Nelson's Column: why Becky Long-B is wrong about getting rid of the House of Lords

Just 24 hours after Labour leadership contender Rebecca Long-Bailey called for the abolition of the House of Lords, the Lords demonstrated why it should be abolished.

Defeated Richmond Park Tory Zac Goldsmith was ennobled, in fake white fur to show he’s green, becoming Baron Goldsmith of Richmond Park.

Nicky Morgan also dolled up in ermine.

This will enable Zak to continue as Environment Minister and Nicky as Culture Secretary .

That abuses Parliament.

The Lords should not be a convenience store for failed MPs (Zac) or fed up ones (NIcky) to pursue political careers.

Nor should it be a retirement home for clapped out MPs weary of facing voters.

It should be a revising chamber made up of world-renowned experts and the nation’s best brains.

Zac and Nicky joined a club ripping at the seams with 796 members, 21 created in the last six months alone as jobsworths for life.

They get subsidised food and booze, a warm place at our expense to sleep them off, and £313 a day tax free just for clocking in.

It’s easier to get a peerage than an MBE. Just ingratiate yourself with Boris Johnson in whose gift it is.

All that bolsters Becky Long-B’s case for scrapping it. No one designing a new Parliament for an emerging democracy would have the Lords.

But the UK is not emerging. She has emerged.

And evolved.

And once bricks start being chiseled out of her 700 year old constitutional wall she might collapse.

A Royal Commission into the Lords chaired by Tory grandee John Wakeham conceded including 26 bishops was bonkers – making Britain and Iran the only countries automatically allowing clergy to be legislators.

But Wakeham warned of “unpredictable consequences” of chucking bishops out.

Such as Church and State separating thus removing the Queen as head of the C of E.

That would demolish a cornerstone of the Monarchy, and could lead to its abolition, too.

Ending the hereditary principle finally would drive another nail into the Royal Family’s coffin.

Better then to reform the Lords than ditch it.

But not with an elected second chamber in hock to party machines.

Instead cap peer numbers at 600 by getting rid of 196 who cost £108million a year, enough to fund 4,100 more nurses.

What we need is wise heads on experienced shoulders.

So more Robert Winstons, please, for health, Chiefs of the General Staff like Richard Dannatt on defence, and ex-Met commissioners such as Ian Blair on policing.

Unless, of course, you’d prefer to replace the UK with the Republic of Great Britain.

Under our very own President Hell BJ.

Climate of fear

The smoke from Australia’s devastating bush fires has now reached South America 4,000 miles away.

And scientists say this is what a world 3C above pre-industrial levels would look like.

Which is why we must curb climate change by ensuring we meet the 2030 target of keeping increases down to 1.5C.

I’ve just come back from Lapland in the Arctic Circle where temperatures are at the other end of the thermometer.

But they’re still too high at – 5C.

To huskies that’s high summer and they overheat running the sleds.

They’d much prefer – 20C or lower.

There’s still plenty of snow in Lapland but locals told me it no longer compacts the way it did because it melts too quickly.

And plants and animals in the pine forests which blanket this part of Finland are out of synch.

Everywhere I look nowadays I can see the climate is changing.

Causing my previous climate change scepticism to thaw with the ice.

Dom makes clean sweep of Whitehall

As soon as Brexit is done and dusted Boris Johnson’s houseboy Dominic Cummings intends to take a witch’s broom to Whitehall.

DExEU will be abolished next month, and other departments merged.

But key to Brexit success will be how to deal with ending free movement which is where the Immigration minister comes in.

This was a Cabinet-level appointment until Boris downgraded it and put junior minister Seema Kennedy in charge.

She was run ragged by the demands of the job so gave up politics altogether, resigning her 11,000 majority seat at December’s election.

Another junior, Kevin Foster, replaced her.

This is madness.

Immigration is a massive portfolio warranting a department of its own.

Apart from people coming and going it involves border security, passports, visas, asylum, detention and the EU settlement scheme.

And it needs an experienced minister of Cabinet stature – with a tough hide – to cope with it.

A good day to bury bad news

Labour’s Sir Mark Hendrick wanted to know how many bodies are being buried without coffins.

Justice minister Wendy Morton said she didn’t have the information.

Someone must have, um, buried it.

Commons is a right old Eton mess

Tory Kwarsi Kwarteng was overheard saying: “These are the worst election results for the school in 400 years.”

My snout took the ‘school’ to mean Eton where the business minister was educated with fellow alma mateys Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg.

And there were too few new old Etonian MPs for his liking.

Don’t Byrne this MP for a gag, Dave

When Labour lost in 2010, outgoing Treasury Secretary Liam Byrne left a note for his successor saying. “There’s no money left.”

David Cameron misrepresented the joke to make political capital out of it.

When Labour MP Karl Turner vacated his Commons office last week he wrote:

“Dear new occupant.

“We didn’t get our hands on the money. But I’m told there’s none left.

Good luck.”

Another JOKE , Dave. Get it?