Sex with my boyfriend couldn’t be better. We’re compatible; we like the same things and enjoy sharing our wildest fantasies. I love seeing his face, the way his cheeks turn red when his heart is racing.
But we’ve spent the past three months apart while I study for a master’s on another continent and he stays at home working. Before that, I’d been selected for a summer programme abroad. If the relationship lasts (which we hope it will) we’ll be apart for two years, with only occasional visits to see each other. He’s the most easy-going and amazing partner I could imagine. We didn’t want to stop being partners – so we discovered long-distance sex.
At first, we didn’t think it was for us. Then, a conversation about how uncomfortable we found sexting quickly developed into us swapping the horniest messages we could think of. From there, we progressed to FaceTime sex, which has meant that intimacy is still an essential part of our lives together.
Being in a long-distance relationship, I’ve learned how to experience pleasure all over again. Before this, it had been a long time since I’d had the urge to masturbate. I used to when I was first discovering my sexuality, but forgot about it as soon as I started having sexual partners. Phone sex has reconnected me with my own body and pleasure.
But it’s also made me feel connected to my boyfriend, which is what sex is all about. Not only penetration and orgasm – but the need to do it with someone else. Even when you’re 6,000 miles apart.
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