As Hollywood prepared to launch its 233rd reboot into our orifices, whether we like it or not, I have to wonder – why on earth do we not have an E.T. The Extra Terrestrial reboot?
It’s one of the biggest Hollywood classics, yet remains untouched by the money-grabbing hands of salivating executives who are all about rebooting box office winners.
Last week my love of the extra terrestrial with a penchant for racking up extortionate phone bills calling home was reignited after Sky released its Christmas ad.
Bringing Henry Thomas, who was the original Elliott in Steven Spielberg’s 1982 film, back into the fold to catch up with his old mate, it’s like the alien dude never left our lives.
The 80s movie delighted audiences at the time, while still freaking out the kids and making sure they never snooped around the back shed. It became the highest-grossing film ever, a record it held for over a decade.
It’s nearly been 40 years since the film was first released, with a seven-year-old Drew Barrymore winning our hearts as the adorable Gertie. Every day people are holding a pointed finger up and demanding in a nasally voice they ‘phone home’, while countless others continue to wrap their dog/child in a white sheet and plonk them in their bike’s basket for the world’s cheapest and easiest Halloween costume.
The little guy has a hold over the pop culture conversation still.
Now – just in time for Christmas – E.T. has come back, albeit in a flurry of capitalism and commercialisation for an ad campaign.
Quite a lot has changed since we last saw him. Almost four decades later and both Elliott and the extra terrestrial have settled down and had families of their own. But the story remained the same, as Elliott’s kids find E.T. lurking in the garden behind a snowman.
After letting out bloodcurdling screams, their concerned dad rushes out to help, but he quickly becomes overjoyed with happiness when he sees his long-lost pal standing right before him.
‘You came back?!’ he cries.
As I dramatically weep into a tissue, I can’t help but wonder why an E.T. reboot is the one Hollywood hasn’t touched yet.
They’ve rebooted every other film, from Child’s Play, to the The Lion King, embarking on Home Alone 2.0, while A Star Is Born has been re-done about 43 times – what gives with no E.T., Hollywood?
Why are you holding out on us, Spielberg?
Last year Henry Thomas assumed Steven wanted to keep his classic as it was, and not risk stuffing it up for new audiences. And, sure, as we’ve seen, rebooting a box office winner doesn’t automatically mean the gold river will keep flowing *cough* Charlies Angels *cough*. So we can understand what you mean, mate.
‘I don’t think Steven Spielberg wants to touch it,’ Thomas previously said on the matter.
‘And I know he won’t let anyone else. You don’t want to cheapen the original. As soon as we’re all dead, I’m sure they’ll revamp it.’
Still, the advertising execs will give it a whirl for an ad and it certainly seems to have worked, with punters beside themselves with joy at the glimpse of E.T.’s life decades on.
It did make me think, as someone who mostly loathes a Hollywood remake with no real purpose, that this was a smart move to keep the intrigue and love for the original going as long as one can as we (me) all sit there pontificating on whether a reboot will come about before probably changing our (my) minds and hating that a reboot has come about.
Can you even beat the original E.T.? Nevermind regurgitating the story, his clunky charm was what we loved, with his slightly-shoddy-by-today’s-standards special effects.
You just know there would be a war of words online comparing E.T.’s CGI (because I doubt they’ll use a human to man the costume, like they did back in the day) to Detective Pikachu, or arguing whether E.T.’s eyes are close enough together, because apparently that’s a thing to argue about these days in the world of film.
And who would play Drew’s Gertie? That’s a role you just can’t beat with another actor.
Or, perhaps, smartly, the film might pick up where Sky left off in its ad, by merely adding a sequel rather then rebooting completely – meaning Thomas can make a grand film comeback and perhaps Barrymore will wistfully return to scream down the house.
As you can tell, I’m madly divided over whether E.T. even needs to make a comeback, living safe in the nostalgic 80s where no one can do him harm or ruin his story.
Whether or not the creature makes another appearance on our screens remains to be seen, but it’s abundantly clear the love of our little man from beyond has not left us just yet.
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