony — one outside and one glassed in for when the weather isn’t great.
Instead of a bog-standard in-room TV there’s an iMac with keyboard, which serves as telly, on-demand movie player, and computer so you can surf the net and catch up on emails. Classy touch.
Wifi is free and excellent throughout. That’s especially important to American guests, who were very much in the majority on our trip. In fact, Ama says it spends more on wifi than on fuel. Difficult to imagine, but true.
IN-FLOW ON RHINE
❶ Strasbourg is a faceless EU bastion full of bureaucrats? Wrong. It’s beautiful, full of pretty canals, colourful half-timbered old buildings, pavement cafes and a stunning cathedral.
❷ Basel is bonkers. Every day thousands of locals stuff their clothes into dry-sacks on their backs and hurl themselves into the fast-flowing Rhine amid the huge river barges. After a mile-long crazy river ride they climb out, get dressed and walk back.
❸ The Rhine is very much a working river and has been “canal-ified” in many places. Banks have been straightened and huge locks built to slow down the fast flow and make it suitable for commercial craft.
❹ A river cruise is a completely different experience from an ocean one, so don’t expect loads of entertainment each night. It’s calmer and much more personal. Think the Norfolk Broads on steroids.
❺ There are loads of cruise ships on Europe’s main waterways so yours may have to double park. In popular spots you may be moored four or five abreast, so expect to walk through other craft to get ashore.
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As for the food, it’s top-notch — as good as you’d find anywhere afloat, and better than most. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and afternoon snacks are included, as is the tapas you can order outside mealtimes.
At least once on the cruise every guest gets to eat for no extra cost at the Chef’s Table speciality restaurant, an airy space at the back of the ship with a unique retractable terrace for al fresco dining. There’s free wine, beer, fizz and soft drinks with all meals, plus free cocktail hour before dinner. You can even have bubbly for breakfast if you fancy it.
They’re not mean with the booze either. Every night before we left the restaurant to end the evening in the lounge or on deck under the stars, the waiter would fill our wine glasses to the brim. We rarely had to buy a drink.
And that brings me to the crew, who were the happiest, loveliest, most helpful bunch you will ever encounter on the water.
Nothing was too much trouble.
This was our first river cruise and we’d definitely do it again. I might even try the champagne yoga next time.
But I reckon they should try other stuff too.
How about pie-and-a-pint pilates? I’d be there like a shot.
GO: RHINE CRUISE
GETTING/STAYING THERE: A seven-night Enchanting Rhine cruise from Basel to Amsterdam onboard the AmaMora currently costs from £1,740pp for departure on November 11.
The price includes return flights from a choice of UK airports, transfers and full-board cruise with wine, beer and soft drinks with lunch and dinner plus a choice of excursions.
To book visit amawaterways.co.uk, call 0800 320 2336 or visit your local travel agent.
