A WOMAN has revealed how she and her husband use a secret code to communicate with each other when parenting.
Caroline Hardin, believed to be from the US, revealed how she and her partner use a parenting technique called ‘YCYC’ in a TikTok video that has been viewed over 900k times.
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In the video, Caroline was asked by a user to explain what ‘YCYC” was and how the parents use it in day-to-day life.
Caroline wrote in a comment that the acronym YCYC stands for your choice, your consequence.
She explained in the video some scenarios where she and her partner use their secret code, to give their child autonomy and learn from their mistakes with natural consequences.
She said: “If my kid wants to stay up all night, I don’t care.
“I literally don’t care.
“So in that case the consequence would be my loss of free time, which doesn’t belong to her (Caroline’s daughter) so she can’t make that choice.
“The choice she can make is to stay up all night in her room if she wants to.”
She continued: “She has a flashlight and she reads for as long as she wants.
“Sometimes it is two minutes, sometimes it’s twenty, it doesn’t matter.”
She explained that when she or her husband use YCYC it’s usually because one of them just doesn’t want to take responsibility for what happens next and that neither wants to argue about it.
To make sure her child doesn’t feel responsible for her parents having a disagreement, the couple will signal ‘YCYC’ with their hands behind her back.
That means the other person can either drop it or take on the responsibility.
Caroline also said it was important that the choice-maker was also capable of accepting/handling/affording the consequences.
Another example she shared of using YCYC was her daughter learning that eating too much sugar could cause her a stomach ache, and believes the natural consequences of getting one will empower her daughter to not eat so much by her own decision-making.
Users loved Caroline’s parenting tip, which not only shows children the consequences of their actions but also prevents arguments with their partners.
One user wrote: “This is smart, because most of my decisions as a kid were structured around avoiding my mom getting mad, not actually having natural consequences.”
“I call this picking my battles. Lol. I want them to listen to what’s really important.” Wrote one mum.
A third person commented: “This is incredible and I’m stoked to hear more about it.”
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