Lifestyle

Parody Amazon site lets you ‘order a date’ this Valentine’s Day


Cora commands a higher price due to her great taste in hats (Picture: Amazon)

What’s in your Amazon basket right now? If there isn’t any potential Valentine’s presents for your beau, that might mean it’s a better idea to switch to Amazon Dating.

The parody site – created by director and conceptual artist Ani Acopian and music producer and writer Suzy Shinn – looks exactly like the shopping behemoth, but instead of goods, you can ‘buy’ dates.

The tabs are slightly different. For example, if you click the ‘Your Last Relationship’ button, you’ll be greeted with a video of Britney Spears’ Toxic.

Or, if you click on to Prime Video, you’ll be directed to Chatroulette.

Sadly for those of you after a date, it’s just a joke site, and isn’t actually affiliated with Amazon at all.

Matan is lactose intolerant and knows the words to one Lizzo song (Picture: Amazon Dating)

The website’s FAQ page reads:

Q: Is this for real?

A: No.

Q: How does it work?

A. It doesn’t.

Q: What happens after I give you my money?

A: You don’t!

Q: Why?

A: Because we like to take the joke too far.

Most of the people you’re browsing, however, are very real, and Ani and Suzi themselves have even labelled themselves as ‘Amazon’s Choice’.

Each person has their own list of attributes for you to choose from.

For example, 30-year-old Grace ($39.95) had a “live laugh love” tattoo removed and believes that being “on-time” has a fifteen-minute window.

26-year-old Rizky ($299.99) likes to be called daddy, will probably leave you for Halsey when he becomes famous, and like Billie Eilish, also doesn’t know who Van Halen is.

The best part of it all is that you can apply to be part of Amazon Dating. If you’re tired of swiping and want to get your profile out there, this could be the ideal option.

The reviews you get, however, are completely out of your control. Lets hope you keep your five star rating.

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