10th over: England 23-0 (Burns 15, Sibley 8) Southee and Boult have offered these two nothing to cut – until now, when Southee drops short and Burns slaps him away for four.
Meanwhile, an unusual email comes in. “I am so happy to hear some Test cricket again,” says James Piggott. “Since the fifth Ashes Test I’ve become a dad – my wife and I adopted two young girls – and my life has been turned upside down, in a mostly positive way. What with that, the World Cup final and the second Headingley miracle, 2019 has been one of the more memorable years. Listening to a bit of late-night TMS (and following the OBO of course) is a welcome taste of my old life. I may eat my words but I like the current line-up a lot. As long as enough of them aren’t hopelessly out of form there’s enough grit and muscle in the top and middle order to reach 400+ regularly.” Oof. Many congrats on the girls.
9th over: England 19-0 (Burns 11, Sibley 8) At last! Another single, as Burns, facing Boult, plays a chunky push past gully. The camera zooms in on him to reveal a moustache, presumably in honour of Movember. It wouldn’t have been out of place in World War I.
8th over: England 18-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 8) Sibley continues to join the dots, 21 of them now, and wafts worryingly at one from Southee that’s too far down leg. But then another half-volley turns up and he puts it through midwicket. You can feel his relief from the other side of the world.
7th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Boult beats Burns again, without the nick, and that’s the fourth maiden in a row. In seven overs, England have taken two singles, one of which was madness. This pair, who used to share a car when Sibley was still at Surrey, may need to work on that. But they’ve already made one viewer happy.
“Whisper it,” says Sachin Paul. “In a tiny teeny voice. Don’t these two resemble the solid Cook-Compton duo from India 2012? How I’ve missed having two real openers!”
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6th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Southee again, Sibley again, maiden again. There was one half-volley but Sibley couldn’t pierce the ring.
5th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Boult is the bowler Sam Curran could be in five years’ time – boyish but senior. He gives Burns “the best ball of the morning,” as Ian Smith calls it, and appeals for caught behind. Not given, or reviewed, but… there seems to have been a tickle. “Oh man,” says Smith. “It’s made a mark on the bat.”
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4th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Sibley sees out a maiden from Southee. He’s got through 11 balls now, the last ten of them dots, but that’s what he has been brought in for.
“Doesn’t Test cricket look beautiful?” asks Gary Naylor. It sure does.
3rd over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Burns keeps Boult out for four balls, then cashes in – an on push for four, a tuck for four more. The outfield is on the batsmen’s side.
Time for a word from John Starbuck. “Good evening. Jack Leach at 10 means Stuart Broad at 11, which must not have been in his career plan. He was once touted as a no 8, after all; but then, so many Englishmen have. TMS have described this ground as ‘shiny’. Any evidence for that?” Not as yet.
“Hi,” says Penelope Dening, “please could you flag up the link that allows TMS to be heard abroad, in my case France?” Hoping to throw that one out to your fellow far-flung fans.
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2nd over: England 6-0 (Burns 2, Sibley 4) Burns, facing Tim Southee, tucks into the on side and sets off for a single that is best described as homicidal. If the throw had hit, Sibley would have been left high and dry with that strike rate of 400. He dives, survives, dusts himself off and sees out the over with more leaves than prods. His stance is bum-out, which makes two of them.
“Aaaaah Test cricket,” says Guy Hornsby, “we’ve missed you. And it’s against the best opponents in the world. Plenty to be excited about too. I really hope Sibley survives to this being printed.” He has. “Or at least until lunch. This batting line-up is peak potential v reality.”
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1st over: England 5-0 (Burns 1, Sibley 4) Trent Boult bowls the first ball in a Test at Mount Maunganui, under a royal-blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds. It’s a bouncer, smartly ducked by Rory Burns. After that, Boult pitches it up and gets some swing, so Williamson gives him a fifth man in the cordon. Burns edges one, but low, and inside-edges another, which squirts away for a single. And Sibley – who has the air of an amiable giant – gets a straight half-volley, swinging gently back into him, which he puts away, crisply. His Test strike rate is 400.
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And here’s Simon McMahon. “Evening Tim. Let’s ring that OBO bell, and play cricket. God knows we need it right now.” A pep talk! Thank you.
An email! “Good morning/evening, Tim,” says Ian Forth. “You seem to have missed an exclamation mark. Jack Leach promoted to 10 in the order! Perhaps, like Wilfred Rhodes, he’ll start his first Test at 11 and end up opening.” Hasn’t he done that already?
News round-up. There’s no wind, contrary to what some idiots have been suggesting. The pitch, in another setback for the armchair pundit, isn’t as green as it was two days ago. And Jofra Archer has been loosening up by riding a Segway round the outfield. The commentators are torn between a smile (he’s so relaxed!) and a po face (what if he got hurt?). Archer, true to form, looked as if he’d been doing it all his life.
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So the big question is, can England last more than 21 overs? And the medium-sized question is, can Dom Sibley get going right away?
Here’s how England’s new openers have done in their first Test innings over the past four years. Hales 10, Duckett 14, Hameed 31, Jennings 112, Stoneman 8, Burns 9, Denly 6, Roy 5. Moral of the story: if you want to stay in the frame, don’t get into double figures.
Teams: no surprises
Kane Williamson, honest enough to say he would have batted too, confirms that he’s sticking with the team announced yesterday, and so is Root. These sides were separated at birth, weren’t they?
New Zealand 1 Jeet Raval, 2 Tom Latham, 3 Kane Williamson (capt), 4 Ross Taylor, 5 Henry Nicholls, 6 BJ Watling (wkt), 7 Colin de Grandhomme, 8 Mitch Santner, 9 Tim Southee, 10 Neil Wagner, 11 Trent Boult.
England 1 Rory Burns, 2 Dominic Sibley, 3 Joe Denly, 4 Joe Root (capt), 5 Ben Stokes, 6 Ollie Pope, 7 Jos Buttler (wkt), 8 Sam Curran, 9 Jofra Archer, 10 Jack Leach, 11 Stuart Broad.
Toss: England win and bat
Joe Root calls heads, it is, and he knows what he wants. “Hopefully bat long.”
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Preamble
Evening everyone, morning everyone else, and welcome to the OBO’s first Test series of 2019-20. It’s only two games and it doesn’t count towards the new Test Championship, but apart from that it’s looking worthy of a few exclamation marks. Two teams that have become inseparable! Jofra Archer’s first Test overseas! Dominic Sibley’s international debut! The return of Kane Williamson! And Ollie Pope! Chris Silverwood’s first Test as coach! Mount Maunganui’s first Test full stop! Seven hours without having to think about Prince Andrew!
The forecast is for 20 degrees and “sunny to partly cloudy”, which should make both sides feel at home. To sunny and cloudy we can probably add windy and noisy, as Maunganui, which becomes only the ninth Test venue in New Zealand, is perched on a promontory, next to an airport. England played New Zealand there only last year, and won. But that was Eoin Morgan’s one-day team, buccaneering for Blighty. This is the Test side, under a new boss who wants them to remember how to be boring. It will be fascinating to see if they manage it.
The ball is the Kookaburra – the bore’s best friend – not the king of all, the Dukes. But it could be countered by the pitch, which looks green. And the last time they embarked on a Test series in New Zealand, 20 months ago, England were all out before Williamson had time to change the bowling. So New Zealand are favourites, but pretty much anything can happen. Play starts at 10pm GMT: see you just after 9.30 for the toss and teams.