A NEW mum shared a list of rules that she has sent to family and friends who want to visit her newborn son in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic.
Lola Jimenez, 33, from London, warned her would-be guests that they would need to adhere to her wishes, or they would be immediately asked to leave.
The mum, who welcomed her first son Daniel in August, entered a period of isolation to protect both herself and her unborn baby in the run up to his birth due to Covid.
And Lola, who admits she has been desperate to have a baby for years, said she wasn’t prepared to take any risks with Daniel’s health.
She shared her nine restrictions on her Instagram page, where she has 9,082 followers, and sent them via text to friends and family – and she admitted she didn’t get many replies.
Lola said: “I chose not to have the covid vaccine during pregnancy, and so Daniel wouldn’t have had any immunity.
“Due to all the talk of another wave and the kids going back to school around the time that Daniel was due, I thought it was the best way to keep him safe to have restrictions.
“My main aim was to protect my baby and not have to have any awkward conversations in person.
“Even pre-covid I have seen friends and family in uncomfortable situations feel like they can’t ask people to hand their baby back or not to kiss their baby on the face/mouth, and I didn’t want to have any confrontation, so made my ‘rules’ very clear from the get go.”
New mum Lola shared the rule letter that she emailed to her family and friends with her Instagram make_me_a_mummy.
However, she admitted that she didn’t receive many replies from her family and friends after sending out the letter.
But she wanted to encourage other mums to know their own boundaries and feel comfortable.
She said: “I didn’t get too many replies. A few made jokes about my list, and others said they were completely willing to comply.
“I’m sure there were a few laughs behind closed doors though! But we haven’t actually had visitors yet!
“We are still only seeing our ‘core support bubble’ who are all being very cautious for Daniel’s sake. With just one exception where all rules were followed, we haven’t seen anyone outside of our support network.”
To those that think my rules are too strict, I’d say that it’s up to me how I choose to keep my baby safe and I am the only person responsible for him.
Her letter read: “It is almost time for my precious baby boy to make his grand entrance into the world – just a few weeks left to go now.
“As I have chosen not to receive the covid vaccine during my pregnancy I am entering a period of isolation to protect both me and my baby in the run up to his birth.
“This just means I won’t be accepting visitors outside of my immediate support network for now, however once he has arrived I also have very specific ideas about how I plan to keep him safe from covid and any other risks.
“I have detailed these below to avoid any awkward conversations later and I trust that you will all respect my wishes.”
Lola explained that a lot of her online followers are new mums and pregnant mums-to-be and therefore, she received lots of messages in support of her post.
She said many had questioned what was and what wasn’t ok to ask of visitors – and expressed their anxiety about how to ask for space.
The new mum said: “I also had lots of women who already had their children saying how they wish they had had the courage to send a similar message out when they had their own children.
Please do not assume that just because you have been invited to visit that you will get the chance to hold the baby. It is very unlikely that I will want to pass him around until he is bigger and has a stronger immune system.
“To those that think my rules are too strict, I’d say that it’s up to me how I choose to keep my baby safe and I am the only person responsible for him.
“Whilst there are many people upset that they haven’t been able to meet him yet, his safety comes before other people’s feelings as far as I’m concerned.”
Lola revealed she doesn’t know if all new mums should have a set of rules – but said it’s important that all mums feel comfortable.
She said all new mums should certainly know their own boundaries and not be made to feel uncomfortable when they try to enforce them.
The new mum added: “If it helps to write a list or send a message setting expectations, then why not!”
Lola’s list of rules for visitors
1. We will not be accepting general visitors outside of our immediate support network in the first few weeks of coming home.
2. When we do start having visitors, we will need them to remove shoes, outside clothing (like jackets, hoodies), and wash hands with soap and sanitizer.
3. If we have said that it’s okay for you to visit, we ask that you take a lateral flow test on the day and send a photo to show that it’s negative. It goes without saying that if you test positive or if you feel at all unwell, then you MUST reschedule your visit.
4. Our new home is a non-smoking home, and we also ask that visitors do not smoke (even outside) for the entire duration of their visit and at least an hour before arriving. (If you stink of smoke you won’t be allowed to hold the baby, and don’t be surprised as you may be asked to leave).
5. Please don’t show up drunk to meet the baby. You won’t be allowed in.
6. Please do not assume that just because you have been invited to visit that you will get the chance to hold the baby. It is very unlikely that I will want to pass him around until he is bigger and has a stronger immune system.
7. If you are lucky enough to get some cuddles on your visit, please do not kiss the baby. Until he is bigger there is to be no kissing, and even then nobody is to kiss his face, hands, or feet. This goes for everyone and there will be no exceptions on this request.
8. We do not require guests to buy us presents, but if you wish to bring a gift please do not purchase second hand goods (we would prefer you just bring yourself!).
We are not adverse to hand-me-downs and we have already received lots of lovely nice things from our friends/family but only mummy gets to decide where we accept worn or used goods from.
9. Finally, mum knows best. If mummy says no, asks for her baby back, or wants guests to leave for any reason, then please just do so without a fuss.
She finished the post with: “I know there are a lot of requests here, but I think that they are all very reasonable and easy to follow.
“None of the above is up for debate, and so if you aren’t sure you can comfortably follow these instructions then please don’t ask to visit.
“If you think you can, then we are really excited about meeting you all when the time is right! Lots of Love, Lola and Baby D (the bump)!”
Previously we told how a wedding guest who was shocked as a “tacky” bride and groom demanded cash instead of a present… so what would YOU do?
While this Mumsnet user blasted her neighbours who have NEVER even invited her in for a cup of tea – but come round to her house for parties twice a year.
And this pregnant woman revealed the list of rules for family to follow when they visit her newborn baby… and people were outraged.