Parenting

No-one has the right to tell me my son should know his dad – especially those without kids


AS ANY mum knows, there’s nothing more infuriating than receiving unsolicited parenting advice – especially from those without kids.

Single mum-of-one Amy Nickell, 28, from Berkhamsted, Herts, says her childless friends absolutely love dishing out advice – and some have even rudely suggested her son Freddy, four, is missing out by not having a dad.

 Single mum Amy Nickell wants childless people to keep their parenting advice to themselves

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Single mum Amy Nickell wants childless people to keep their parenting advice to themselves

Here, Amy tells Fabulous Digital why childless people need to keep their opinions to themselves…

There are few areas of life where even those with zero experience are experts. One is parenting, the other is the free weights section in the gym.

Everyone has an opinion on what you should be doing with your kids, despite most of their ‘hands on experience’ coming from watching Supernanny.​

As a single mum, I’m constantly told “I think it’s best for a child to know their dad”.

I get it all the time – with the one instance that stands out in my mind coming from a very good male friend.

You know, I didn’t plan this whole single mum thing. There was a second party, of course.

But he chose to not be involved – it was totally out of my control.

I haven’t spoken to him since I was three months’ pregnant – so you’re probably best to save this wisdom for him.

Freddy’s biological dad chose not to appear on his birth certificate and Freddy understands families come in all shapes and sizes.

“Where’s my Daddy?” was the question I always expected to break my heart.

By the time Freddy turned three, he had asked me that question I so feared – and I told him: “Well, only some families have Daddy’s and we haven’t got one.”

He barely batted an eyelid and carried on playing with his toys. His attitude is the same as if you ask him if he has a sibling.

Freddy’s dad chose not to be involved, so you’re best saving that pearl of wisdom for him

Amy Nickell, 28, from Berkhamstead, Herts

But I know I’m not the only mum being judged for my choices in parenting style. 

Take Kim Kardashian for example.

Every time the reality star posts a typically sexy selfie, women all over Britain – none of them mums – are quick to cry “but she’s a mother!”

From my own mates, this soon evolved into: “I won’t be clubbing when I’m a mum. It’s so cringe.”

Erm, I’m no Mystic Meg but I’ll bet my crystal ball that you will very much still be falling out of Yates at kicking out time.

Only this time you’ll be ten times more drunk because you only get out once a year.

Last year, the average age to have children was 29. That’s fairly young to be hanging up your dancing shoes forever.

To be honest, us mums are all pretty cringe – not just the ones of us that are forking out to the overpaid babysitter waiting at home. 

So please keep your opinions to yourselves while us mums are knee-deep in nappies – and you’re thinking about your next night out.

These people should be punished with the worst imaginable earthly reality: hungover child caring. 

 Amy says she's constantly hit with similar comments - including why she shouldn't go clubbing anymore, despite being just 28

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Amy says she’s constantly hit with similar comments – including why she shouldn’t go clubbing anymore, despite being just 28

Prince Harry joined the ranks of those doling out parenting advice for the nation’s Mums and Dads when he lectured parents on protecting their kids from ‘addictive’ Fortnite last week.

Prince Harry, father of… none. Yep, one of those childless beings, telling us how it’s done. Stomping in with their easy breezy tips, as if a child is as simple as a Baby Born doll. ​

Unfortunately, that isn’t exactly the case so please, pipe down, Princey, back to the Palace with you.

I may never go on a trampoline again, so until you face an equally debilitating reality and know every Gigglebiz line verbatim, leave the parenting suggestions to the parents. ​

These people should be punished with the worst imaginable earthly reality: hungover child caring

Amy Nickell, 28, from Berkhamsted, Herts,

I haven’t ever been a royal. I won’t be giving Harry any advice on his services to the crown or his little wave, so could he perhaps think twice before he doles out advice to the parents of the UK. ​

It is impossible for Prince to know what it’s like to be a normal person – let alone a normal parent.

Likewise, it’s impossible for a non-parent to know what its like to be a parent.​

Having been both a mum and a non-mum, I’m kind of an expert on this.

Although I used to like to think having nephews was equal to my own child – the last four and a half years of actual parenting have taught me I had no idea.​

This morning, my son had a 20 minute tantrum because I wouldn’t let him take an empty egg box in the bath with him.

Just how can anyone understand that until they’ve lived it?​

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From a blog for @babycentre…When I used to see children at at festivals, I judged and thought how unsuitable such a landscape was for anyone under 18. I was young, hungover and ignorant, and I’m sorry. “You may as well take them to Fabric” I would think, surmising a family ticket a surefire fast track to the government safeguarding department. This year, however, i was accompanied to @shambalafest by my three-year-old sidekick, plonked in family camping and actually bought a programme for the first time ever. When your eyes are open before 1pm and not stuck together with last night’s mascara, you realise how much is really on offer. Which finally explains the ticket price. Think every possible type of food, storytelling tents, political talks, comedy and magic AT THE SAME TIME, a feckin’ orchestra. It was a cultural education in the space of a weekend. Obviously, you have to select your festival carefully. I doubt I would have had the same epiphany at Reading and Leeds. Your festival days don’t end when you have kids, they expand and attach another, even more, exciting layer. Plus, the only thing between you and the mainstage is a pair of ear defenders and achy shoulders. The child I dragged in was not the one I drove home with. Sometimes shy, especially with new children, by the end he was at the front of the kids’ talent show providing definite heart explosion material that is now a treasured permanent fixture in the ol’ memory box. Consider me a fully fledged family festival convert. . . . @shambalafest #singlemum #singlemom #singlemother #singleparent #singleparenting #familyfestivals #festivalreview #shambala #kidsfestivals #soloparenting #soloparent #solomum #singlemumlife #singlemumsclub #singlemumlife #singlemomsrock #singleparentlife #singleparenting #mumliferocks

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Mums, particularly single mums, are working more hours than ever making less money than ever. So some slack would be nice.

I won’t critique your personal struggles so please, lay off mine.​

I’ve personally had this classic invited input countless times, from total strangers, in train carriages, in Café Nero and, of course, on every parent’s most dreaded method of transport – the plane.

The childless seem to sense chaos.

Rampaging toddlers invite the assumption that parental control has been lost and your parenting needs to be questioned.

Your kid is just being a kid but the uninitiated will confidentially proceed: “Are you really going to let him get away with that?”

In reality, probably not – but is it really any of your business?

The dynamic between a child and their parent is more complex than Brexit and you’ve equal chance of truly understanding either.​

This advice, like Harry’s, is for the most part well-intentioned. So I tend to just chuck in a bucket of salt to avoid any confrontation. ​

By far the worst part is how massively offended the childless get over the suggestion they can’t understand until they have their own children.​

But I find they tend to apologise a couple of months after the birth of their own kids, finally admitting: “Sorry, I really had no idea.”

Thanks for the input Haz, but until you’ve prized the grip of a squawking three-year-old off of a salad bar in a packed Harvester, we’ll make our own parenting decisions, ta. ​

Amy previously revealed the brutal reality of her post-baby body, including bean bag boobs, a not-so-designer vagina and still lactating nearly five YEARS after giving birth.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry went on a three-night £33k ‘babymoon’ with romantic walks and cosy dinners





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