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Quarantine divorcees: why Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are isolating together


Names: Demi Moore and Bruce Willis.

Ages: Bruce is 65, Demi 57.

Appearance: A symbol of togetherness, in matching green-striped pyjamas.

But I thought they were divorced. This is Hollywood. Divorce is a relative term.

Yes, it means they are no longer relatives. Don’t be silly: in Los Angeles, divorce is just the start of a beautiful relationship.

I have no idea what you’re on about. That’s because you have your head stuck in a book and have not been studying Bruce and Demi’s grown-up daughter Tallulah’s Instagram account.

You’re so right. I’m finding Tolstoy a great comfort during the lockdown. Well, that’s why you’ve missed a fantastic picture posted by Tallulah showing her mum and dad embracing while giving a thumbs-up as they quarantine together.

Isn’t that a bit weird? Look, it may seem weird to you, sitting at home eating beans on toast and reading Tolstoy in your flat in Cheam, but Hollywood A-listers do things differently. Why shouldn’t Bruce, Demi, their three daughters, two of the daughters’ boyfriends, some unidentified bloke and lots of Demi’s small dogs isolate en masse and post pictures on social media of them all wearing fetching pyjamas? Even the dogs!

No reason. It’s just I thought they had been divorced for years. They divorced in 2000; Willis married the model Emma Heming in 2009. Willis and Heming have two daughters together.

Is Heming also seen in her pyjamas? Strangely enough, no, but she is unconcerned about her husband quarantining with his ex-wife, responding to the picture with the comment: “Not many can pull that color off! Lookin good squad.”

Do Moore and Heming get on well? Like sisters, apparently. Moore attended Willis and Heming’s wedding, and was there again when they renewed their vows in 2019.

She’s clearly good at not harbouring a grudge. “It’s a funny thing to say, but I’m very proud of our divorce,” Moore wrote last year in her bestselling memoir, Inside Out.

What are they doing in their mass isolation? Moore has had a few issues in the past with substance abuse, and that put a strain on her relationship with her daughters. That’s over now and this is a great opportunity to continue their renewed relationship. Moore once revealed to the New York Times that she and her daughters are very into “spiritual psychology” and “soul-centred living”.

Beats Scrabble, I suppose. What a very Cheam remark.

Do say: “What a wonderfully heartwarming story in these dark times.”

Don’t say: “You don’t think they did it just to sell the fancy pyjamas, do you?”





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