A DESPERATE mum has taken to the internet for advice after her husband appeared to suggest she “have an abortion” as he doesn’t want to cut down on his gym time to look after the kids.
The mum-of-one took to Reddit to explain she’s currently six weeks pregnant, adding that the news came as a surprise to the couple, who already have a 15-month-old.
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“I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant and have a 15 month old,” she explained.
“This pregnancy is a surprise and honestly, I wasn’t sure we should have another, because we had a rough go with our first.
“During the newborn phase, I was SO exhausted. I was breastfeeding, baby had colic… I do not easily fall asleep and I was roughly getting 2.5 hours of sleep a night for a good 3-5 weeks.
“My husband had cut back his gym time once the baby was here, but was still going 3-5 times during the week.”
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The mum explained that her husband was “silently ticked off” when she asked him not to go to the gym, explaining that they often disagreed over whether he was pulling his weight.
“One Saturday I got up to pump. They were both awake, he said he was going to head to the gym and I started crying saying ‘please, can you let me sleep a little bit more – she was up all night and I got maybe three hours of sleep’ and he got p****d.
“I told him that it must be nice to even have the ENERGY to go to the gym. The ONLY thing I wanted to be able to do was sleep.
“I got the response ‘I’m sorry you hate being a mum!'”
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Now that the couple are expecting another baby, the mum mentioned he would have to cut down on the gym to make time for the new arrival.
And it did not go down well, with the husband telling her she “needed to think about whether she wanted the baby”.
“I told him he was going to have to help out more and probably not go to the gym as much. Well, he did not receive this kindly,” she explained.
“He texted me the next day: ‘Just to be clear, I feel like I do a lot. I will not be able to help out with daycare, as I drive a work truck and cannot have another passenger in my car.
“‘I will continue to go to the gym, because health is important to me and I need to go to relieve stress.
“‘The reason you’re so stressed is because you choose to hold and entertain our daughter all the time, while I think it’s OK to let her cry if she’s bored. You need to think about if you want this baby.’
“I f***ing lost it. I said: ‘I cannot believe you would rather me have an abortion than make any more sacrifices regarding your gym time.’ But he is adamant that I am the selfish one.”
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And Reddit users were utterly fuming, with one writing: “The comments he has made regarding your needs are truly disgusting.
“Saying that he lets you ‘sleep in’? There is no such thing as sleeping in when you have kids that young, as I assume there is usually a routine to the days.
“His gym time is way less important than your health when it comes to sleep.
“You ‘choose’ to entertain the daughter? Kids get lonely just like adults, and the only thing they can do is ask for help (cry), and he thinks it’s okay to just let her cry? That’s bad parenting.”
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While another wrote: “I honestly could not stay with a dude who thinks suggesting you hate being a mum and should get an abortion because his gym time is threatened is in any way okay.”
Another commented: “He is not helping he is parenting. The children are not something he helps with they are a shared responsibility.
“The entire ‘husband is helping out’ and the job belongs to the woman is purest grade A BS.
“He is one of two parents. You get the heavy haul during pregnancy and he can step up and partner.”
Others suggested the husband find a gym that offers childcare, so he can take the kids with him.
While another dad in a similar situation stepped in to offer his views: “I understand your husband’s feelings because I too loved to work out six days a week for health reasons, de-stressing and fitness goals, and I was annoyed that I could not keep the same schedule of my leisure activities.
“But it has to change. Our daughter was exhausting that first year, never being able to put down, long feedings, forever to go to sleep (and she never stayed in the crib for more than five minutes) and there was no justification for me to get free time that was impossible for my wife to get.”
What would you do?
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