When the government first issued a lockdown, I was relieved.
For the past two weeks, I’ve listened to my ex talk about how cancer and pollution has killed more people than coronavirus. He isn’t taking the health crisis seriously, and is still socialising outside of his house.
His attitude towards the pandemic frightens me, because we have a two-year-old son together.
The majority of the time, our son lives with me and when the lockdown was announced, we agreed that he would stay with me in self-isolation, but I reassured his dad that we would FaceTime on a regular basis, and I would send photos and updates.
But then Michael Gove backtracked, confusing parents across the UK by saying that children under 18 can move between households to see both parents. This despite the fact that there are documented cases of teenagers and young children catching coronavirus.
The mixed messages make me angry, because as a direct result of the government’s advice, my ex now feels it’s safe for him to see our son again – and to take him out of self-isolation.
I have no problem with him spending time with his son, but he is also insisting on seeing other family members, some of whom are in the high-risk group and could pass on the virus – or worse, die from it. In turn, he’s risking our son’s life, as well.
Any suggestions from me that they should all be self-isolating fall on deaf ears and it’s putting the relationship we have under a lot of pressure.
Read the latest updates: Coronavirus news live
I have family members who suffer from asthma and other health conditions, and I work in a care home where most residents are aged 80 and over. My manager has told me that if the virus gets into the home, none of them will survive.
I have shared my worries about the fact I work with vulnerable people with my ex and I have pointed out that he is still socialising and that he could be a carrier but not showing signs yet. He doesn’t care. He just says that if he dies, he dies.
The other day, we talked things over on the phone and it got heated very quickly. Next thing I knew, he had spoken to a solicitor and I am now being told that I have no choice but to allow my son’s father to pick him up during lockdown, because of government guidelines on the matter.
I suffer from anxiety and this situation is so stressful that I spent the whole day crying. It didn’t help that my ex got so angry with me that at one point he threatened not to bring my son back. I then felt like an awful mother because I didn’t want my son seeing me upset, but it’s hard to hide from him in a tiny flat.
I’m frightened, because I don’t want to spread the infection and I don’t want my son to contract COVID-19
His father’s and my once amicable relationship is now in tatters.
I feel so much pressure to do the right thing, but I don’t know what that is.
I’ve since also spoken to a solicitor, who tells me it’s too much of a grey area. If I stop my ex from seeing his son, even though it’s for good reason, he could take me to court and this could be used against me – because it goes against government guidelines.
I’m frightened, because I don’t want to spread the infection and I don’t want my son to contract COVID-19. I see no evidence of social distancing, hand-washing or cleaning from his dad so I don’t think it’s happening around them, which is why I don’t want my son to be there.
It’s really stressing me out as I’ve just heard yesterday that a man near by me has died and someone we know down the road has it. He’s in his early 50s, has no health issues and is fighting for his life in hospital.
The lockdown is not and has never been about stopping children from seeing their parents – these are temporary measures to keep everyone safe.
If we’re asked to self-isolate and not visit family members, this should include children and separated parents, especially if they don’t live close by. Yes it will be hard for all of us, but this rule needs to apply to all households, not just children over 18.
I am not the only person in this situation and the government needs to act now.
I just want to be a good mother, but until the government tightens the rules so that we can all be safe, I will be forced to continue allowing my toddler’s dad to see him, despite the risks.
Do you have a story you’d like to share?
Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below.
MORE: I hope the thieves who stole milk from our doorstep need it more than my vulnerable family
MORE: I don’t want the vulnerable in our village to go without, so 85 of us are stepping in to help
MORE: I conquered my fear of leaving the house, now I worry lockdown will send me back to square one
Coronavirus latest news and updates
