Weddings can be stressful.
There’s the catering, flowers, venue, dress, band, first dance song – the list goes on.
But they can be even more taxing when you’re forced to speak to people you don’t like on your special day – and new research suggests this is more common than we might think.
A study from AYRE Event Solutions says that a staggering 83% of Brits invite unwanted guests to their weddings.
This also appears to be something that’s on the rise, as research in 2019 from The Stag Company showed 57% people said they invited someone to their wedding they didn’t want to come.
Now this figure is over two fifths.
The findings are particularly surprising considering how stripped-back weddings have become since the pandemic. Or at least, now people are able to use this as a reason to miss people off the list.
What’s more – according to AYRE – 17% of those polled said, moving forward, they would be happy to see the back of having to invite guests they don’t really want.
So why are people inviting guests they don’t like to their weddings?
Andrew*, 32, says that sometimes it’s not an option to leave out people you don’t like – as they’re directly linked to loved ones.
He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘There’s no way you can leave step-parents off of the invitation list, no matter how much you despise them and how often you have inwardly begged your parents to leave them as they deserve better.
‘True to form, both step-parents took a good stab at ruining our wedding reception – my dad’s partner seethed with jealousy as he mixed with people he hadn’t seen in years, some who (shock, horror) happened to be women.
‘She stormed him home with the threat of a split, meaning he missed the speeches at his first born son’s wedding. Elsewhere, as per tradition, my mum and dad entered the dancefloor after our first dance. This led to her partner sulking silently for an hour, ensuring he raided the buffet and then storming out without a word.
‘We were strategic with the wedding photos though, always ensuring that they were placed on either edge of the photos meaning that when we printed them off, we could wait for the days of the splits and then cut them off with scissors.
‘Pleased to report, the scissors have been utilised now for both sides and both my parents are much happier for it.’
While Ravi Davda says that weddings in her culture are more for loved ones – so she had little say in who did and didn’t come.
She says: ‘Im Indian and, for us, it’s about appearances. Weddings are more about pleasing families than about us. Only realised how silly this was after we got married.
‘Looking back at it, yes, having people there we didn’t know/didn’t like definitely took away from our big day. It felt like it wasn’t for us – it was more for our families.
‘We actually wanted a small wedding (100 people), but we ended up having more than 250 guests.
‘Genuinely, I didn’t even know half of them or had only met them once or twice. If I was to do it again, I’d get married outside of England and only invite close friends and family. This is what one of my cousins did and they had a great time.’
So, despite a wedding being all about the couple, it seems there are a number of reasons why many feel they have to invite those they don’t like – whether it’s ties to family or to please loved ones.
*some names have been changed
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