Relationship

My life in sex: ‘The Bible doesn’t speak of polygamy for women, but it works wonders for me’


I was raised in a traditional evangelical home and my husband and I were virgins when we married. Every Christian marriage book and seminar had made it seem as though men always wanted sex and wives should submit to that. But my husband had a significantly lower libido. I was baffled and felt rejected.

After more than a decade of counselling, medication for depression, prayer and fighting, nothing seemed to solve this issue. My husband is wonderful, but this one issue left me feeling lonely, undesirable and depressed. Then an old friend approached me: he wasn’t in the headspace to be romantically involved with anyone but, like me, craved sexual intimacy. So, with my husband’s blessing, I am now engaging in polyandry: one woman, two men.

The Bible does speak of polygamy, accepting that a man can have multiple wives or concubines – but not the other way around. I won’t justify my actions in any religious context. But I will say that this arrangement has done wonders for my physical and mental health. I still have sex with my husband, and our relationship couldn’t be better. I am grateful.

• Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com. All submissions are published anonymously, and subject to our terms and conditions.

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